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parents hate him
I've been friends with this guy Brandon for two years. I honestly love him, I mean we haven't just been friends we've been going out and sometimes things stop us but this time nothing is getting in the way. My mom doesn't like him at all, she doesn't know that we ever dated. I love him and I know I'm too young (16) to be making the decision of who I want to be with for the rest of my life but I know I love him. Last night I told him that I can't be with him anymore because my parents don't want me to marry out of my religion (I'm a muslim and he's Christian.) He was crying and so was I. I want to be with him more then anything but my dad said if I marry him he's going to leave my mom and I love my mom and don't want her to be alone because I'm being a selfish snob. I don't know how I can make them understand that he means absoluely everything to me. Any suggestions on what I should do?
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Your parents are idiots.
When someone says "I'll leave your mother if you marry that guy" they are an idiot. Plain and simple. I really hope you misunderstood what was said, because that is the dumbest thing I have heard on this site in a damn long time, and we hear some really stupid shit.
So, I'm sorry, that is idiotic. The NICE thing is that if your parent or parents are prone to that kind of idiotic behavior, NOTHING you do, or don't do, will change them. You could marry a Muslim, or a mountain goat, and they would still be prone to being just that moronic. They might even do a stupid thing like throwing away thier sacred union because you choose a Christian to love. If they want to be idiots, that is not, and never will be, your fault.
My big question to you is: Why are you having this fight! Do you have immediate plans to get married in the next year or so? I certainly hope not. Have this fight with your father when you are 24 and have set the date, not when you are teen and are just dating them!
I don't care how much you love him. If you are teen, you are not ready for marriage. Frankly, you shouldn't even be thinking about, let along getting into a war with your parents over it. It's a loooooong way off.
So forget about marriage for the time being, and just date the guy. If you parents have a problem with that, well that is their problem, do your best not to let them turn it into your problem. If they do something highly moronic because of their problem, well, that would be their new problem too!
Don't let your parents hold you hostage. Parents get to hold their teens hostage only when their teens are contemplating harming themselves or others. Dating someone of a different race or religion doesn't count as 'harming yourself' If you want to be with this guy, this is the time to dig your heels in and not give an inch.
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Why do you have to get married anyways? I know it is imporant, but really, its just a piece of paper. You can be together, and even live together and have kids, but not officially be married. Or you could call your dad's bluff. I mean, if he would leave your mom over something like this, then he obviously is already thinking about doing it. Even if he does actually leave her, it wouldnt be your fault.
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hey, well why do you HAVE to get married RIGHT NOW? you guys are only 16, why not wait until your 18? those two years might help you out in the long run, because than you can explain to your parents that you really love this guy and it would be a good time for them to try to learn to like him. explain to them that he isnt going anywhere for a long time (if you stay together for two years that will help back up what you said). if your rushing the marriage by getting married at 16 because your afraid that if you dont he will move on, thats unhealthy. dont tell your parents that your planning on getting married at 18 and your just waiting it out 2 years to make them like him.
♥
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If your dad left your mom it wouldn't be your fault. Who you date and eventually marry has nothing to do with your parents relationship, and you shouldn't have to pick your happiness over your moms. If your dad left your mom then most likely there would be another reason behind it, even if he says it's your fault. And he could be just telling you this knowing you would break up with Brandon, he could have no intention of really leaving your mom.
Do they really know how much you care for him? You should sit them down and explain to them that even though you respect their opinions you really love him and that you really want to be with him. Tell them it's not far of them to judge him based his his religion alone, and it hurts you that they won't accept him. Tell them that he makes you happy.
Who you marry is *your* choice, not theirs. So you should get back together with Brandon, no matter what your parents say. You love each other, you should be together. Your parents should support you, and I'm sorry if they don't. If your dad leaves your mom then he's a jackass, and your mom deserves better. That's all I can say. Good luck with your relationship.
::Jasmine::
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