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he doesn't love me
So I have this problem.
I have a boyfriend who i trulyyy love.
I'm not "IN LOVE" with him, but i love him.
Hopefully you understand the difference. Well, it's weird because we have been together and everything was really good. Recently, we started hanging out with another couple, the girl being myy real good best friend, and the boy being my boyfriends realL good friend. so it's been us 4 for a while. but it's complicating because ever since we started hanging out with them, we have been fighting. i don't even know why, because it's not like our friends do anything to make us fight. we just do. i think it's because he compares us to them, [keep in mind that our friends are not together, they are just talking and hooking up] but he like compares us to them because they are just "happy" i guess, but alsoo they aren't a couple let alone have their feelings as strong as mine and my boyfriends [well as strong as MINE, i should say] but when we're together, its hearts beating out of our chests kinda thing, i love him, and he has told me that he loves me as well [keep in mind this is nott "IN LOVE" kind of thing] i really really really care a LOT about him. and he has said that he KNOWS he loves me.. yet last nighttt we were talking, and before i let it get to far to become an arguement i was just like "do you love me?" and he just stopped talking and kinda put up his hands and was like i dont know. and so it really upset me because he has said he loves me before and said he knowss he loves me. and hes like sometimes i feel like i do and sometimes i feel like i dont. and i was like ok that means you dont and he says i guess i dont then. so i was just left speechless. and hes like i guess i misinterpereted what the word means. and i just couldnt say anything.. knowing all the other times he said it, and then thinking that he never meant it, let alone know what love is.. just hurt. now i'm left heartbroken. i don't know what to do. that is all that's on my mind. we are still together, not fighting or anything, but i can't seem to get myself to feel any better. it hurts to know you love someone and not have them love you back.. and then think of all the other times he has said it and know that he didnt mean it, when he THOUGHT he did. this guy is my oxygen. what should i do? do you think this all happened because we started hanging out with the otehr couple and started fighting? i really need help. i reeally REALLY appreciate it.
ps- i'm sorry that this is so long.
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It could be that one of the main reasons you guys are having problems is because you keep trying to define the whatever it is that you have. Personally, I think that love is a confusing issue. Even when you do know you love someone, it can feel like sometimes you do and sometimes you do and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you want to be with the person forever, sometimes it feels like you're loosing control and you just want to be alone. It's probably where the whole falling part of falling in love came from.
I doubt that it's this other relationship that is causing you guys to fight, and if it is it's saying something about how strong your bond is to begin with. Don't worry so much. You are committed to each other and want to spend time together, correct? So focus on that. As for if he's really loving you the way you would like, give it some time. Even if his confusion is hurting you, remember you can't really accuse him of anything because he is, after all, being honest.
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ask him if he likes you for who you are, or he just wants to kiss you and stuff? if he says he loves you just to kiss you, hes using you. sometimes i feel im in love with my boyfriend and sometimes i feel i dont, but he always keeps our relationship together and its been over a year. ask him "when we fight, do you still feel the same way about me, or just dont even care? get to the basis, does he even like you. if so, go from there. love takes time. it depends on how long you've been in a relationship and what you're ages are.
0o0 im 14 bye the way.
best of luck && lemme kno how it goes :)
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It's okay,I do think that this started because ever since you guys were hanging out with the other couple,tell him why did he tell you something that he didn't mean,tell him not to get mad you just want to hear a reason from him,also that you don't want to fight either,that it really hurted you, you want this pain to go away,and he can take it away.
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