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Why am I feeling like this?
I'm a junior now. I've gone through at least one guy/relationship each year. One really hurt me.
I'm in a new relationship now. This guy is amazing, so sweet and funny. We are really open with each other and it's so different from my other relationships. I can't believe it lasted to 5 months. It's almost 6 months now and it's scaring me. I don't know how to get rid of this.. feeling..fear. I'm so scared that it's going to hurt really badly if this ends.. because I feel as though I'm too attached already. And since this relationship is without any abuse of some sort [verbal] it's the best I have ever had. I'm just worrying over things and trying to prepare myself. But I'm tired of doing this. One of my past relationships lasted over a year but I was still "with" the guy for another year or so, just not official, if you know what I mean. :/ 8th grade to the middle of 10th grade. And he hurt me so bad throughout the years and I'm afraid it's going to hurt worse in this relationship.
I don't know why I'm suddenly having this fear. I've dated 7 people and he's the first guy to actually treat me right.. and listen to me. He's patient and kind, he's actually willing to watch disney/chick flicks with me .. he doesn't make fun of me. He tries to make me smile and laugh.. and he tries to see me as much as he can.
It just seems too good. We haven't had any fights either. I'm not one to fight and in my opinion, I don't think it's healthy. For my relationships I guess. Others? Sure.. My friends always push the idea on me that fighting is a must in a relationship. They try to make me feel like our relationship is somewhat flawed.. and it makes me think that they are jealous sometimes.. because they always pick fights with their boyfriends.
How do I get rid of these worries?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You said that you two are very open with eachother. Maybe you could try talking to him about it, when the time is right. If he really is a sweet, funny, and just all around great guy he'll understand your concern. If he really does like you (which I'm sure he does) he'll probably reassure you that he wouldn't do that to you. If you guys did eventually break up he'd probably try to hurt you as little as possible. I know that's somewhat impossible but he can try. I think you've found yourself a good guy & you should just try to talk to him. I hope this helps :]
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girl that is soo cute
im going throuhg the exact same thing
and went through the exact same thing with my other boyfriends also
there really isnt anythhing you can do to stop fear, sorry , but its something that all people are naturally inclined to doing. and not fighting is a good thing its healthy and it shows alot
all you can do is have fun and enjoy every moment you spend with him. this reminds me soo much of my situation im not even kidding good luck and best wishes to both of you ♥christina
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WOWW he sounds like a great guy. first let me tell you, dont listen to your friends at all. not fighting is good for you, it leaves you less stressed. i know im younger than you but i still hope i can help
i know your scared of long term relationships because of past experiences, but you should try not to let it effect you and your really good relationship. i know its hard but you'll eventually work up to it.
if you and your current boyfriend are so open, then sit down with him and explain to him your past experiences in relationships, and how you didnt know how you got so lucky with him, but how you fear the broken heart and losing him.
if he treats you right like you told everyone on here, then he's not gonna break your heart. trust me, tell him that your loving how he treats you so well, but tell him your fears arent because of him, its because of such a long relationship and past experiences. hope i helped out a little :]
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U really cannot get rid of them its a worry and if its in you rhead its in it alright lol..but hey i think you should talk to your b.f about that feeling of whatmight happen ..yes deffintly talk to him about it its the best solution to a porblem like thim..i myslef have the same kinda problem same guy ( caring sweet) butin my relationship he told me he will never break up with me i have to break up with him....he told me that beacuse i talked to him about it i said i waas worried that you no we might break up and i really like you ..so take my advice it works ...what ever he says maabby the key to your worring ..=]
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Listen honey, you have choices to make here too. At this early point in the relationship, and given your age. It is too early to tell if this is going to be a long term relationship. Either one of you could change your mind. But as long as you are sure that you want this relationship to last, you have to behave that way. Number one, by being faithful. Number two by being honest. Number three by putting his feelings or happiness before yours. AND he should be doing all the same things. When these steps are taken by both people in a relationship, it has a very good chance of lasting. And from what you wrote it DOES sound to me if that is what is going on.
Here is the bottom line though. At any time, before you make a committement to get married, either one of you could change your mind, for any reason, and all bets are off. And since this is a free country, (good for you and good for him) a person has a right to decide whether or not they want to be in a relationship. And the other person has to let them go.
All you can do is be the person that he wants to be with. If he is special to you, you must be sure he knows that....by your actions, (and words, too if that is comfortable for you.)
Also I will say this about worrying.....we waste a lot of time and energy worrying, and often about something that may not happen. Or even if it does, all our worrying didn't prevent it, did it? Honey, have a fun time and enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend. Life is too short, and sometimes, (though hopefully many many years from now for you) all we have left are good memories.
Michele
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Im having the same problem.
The first guy that I have found that treats me right, genuinely cares about me and would do anything for me.
But I have worse fears, as Im his only ''proper'' girlfriend, and he lost his virginity to me, so the chances of us staying together long term I know is low.
But I try not to dwell on it, try distracting your mind, and when your with him, express how bad your feeling and how worried you are.
I know its not much but what helpsme is thinking about all these people that have been together since they were 14/15 and are still together in their 60's, 70's +. The more we dwell upon the bad thoughts, the less time we have to have fun.
So make the most of what your getting
Good Luck <3Marizzle.x
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