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I'm so miserable
I know this isn't the right category but it's the most popular so please just bear with me.
I am so miserable. I've had nothing but a run of bad luck for the last two months.
First the business I worked for closed down, so then I had to find a new job, I found one but hate it.
Then my car was broken into $600 dollars worth of damage.
I live with my grandparents and my grandma is so strict on me, I do absolutely nothing wrong, I don't go out and drink and party, i'd rather stay home with my boyfriend or have a night with the girls. My friends are good people, most of them are at uni.
My boyfriend and I have been together for just over two years. I'm 19 he's 21 in 3 weeks.
In my new job I have to study for it. I have a computer at home but it's easier for me to use a laptop so I could study quietly in my room so my boyfriend lent me his.
We plan on moving in together in the next 12 months so instead of me buying a laptop he's getting a desk top computer and i'm using the laptop.
Well last night I was saving things in my memory stick so he could have all his stuff on the new computer then I cam across conversations between him and all these other girls.
Ok mind you the conversations were two years ago just as we got together but they were dirty conversations with other girls and some of them even said um you have a girlfriend and his response was what goes on here stays here.
I was hurt although they happened a long time ago it was hard to read something like that from someone you love so much. At that stage he was sweeping me off my feet and tell me he loved me for the first time.. why was he still talking to these other girls...??!
I confronted him about it and he said they meant nothing and that none of the convos went any further then that.. where has my Mr Perfect gone?
Am I over reacting because they were a long time ago..?? I guess it was just a shock to see that side of him.. I have never seen that dirty side of him... never!
Could he have just been after a bit of fun because I wasn't there? But then again that's still no excuse right??
I live in a small town so I know who all these other girls are.. I guess I just feel embarrassed becaue those girls knew that I was with him and he was still after more.
Now back then, I was still at school.. As I said my grandma is very strict so I want only allowed to see him on the weekends.. We did only just get together.. about a month before those convos started.
Should I give him credit for waiting for me or be mad at him for disrespecting me?
I'm tired of being miserable.. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I know he loves me and I know he has always been faithful to me.
I can kind of understand if he was looking for someone else back then but I just wanted to know if it was right to be mad at him..!
Thanks guys! :)
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Sounds like quite the fix. I understand your anger, but I do not see a reason to continue to linger on it all this time later. The conversations were not recent, and you do not suspect him of cheating currently, so I suggest moving on. It sounds like you two moved awfully fast back then- maybe he felt intimidated or held down. Or maybe he was unclear of your relationship status. I have dated many men without serious commitment for several months time. You present it as if you were committed to only each other after only knowing one another a month. Maybe he thought the relationship was still open- so the both of you could still date other people and explore.
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honestly, it was! but at this point you know you have talked to m abuout it, and it doesn't need to go any farther! ask him why he did it, if its bothering you that much, but make sure that you are not being to hard! 2 years ago he was about the age you are now, maybe he was also miserable like you were! don't let it get to you! you love him, and trust him, so don't let it bother your realtionship! :D-mo
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i wouldnt be to mad i mean they were two years ago and he has changed! he sounds like a great guy and that he would never try to hurt you so dont worry about it im sure you have flirted with otha guys when you were going out with him i mean ive done it too. im not proud and i try to put myself in his postion if i found out he was doing what i was i would be super mad. just sounds like he was a having fun one night everyone does it. dont be mad at him.
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yes, you had the right to be mad because its natural to be hurt when you discover something was said or done behind your back by someone you care about a lot. however, i do think you should forgive because you guys have been together for a long time and you have no suspision hes cheating or anything..and if you have been together this long there must be something there. guys are all horny and curious at that stage..but the important thing is he isnt cheating and the nasty convos stopped.
but to answer your question..yes you had the right to be mad and to let you in on some personal info..i know how it feels lets just say that.
hope i helped
-melissa
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