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BF obsessed with boys
14/f
Ok so last year I met this girl and she's my best friend. We laugh a lot and have fun together. I've never had a real best friend because all of my friends turn their backs on me. But she's not like that.. lets call her Jane
Recently, Jane has been obsessed with boys... and I know that it's normal at this age... but this is just getting out of control. She's crushing on 3 different guys!!!
guy #1- her neighbor, she says that he is only a friend... but constantly wants to see him and spend time with him
Guy #2- Her ex, they've been together for about 1 or 2 months... He's one of my friends. He's always talking about her, and she's spending time with him
Guy #3- 1 year older than her, she just met him... I met him, he's very funny and nice. She calls him a lot on his phone and is always looking forward to seeing him at church.
GAH!! It's driving me insane!! I really like Jane as a best friend and I don't want to lose my friendship with her.. but it's just sooooooooooooo annoying because she is always talking/seeing/watching boys
I've confronted her about this, about 5 times, and I told her that I'm so annoyed that she is obsessed with boys. I keep asking her who she truely likes and she can't crush on 3 guys. She tells me " I know, I know, I know... but I like all of them and I don't know who i like the most!!!"
So for about 4 days, I've been ignoring her... because I want nothing to do with her life right now.
Is there anyway I can get her to focus on me more, and less on boys?? Or change her mind about them?
I need advice!
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Hmm. Honestly hun it doesn't sound to me like Jane is the one with the problem.
She can crush on three guys if she wants too. It doesn't sound like she is looking to settle down and get married; she is just enjoying the company of guys she likes. There is no crime in that.
You are the one with the problem here. You are jealous of the new people in her life. It doesn't matter at all that they are guys.
Take a deep breath and tell your friend the truth: That you miss her and miss feeling like her best. If you want to spend time with her, then tell her that too.
Then ACT like her best friend and listen to her. You don't have to do it all the time, but at least give her feelings a tiny bit of respect eh? They might be confused and silly, but they are still her feelings and it's no wonder she prefers these new people's company if all you have to tell her is that she isn't allowed to feel the way she does.
If you want to maintain this friendship there is going to have to be a give and take. She is going to have talk a bit less about guy and respect your feelings a bit more, and you are going to have talk a bit less about guys and respect her feelings a bit more.
Either that, or you can just keep ignoring her, in which case you'll definitely loose her as a friend.
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She can crush on all the guys. She isnt obligated to just like one. As long as she doesnt start dating them all.
When she starts talking about a guy just plain out tell her,, Im sick of hearing about boys, can we talk about something else? You asking her who she likes more is going to make her think that you really give a damn who she really likes. Just support your friend. Thats about all you can do.
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She's a teenage girl...we don't change our mind about boys...and she can have as many crushes as she wants...don't try to make her pick one...but if she's specifically dating one remind her to look but don't touch...if she's really ignoring you just to stare at guys tell her that you miss spending time with her and that you all need to hang out more...but don't try to tell her what she can or can't do...that will just upset her...let her be a girl...we can't help our obsessions.
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