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should i or should i not?
14/f
My boyfriend wants to have sex, he's BEEN ready actually. And I've been together with him for about 4 months. The thing is, I want to, but yet I don't. I don't want to end up regretting it. It's kind of hard for me to explain why I don't want to do it with him too. I mean, I don't just want to get loose my virginity like it's nothing, seriously. -_____-" I don't want to end up regretting it, it might change my life in some what way, I think I'm too young, and it's also too early, well I just don't really want to. He bought condoms just in case also, and he says that if I'm not ready, he'll wait until I am.
But should I? My decisions go Yes & No now and then. >.<
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If you are questioning it, then you aren't ready. 14 is young, and for dating someone for only 4 months, you should wait longer. When it's time you'll know.
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If you're not sure, you're not ready. Don't do it.
Aside from the fact that you aren't sure and that should automatically sound an alarm, you're too young. You are 14 years old and have your whole life ahead of you. What if the condom breaks and you get pregnant? I guarentee your parents will not be happy, and you won't be either.
Furthermore, at 14 you aren't mentally ready for sex. Yes, puberty means your body is, but your brain isn't. Sex is a huge step in a relationship. Also, be honest with yourself. How many relationship REALLY last at 14? Not many. So wait for the one who will wait for you. It will be worth it.
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None of us will be able to tell you whether you should have sex or not. Only you can decide that.
We can, however, tell you about our experiences and let you know what we think, so here's my two cents:
I lost my virginity to my boyfriend when I was sixteen. We had been together for over six months, and thought we were in love. It was an act of (what we thought was) love at that point, and neither of us regretted it, as far as I can tell. I have though, since then, met someone else and actually fallen in love. BUT, if I hadn't taken that first step with that guy then my life would be very different.
In my opinion, if you have any doubt or nervousness in your mind, don't you dare.
You said yourself you think you're too young (and I agree with you), and it's also too early.
If you're aware of those facts, then why would you want to cave to his wants?
Be a little selfish every now and then. Do what you feel is best for YOU, even if maybe it isn't the best thing for your relationship.
If he really cares about you, he will wait until you are ready, and he will be fine with the idea that you may not be ready when you're with him. If that isn't the case with him, then you should probably find a new guy...'cause one that tries to pressure you into something as big as this at the age you are doesn't deserve you and obviously isn't mature enough to think with anything but the thing hanging between his legs. Lol.
Anyway, it sounds to me like you want us to tell you that you shouldn't. Reading your question, I don't see that you think anything positive about the idea of having sex with this guy.
Since that appears to be the case, I wouldn't.
Good luck!
-Siren =)
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I think you should wait because you did say you didn't want to lose it like it's nothing. 4 months is seriously too early in my opinion. If you are protected and REALLY comfortable doing it, then go ahead. But it seems a bit weird for him to bring it up so early in the relationship.. considering your age. So give him the test. You wait until you are truly ready and comfortable doing it. If he can't wait for you.. let's say near your first year anniversary.. then yeah he's not worth it.
Some people take their virginity far seriously than other girls. There are some people who regret it deeply and they don't feel the same way about themselves, their relationships afterwards. Don't let him pressure you into it. If you are scared then remember you don't have to do it. If he's a nice guy he will understand and wait for you!
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You are 14 & you are in no way ready. To be ready, you always have to be able to take on the responsibilities & consequences that may follow. One of those consequences could be a child & no 14 year old in today's society is fit to handle the responsibility of raising a child, especially when they are a child themselves.
You are having doubts & asking other peoples opinions, which is definitely a huge sign you are not ready. You are right - you are too young & you will most likely regret it mainly because you haven't quite matured yet.
You are lucky to have a guy who will wait around for you, so tell him you aren't ready. It's better to wait until you're positive about your decision than jumping into anything & hating yourself for it later.
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You need to decide are you ready. If you feel uncomfortable about it than don't do it or you will regret it.
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