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confidence?
ok,i really need to build up my confidence,personality,and stuff like that. i feel like i want to change,for me,to feel better about myself. i want to be able to yell and scream and have fun,not care. what i need help is, how can i do all this***? how can i break down my wall i've had up for so long?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This may sound silly, but I have done this (1) learn ti really enjoy your own company; discover what makes you happy (2) talk to yourself in the mirror, either silently or aloud, and tell yourself all the wonderful things you are or want to be (3) always wear your smile, you'll be surprised how many people will smile back at you. Good luck and g-d bless.
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okay, i had a lot of trouble building confidence in the past two years, i think i've got it down though, you honestly can't think about what anyone thinks about you. and i promise, they'll like you better because you're opening up and being yourself, if they don't, you don't need them. if life's about taking risks, then you need to go for you, you need to just act totally messed up, be loud, and fun, and i promise, it'll make you feel amazing.
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wow..when i read this i had a total flash back..seriously. it really wasn't all that long ago that i had the trouble of getting myself out there and showing people that im not just some shy little girl that they thought i was. i hated thinking i wouldn't be thought as someone "fun" and couldn't release things by yelling or just having a great time running around and being crazy, which was ultimatley what i really wanted to do. a lot of that comes with age..you learn not to care what people think of you,therefore you can be as crazy as you want without feeling wierd about it. then again, that must sound like a pretty crappy piece of advice...so im gonna try and help you get this done now. first off, scream..i know i know...just run outside, do the craziest dance you can and screm like you're in a really bad horror movie..lol...that'll be your way of telling yourself you're ready..now, just do it! maybe have a party or sleep over where you can do stupid games or something..that'll definaley give people different perspective on you...once you show them 1 time..the'll expect it always..it will work if you really want this. hope i helped! let me know!
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The way to break down that wall is to figure out the fear and other issues that led to you putting it up as a defense and to keep others back and you from experiencing fun etc. and not caring or being natural.
Were you abused emotionally, physically even sexually (we have to cover the bases here) by someone or kicked around by people your age and made to have to build defenses or hold on to a lot of negative stuff most kids never experience?
The trouble usually starts there. How do you get rid of it and learn to be happy, be care-free, not care etc? You have to figure out first what caused you to become this way and deal with the issues surrounding that and learn to move forward and not let them hold you hostage or down for that matter.
I think you should consult an adolescent pyschiatrist and try to work around what is holding you back from living your life the way you want it, what ammounts for your lack of confidence, why your personality is affected by these issues and tips and tricks to get you to where you want to be.
A lot of people your age that hear the work shrink or psychiatist think it's a negative thing or only people who are extremely unwell or not with reality need to see one. That isn't tue as many adults, teens, famous people, teachers you name it see them for help with issues that are too big for one person to get a grip on easily and are affecting quality of life along with depression and other mental illness/disturbance.
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i was EXACTLY like you. i was always shy, not really outgoing. i'd just sit back and basically watch all my friends talk to guys, get the guys. and i felt like crap about it. one day i finally opened up to two of my best friends about it. i don't know why but it was emotional for me. but they understood. now i am differnt. i am a lot more outgoing, just think to yourself, i am such an incredible person. anyone that doesn't want to get to know me...oh well that's their loss. its hard because i was always thinking, what if people don't like me? or how do i just act "carefree". well you only live once, so make it amazing. you can even pretend to have confidence and then you'll get used to it. just do something you wouldn't normally do. take a chance go out of your comfort zone a little bit. it is very hard, but it is wayy wayyy worth it, truust me.
hope i helpedd <3 =]
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it helps if you aren't known for being the shy person. If you are getting ready to start a new school or even a new grade, then you might be able to do it easier. You can just let loose and have fun. Im not saying go do crazy stupid things, im just saying that you should do something spontaneous. I do that all the time and I feel that i have a wonderful social life. People know me for being outgoing and spunky. You just need to forget about what peopole might think of you and have fun. You are only young once. Live it up. :D
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Find humor in every situation. Don't let people get you down [don't let their words get to you]. Find something you really love to do, and do it. Then find people who love to do it as well, and try being friends with them. Read a book. Laugh. Tell yourself one thing you like about yourself every day. Eat foods that make you happy [but not too sugary]. Laugh. Go to a park or something in your town and run around screaming, "They're coming for me!" [just don't say "help"]. Just do things you enjoy and find people who enjoy you and you enjoy them.
--Jack
(15/m)
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