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broken heart, suicide, confused....please help me
Its been almost one year since this all began. It all started early September and when Josh broke up with me September 21st 2006 I went into a huge depression. I cut my wrists, stopped talking for a little, and completley lost myself. Since he broke up with me hes only gone out with one other girl, my best friend, but hes gone out with her 5 times off and on. But he has gone out with me about 5 times off and on too. So theres this tension between me and my bff now. But also since he broke up with my I kept trying to replace him with someone else. On my second try (Steven) is when things went out of control because when he broke up with me the entire depression thing got worse and I don't know who I am, or who I am supposed to be. Now I'm doubting whether or not I love my current bf. Am I just trying to replace Steven? Or am I still trying to replace Josh? For a while I had no problem saying I love you. But my sister said "Ever since Josh you haven't been the same" and Im shocked at how right she is. How do I find myself again, but now that I think about it I don't even know if I want my old self back because I always hated the way I was. And now im just so confused. I don't really have a specific question but what's your opinion on this whole thing? Please anyone help me.
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Well, it's normal to get depressed, though generally not to these extremes, although i've been there and done that until i required a psychiatrist's attention.... the only way to really to fix this is to think about:
1) who you are right now
2) who you want to be
3) how you are going to become that person
such as, if you want to stop depression, although it may sound cheesy, sometimes it does help to have a psychiatrist, or at least a really good friend to share your problems with.
or, if you want to know what to do about guys, think about taking a break for a while. or maybe considering why you truly love your current boyfriend. and perhaps reasons why you may have loved you past boyfriends. and then maybe sort the reasons why you don't love them. it might help you figure out your feelings.
...if you need more help, just message me.
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honey,
Boyfriends come and go. they break your heqarts and you break some too. life is hard. and you have been having a bad year. i am so very sorry for this to happen to you. i dont think that your tryin to replace him. i just think that your lonely so you need the comfort, or securnisne. that you feel when you have a boyfriend.no mattter how upset and hurt and depressed you feel never go to the extremems of harming your own body...never. Maybe its too soon to see other people because you just get hurt. Well obvisuly your sister is seeing problems in you and maybe you can confide(tell her) in her. I understand that there is now tension between you and your friend maybe you and your friend need to talk and decided whether you two need space or not. But if you just want to gather your life together and figure out who you are? then maybe put ur realtionships on hold and go be with family. family will always be there no matter what and they define you. They will help you through anything. ALways friends will help. But friends can turn your back on you, but you always have your family. Just try and not date. Because you will get more upset. Realtioships are hard some times. Maybe you just need to create friendship with some boys and get close for comfort but not too close, and then gain this friend back, and lean on your family. But most important find yourself. Its not hard. You just ahve to find out who you really are and what you want to be like. Your real self is still there it never left. You just covered it up with this new you. And you said that you didnt liek the old you, well take the old you and better it. But dont try and be someone your not. i hope i helped.if you ever need to talk i have a s/n its Awsoftballbabe23 if you ever need to chat.
thanks
abby.
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Hi honey, I am sorry for your pain, and I hope that I can help. I think your young age is part of the reason why you are so upset. You are not looking at the whole picture or to the future. I know this sounds corny, but you have your whole life ahead of you. YOu will fall in love and break up many many times before you find the man that you are going to marry and spend the rest of your life with. (If you choose well) Next time you might be the one who breaks someone else's heart. And even though this experience with Josh, lets you know how that feels, there is nothing that the person YOU stopped loving can do that will make you love him again. You can't fake an emotion like that.
You are prolonging the ordeal by seeing Josh again. He is the one with the problem, going back and forth between you and your bff. This is not very nice. Also, this is not unusual among your age group because when things go wrong between you and your bf and/or your bff, you're stuck with seeing each other every day because you go to the same school, or live in the same neighborhood. As adults, when we don't want to see someone anymore, it is much easier to avoid them. So you are faced with seeing the person who hurt your feelings almost every day which makes it harder to move on.
Something you said in your question, about not wanting your old self back because you didn't like that person. That gives me a clue as to why this relationship is taking such a tole on you. When we don't "love" ourselves and think we need someone else to love us to make our lives matter, then we have a VERY hard time when things go wrong in a relationship. Look around you at the adults in your life. Not all of them are in mutually loving and beneficial relationships. How do they manage? How do they get by? What about when we lose a loved one to death. How do we get by? Well many of us do get by. Because we have self love. We love ourselves enough to know that the future is still worth living for. Something wonderful will happen to you if you let it. If you love yourself, and believe you deserve to be treated well. Then you will only allow yourself to have relationships with girls and guys who treat you with respect and wouldn't hurt you. And that is why us old people tell young people to 'take your time when you start a relationship'. Become friends first. Because if you don't like the person as a friend, why would you care for them as a lover? How do you treat your friends and boyfriend(s), would you deliberately hurt one of them? If not, then why be friends with or love someone who is not ready to treat you as well as you treat them?
I know it seems hard to believe now, but I KNOW that if you go on, you will have another chance at happiness in your life.....if you let it in.
Good luck to you dear
Michele
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Well I think that since you're depressed you try to make yourself happy by occupying yourself with someone else, but everytime it doesn't work out you feel even more depressed and then you tend to look at your past relationships thinking you probably could have done this or that to make the relationship work, your wishing you probably could go back on it but you can't.
You want the depression to go away but you're really not solving it by slitting your wrists. Slitting your wrist, you can hit an artery, you could worry and know what are you gonna do?, die.
I'm sorry but committing suicide is a terrible way of trying to get out of life. God gave you life, and gives you a chance to live it, people go when its there time, and for you its not your time, God decides that. You look to the negative things in your life, but don't look at the negatives focus on the positive things in your life, and you cant say you don't have any, if you're saying that to yourself thats what causes more of a depression for you.
Look at the negative things on a more positive side, I know it would be hard, but look at it that way, and you can say: I'm happy and thankful for the relationships I've had, I've had these people care for me, and I can learn from my past relationships so I won't make the same mistakes in the future. Only you can make yourself feel better, other people can help you but they dont want to dwell in other peoples sorrows all the time so they tend to stay away from it.
It's not good to dwell in your own sorrow, you can better yourself by not doing that, listen to a song that can really inspire you and keep you going, you have so much to live for , life is already too short to just sit around and do nothing. Best of luck to you, and hope this helps and sorry so long!
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