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Liar?
So i have this friend[he is 17] who used to drink and do drugs, but over the summer, he went to rehab, and his whole family and friends supported him 100%. he goes to church every sunday and wednesday, and does everything he can to be involved. he had everyone fooled. After rehab, he was really sticking it out, and doing the right things. But last week he had a relapse. He started to drink at a party and it got out of hand. He didnt go home that following morning, and his family was worried. I asked him where he was and he decided to lie to me like he had done so many times before. he said he was just sleeping over at friends, and nothing happend.
he had so many people fooled, but not anymore.
we can see right through him.
but my question is...
how should i confront him about his lie.
and drinking problem?
its really bothering a bunch of us.
Should we just march up to him and tell him straight up? but if we do that... he is gonna get really mad and start drinking even more.
or should we just kinda say something nicely..
and he will either lie about it, or not take it seriously....
he doesnt know i know about his drinking, he thinks i think of him as a good christian boy.
when really i can see right past his lies.
what should i do?
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Ok. . . .intervention that is the best way to confront him about his drinking and lying find actual solid proof that he is drinking and tell his family. .then suggest some form of intervention for him this may not be the easiest way but it is the BEST way. . . .and besides your not always supposed to take the easy way out right?
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One relapse is not 'everyone fooled'.
A relapse is just a relapse. They happen, in fact some people would argue they are even part of the recovery process.
It's okay to be angry, but you have absolutely NO right to be vicious towards him about this. As you have already said, being mean will only make him mad and defensive.
This is still part of something he needs to be supported through, not beaten down for. People who are recovering alcoholics remain recovering alcoholics, for the rest of their lives! It's not something that gets cured.
You can tell him you know what happened. You can express your fear and concern and anger. You could even take your concerns and fear to his parents.
Act with love, respect and pity and you will act rightly.
Act with anger, hatred and judgment and you will make things worse.
You don't know his whole story, and you never will. Being judgmental is not going to help him. Tell him what you know because you care about him and value honesty, not because you want to attack him.
If you can't get over your anger at his lies, then choose not be his friend. That is okay. Attacking him for this mistake is not okay.
He still could use your help.
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