|
How to Help Him Stop
My boyfriend that I've been dating for a couple of months dips. He used to do it A LOT more than he does now and he says he's trying to stop (NOT for me, for him), but I don't see much progress.
I was doing some research and it says that one can of dip has the nicotine of 60 cigarettes, so I can only imagine how hard it is for him to quit. It doesn't bother me as much as it did in the beginning, but there's just one thing that I constantly think about.
I know there are horror stories for cigarettes, alcohol...all that after school special stuff...and I'm not a "goody-goody" by any means, but seeing videos and pictures and hearing stories about people developing mouth cancer or even getting parts of their jaw removed scares me to death. He's only 18 and he's been doing it for two years.
Here's my question: How can I help him quit? Every time I bring it up I feel like I'm nagging him. How can I just help him along in a subtle way that will actually work without sounding like a nag?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
honestly.my brother dips and his girlfriend told him that if he doesnt quit she wont kiss him .and if he continues to do it she said she would break up with him .(but she didnt mean it)she only said that to him because if he truly love her he will quit.....so just tell him that you wont kiss him.then he'll get tired of not getting them from her.so then if he keeps doing it,tell him that you will break up with him.but dont mean it.but make it sound like you mean it.......hope it works for you.
]
Yeah I know, I misread the question and you're not allowed to delete your answers anymore. I don't have the time to fix it right now, but I will later. Sorry about that! :)
Ok, now that I've learned how to read I'll give you a better answer. :)
I know what dip is, I'm not an idiot. What happened was, I thought that he was under 18, which would make it quite illegal. It's not THAT bad of a thing, but still illegal and at that age completely unacceptable. Turning him in would be a little extreme, but still would have been the best thing for him. That said, he's been doing it for 2 years so even if it isn't illegal anymore, he has been participating in illegal activity. That's a bad sign. He's legally an adult now, but he's still young and the fact that he's pretty deep into this is going to make it extremely hard for him to quit. I mean, it was illegal and he still did it, potential punishments and all. If that didn't stop him, not much will. Since he is 18, turning him in obviously isn't an option anymore. The biggest problem you're going to have is that there's no question he's addicted by now. An addiction is a serious, serious thing. Threatening the relationship would not necessarily be effective, but could be very effective. I don't personally know him so I can't decide that. It would be up to you. The reason why it would be okay to threaten the relationship, or take a break, is because of the addiction. He could very well have an addictive personality. He didn't have too many qualms about breaking the law. All that put together does not make a good partner. It's not like he murdered somebody, but breaking the law is breaking the law any way you look at it. It has to start somewhere and he could potentially get into more serious stuff. It's probably not likely that this would happen, but this is very good leverage for you in helping him quit. If he can quit dipping, that would show you that he's not those things, he was young, made a mistake, and got in over his head. You know him and know he's not a bad person, but making him prove it to you might just work. Taking a break from him would really put things in perspective for him. What is really important in his life to him? How far will he go to be with you? It wouldn't be that you'd be taking a break because you were upset with him or didn't want to be with him because he dipped, but to give him an incentive. When he quits, he can be with you, he can see you. It would be like a reward, not a punishment. You'd be taking a break from him to help him, not to hurt him or make him choose and he'd know this. If you two are close enough, I really think it will work. It'll be hard and it will hurt not being able to see him, but he will feel the same way and he's the one with the power to fix it. Make sense? As long as he knows you're not mad, that you love him no matter what, and that it's just a way to help him since it's what he wants too, it could be very effective. Support groups, therapy and such are obvious ideas. You could have come up with that yourself and probably did. It's not for everyone though and that's why I think you asked this question. You don't think that these things will help him. He may also be unwilling to go. It wouldn't hurt to try, though, of course. Again, you know him better than anybody on here. All we know is that he dips and has from age 16-18. Not a whole lot of info. In order to help somebody, you need to know them very well. You have lots of options and ideas now, pick what you think he will respond best to. Good luck! :)
I know this is not what you want to hear, but he needs a lot of help. The best way to help him quit is to turn him in. He needs to be punished and rehabilitated and he needs therapy. This isn't a small problem, it's a huge one that he can't handle on his own and it needs to be taken care of soon. Now, it would, of course, completely destroy your relationship with him if you just went and turned him in. Even though it's without question what he needs, you can try to get around it. Get him into some type of program. A support group or therapy, anything. It would be a good start and it could help him a lot. If he refuses, threaten the relationship. If he still refuses, end the relationship and threaten to turn him in. If he refuses again, turn him in. Sometimes you have to hurt people to help them. It sucks, but that's how it is. Life isn't always pretty. I hope it doesn't come to that and I hope he gets the help he needs. Good luck. :)
]
well a]take him to a therapy thingy; b] give him something to replace the addiction; c] (if you want to get the message in strong) show him really nasty pictures of people who have chewed. then tell him that you dont want to sound like a burden you just dont want to see him like that because you love him... maybe that could help him realize that he isnt just hurting himself but he is also hurting the people around him...hope i helped!!
xoxo
teardrops7
]
You must bring him to an organized help group for his addiction. Try your local Yellow Pages, or a group online. When he feels like dipping, get him gum, candy, or something else to drive away the craving. Once he hasn't given in to temptations, it will be easier and easier for him to stop all together. Hope I helped!
]
More Questions: |