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Why is he a jerk... only at certain times?
Hi. I'm 15/f.
Well there's this guy who is friends with my older brother.
Anyways sometimes we "talk", but I like him as a friend. My brother thinks I like "like" him, but is ok with it.
We were supposed to hang out yesterday night, but I was too tired so I stayed home and said we could hang out today.
This morning I called him and we hung out-- and drove around for hours (it was a bit awkward).
When my brother got off work, we picked him up. Then I went to a church thing with my other friend (a girl).
Afterwards, my brother and the guy were being complete jerks. I mean, they usually tease us, but they've never been really mean to me before. It sounds stupid, but I cried (I don't think they saw, though).
My friend and I were going to hang out with them, but instead we just left.
So why was he like that (my guy friend)?
Thanks.
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Why do chicks dig jerks?
Copyright © 1996 Drew Mcpherson
The human condition promotes learning through trial and error; it is a fatiguing and often frustrating means of education. Women are excellent teachers of the bitter lesson that being a nice guy does not get a man laid. An "average" guy (who is often the one most capable of love and trust) is routinely brushed off as a "loser", and passed over for an abusive jerk who screeches up in a Porsche, scores, and disappears. So in a woman's mind, if a man is nice, he's weak. The nice guy wanders through life in a state of psychic castration, his heart scarred by the talons of female avarice and flawed psychology. He is a poor fool who has listened too literally to the women who lie that what they want from men is adoration and understanding. He has not suffered enough trial and error to lay bare the clandestine agendas of the female gender. So the nice guy has to settle for the vicarious company of flirting with a photo in a magazine delivered in a plain brown wrapper. But what of the "bad boy" phenomenon? Every man knows, or has seen in action, that the more he abuses women, the more successful he will be in attracting them; and the nicer he is, the more likely he will wind up as a "friend". But most men are socialized to cultivate harmony, not discord, and so they refuse to participate in such pathology. Most men are nice guys, who have no interest in acting like jerks to women. Logic would suggest that a woman would want to avoid being brutalized, so why then does she so lustfully climb up on the back of a Harley, instead of, as usual, wait for a limo to appear? The answer has to be unraveled from the tangled mess of feminine psychology. What a woman really wants is a rich bastard who turns out in the end to be a nice guy-he is the storybook hero of her novels and soap operas. But she will settle-for the short term, at least-for a poor thug who can offer her excitement. In her muddled vision of the world, she equates abusive behavior with earning power, because she assumes that television and the movies actually mirror reality, so that successful men are always conniving, ruthless, and underhanded. Bad boys are untamed and reckless and charged with sexuality. They are a "challenge" (meaning that they don't instantly fall prey to her Pussy Power). Flexing their Neanderthal biceps they are apt to drag her off to the nearest cave, and she can feel-for once-powerless in their grip, a rape fantasy come to life. A woman's hormone-driven "logic" will equate excitement with money, at least until she tires of eating at taco joints. She glories in the sensation of raw adventure-it is the same thrill which ripples through her when a rich boyfriend pampers her and indulges her every whim. For as long as she dallies with the bad boy-and it will be brief because his budget is in his pants-she can afford to let herself be wild, to experience unfettered humanity, to freely express her sexuality as nature intended. For a few racing heartbeats she will cease to be a whore and become a human being. And when the fling is over, her "morality" has not been compromised in any way-she can reconstruct her delusional self-image by accusing the bad boy of abusing her.
The average woman is a spoiled child, a selfish and arrogant bundle of desires, raised to be a rapacious taker from men. By the age of 5 or 6 a little girl has learned to scramble up onto Daddy's lap and to manipulate him with flowing tears or a sly look or a downturned face. He responds by taking care of her every need. Daddy is only nobly trying to insulate his little girl from what he knows to be a hard world, but unfortunately he's green-lighting her future as an abuser of men. She has already begun to grasp the raw power of her femininity-by acting "female" she can get anything she wants from a man. For some reason these tactics don't seem to work very well on Mommy, so she understands that her power draws its energy from the opposite gender. By the time her breasts begin to swell and her figure rounds into soft curves, she's discovered exactly how this power works. She is well aware of the effect she has on the boys around her, how much they seem to lust after her ripening body. The more they want her, the more she realizes the value of her commodity. She exults in her new-found strength, sensing its awesome potential, and even chuckles haughtily to herself at the boys who ogle her when she wiggles by. She understands that she is in control-this is something she can use to her advantage. It is the birth of an attitude which will ruin normal relationships with men for the rest of her life.
Meanwhile, Mom and Church, witnessing the verge of her womanhood, begin to instruct her to withhold sex, sermonizing that her body is a "gift" which she must save to give to "someone special". But it's too late. She's already learned that it's not a gift, but stock in trade-boys are waiting in line to bring her presents and compete for her attention. She really doesn't understand what all the fuss is about, why they are so intent on "getting into her pants". She has already assimilated the knowledge that her body is a tool, to be used for gain, not pleasure. Her mother continually warns her that "nice girls don't", and the more she holds out, the bigger the pile of presents grows. She doesn't realize that "nice girls don't" is just a euphemism for dishonest prostitution; that as she flirts and sticks out her breasts and wears sexually provocative clothing she is exchanging the promise of sex for gifts (money). And Mom is frantic to make sure that she remains a "good girl" (dishonest whore), so she teaches her that if a boy really likes you, he'll: take you out (spend money on you); date you exclusively (he's willing to let you train him, and he won't be wasting the resources he could be giving to you on other girls); and not demand sex in return (play the game by your rules, so that you can extort as much money as possible from him without obligation before surrendering your "gift", if you do at all). Mom is teaching her that for women, love is power; for men, it is enslavement. The greater a man's sexual needs, the more obedient he will be forced to become. If she manages her "gift" astutely, the payoff will be a lifetime of ease without her ever having to lift a finger.
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Thats what guys do when we're next to each other, you sure he was really being meen? I joke around alot (too much) with all of my friends, but I don't meen any of it. Some people respond to my teasing a bit different. Some girls think I'm being flirty (I usually am) but others can't handle it. Usually sophomore or freshmen girls don't like it. Juniors and Senior girls don't mind it and some flirt back.
You NEED to let them know that they REALLY are bothering you. Don't just say you guys are mean. Talk to your brother when hese around, tell him that you didn't like what him and his friend did, and make him tell his friend the same thing. That way He gets a clear message that he offended you.
It's very imporant you do this, or else he will think that it's okay do mess around with you like he does everyone else.
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You have to remember that girls mature much faster than boys do even if the guy looks more mature physically. It can be very confusing for teenage girls because you see this guy who you're attracted to, and he's taller than you are, and it looks like he's an adult, which makes him even more appealing, but he's not an adult at all. In fact, most teenage guys still act like little boys. It's a truth that many girls have to learn the hard way.
The best thing you can do is to find a guy who's more mature and isn't friends with your brother. Guys are always going to be guys, and they need time to bond with their guy friends. By liking one of your brother's friends, you're exposing yourself to all the immature, hurtful, behind the scenes guy behavior you aren't supposed to see. I'm sorry you were hurt, and I'm very sorry that they made you cry. I'm sure that didn't feel good at all - you have my sympathy.
However, I'm afraid you're going to experience a lot of pain like this if you continue to express interest in your brother's friend. Boys their age can be mean, and you deserve to be with a guy who strives to be with a man, not a guy who enjoys being a little boy. So please don't feel like you were stupid. You weren't at all. You were naive and sincere - both can be very good qualities. You didn't know you were dealing with jerk. Now you know. You can do better.
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when guys get around other guys, they tend to do that. i guess it's to show off and act like they're big and bad and tough, even though they arn't. give him another chance, and if he does it again, talk to him.
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probly cuase he was with another guy, whenever guys are with eachother they act like jerks and put up a bad boy persona...also he might not want your brother to know he likes you...sorry if im not much help, goodluck
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