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ohhhh! love & friends.
15/f
both of my best friends feel as though they've been replaced with my new boyfriend. it sucks so much... especially because one of them is being a total hypocrite about it. she also had a new boyfriend before i did and she's head over heels for him. they spend all their time together. everything sucks and the only thing i can do is cut. i wish it wasn't like this. please help.
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oh goshh .. i've been through this one, for sure.
about a year ago, i started dating this guy and it got really serious. a few of my friends told me that they felt a little replaced by him, but i just thought it was silly and i didn't think i did anything wrong. eventually, a bunch of my friends finally confronted me. they didn't do it rudely or anything, they were just hurt. they told me soo much and i actually started to realize it. i felt awful! it's one of those things where .. when you're the one doing it, you don't realize it at all.. but when someone else does it, it's REALLY obvious. yeah, you're friend is a hypocrite but theres nothing really you can do about it. i say you set aside a few days a week for your friends, and a few days a week for your boyfriend. you guys could even go out as a group, your friends & his friends. don't worry, just try to hang out with them more often. even if you don't think you're doing anything wrong, they're seeing everything in a different perspective.
OMG. wow, i just read the last part. sorry i kind of ignored that, i didn't even see it. oh my gosh, i know this is difficult but you should seriously tell someone! my best friend used to cut, and it almost got to the point where she died. please, please don't do that. you obviously have friends who care about you :) if its about something deeper than that, then you should see somebody about it, definitely don't keep it a secret. but if its just because of that then it wont help at all, trust me. just have a one on one with your friends, let them tell you how they're feeling and vice versa. trust me, this will blow over soon, you just need to find a solution. but please, cutting isn't the way out.
good luck!
ps: if you ever feel like you want to do that .. call one of your friends, go for a walk, watch a movie. do something that you enjoy. just please don't do that :(
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If you're important enough to your friends for them to be concerned that you're spending too much time with your boyfriend, then they won't let your boyfriend separate you from them. Maybe you should hang out with all three of them (your boyfriend and your two friends) at the same time so that your friends can get closer to someone who is important to you, and so your boyfriend can see that your friends are a big part of your life, too. And NEVER ditch your friends for your boyfriend. If you made plans with your friends or are hanging out with your friends and your boyfriend calls, you can invite him along, but do notttt ditch your friends. You probably know how it feels, since your other friend spent a lot of time with her boyfriend. Just make sure everyone feels included. Its hard, but not the most difficult thing in the world. Cutting may take your mind off of it, but its not going to solve anything.
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if they feel that way then put down your razor and talk things over with them.
what exactly is cutting going to solve?
I can tell you what it WONT solve:
1. Reparing friendships
2. Helping you.
3. Helping your problem.
Obviously one of two things are happening:
1. Your friends are jealous.
2. Your friends REALLY dont feel like youre spending time with them.
Friends ALWAYS come first so if they really dont feel like your giving them enough attention then hang out with them a little more than your boyfriend for now.
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