asknonamecat
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: a friend of mine used to have an eating disorder. from what i've noticed, she hasn't had any trouble with it for over a year. but recently, she hasn't been eating enough. she's getting a lot thinner and is always complaining about being nauseous. she says she's trying to gain weight, but she could just be saying that. i feel inclined to talk to her parents so we can get her help, but i don't know if that is whats best. i would talk to her about it, but i know if she really has relapsed, she definitely wouldn't tell me. earlier today i asked her if she wanted something to eat and she didn't use her usual excuse of "i'm nauseous, maybe later" she just said "maybe later, i'm fine for now" which is just her claiming to not be hungry. but she hadn't eaten all day and she woke up an hour prior to this. i know not all people are hungry that fast but she ate barely anything last night and i just don't want to keep watching this. should i talk to her mom? am i overreacting?
Are you still in middle or high school? If so, you can talk to a school counselor about your concerns. The school counselor will take appropriate action, including talking to the parents and/or talking to your friend.

Q: I'm 13 years ols and I have fingered myself and I have used a dildo but I need sex I need to have sex with someone because I am horny all of the time .....

I don't no what to do !
Stay in school and learn the difference between "no" and "know". Unless you are prepared for the consequences of your actions, which you are definitely not, you don't need to engage in any sexual activity. Try laying off the masturbation. The less you masturbate, the less you will desire sex.

Q: I am a 30 yr old female who is currently in a relationship with a man who is 41 yrs old. We have been together for 1.5 yrs and have known each other for 3 yrs. Our relationship is healthy. We have things in common and love each other very much. We have discussed marriage briefly and he has said that he wants to marry me. He asked me to move in to his home in January of 2009. Last year in July I told him that I would not consider moving in with a boyfriend again unless I was engaged. I want to do things right and I am having doubts about moving in with my current boyfriend in January since he has yet to propose. I can't help but look at his past realtionships... He was with a woman for 9 years and a woman for 3 years and never proposed to them. I have asked him in the past as to why, and he said that they grew apart and he never really loved the 3 year realtionship partner. So what makes me different? Should I not move in with him until I am engaged? Most importantly, how do I approach this subject? Thanks
What makes you so sure that a proposal guarantees that he loves you or that you won't grow apart? An engagement is just as easily ended as a relationship.

Q: I've been trying to switch to more natural products lately, and was wondering about natural toothpastes, like Jason or Tom's of Maine.

Does anyone know how effective natural toothpastes are at preventing cavities, reducing plaque, etc.? These toothpastes are generally not approved by the ADA (American Dental Association), but even so, are they just as effective as a conventional toothpaste like Colgate? And for anyone who's tried a natural toothpaste, any comments? Thanks!
They are not sweetened, so it's hard to take, but they are just as effective. The ADA would rather poison you with fluoride, which is exactly what you don't want. I prefer melaleuca products which are sweetened and contain tea tree oil.

Q: well i dont live wit my mom anymore. i live with my aunt so i want her last name. can i do that? im 15 and my aunt will come with me to do it. does it cost money?
The only means by which you can legally change your name is with the permission of your legal guardian.

Q: hi i am a 17 year old girl going on 18 soon, i am quite sporty as i do a sport called MGA( mounted games assosiation) its to do with horses. but i need to get in to shape a little more as i feel i am a bit over weight, i am 5'5 and i weigh 9 an 1/2 stone but i am also a 30 G breast size and i think that this may have something to do with me feeling a bit unhappy with my weight.
can you please put my mind at rest or do i need to go on a diet?
1 stone= 14 pounds
So
9.5= 133 pounds
Your BMI is 22.1, Which is dead middle of normal range for your height and weight.
You are not overweight, but you may feel as if you are overweight because you have rather large breasts. Your breast size can limit the sports activities you are involved in. I would suggest wearing a reduction bra.

Q: Hello, I'm 16 female and I had my period and the beginning of June and then about 5 days after I begin leaking a dark color, but it only lasted about 2 days. and then after another 4 or 5 days it started again and only lasted a few days. and It happened once again. And now it is july 13 and I haven't actually I don't think have had my period and the weird stages of bleeding have stopped. I did have sex in mid July, but we used a condom and he pulled it out when we did have sex. We do fool around and he cums, but I can't think of a time when I could have gotten any on me. so I was just wondering if this has happened to any one and what it may be. So please any advice is welcomed!!
Teens, and especially, sexually active teens, tend to have irregular periods that may skip a month or two, be light one month and heavy the next etc. I do not know what the exact date was that you were expecting your period this month, but, if two weeks have passed, it would be in your best interest to take an at home pregnancy test. While condoms are largely effective, sometimes they break, or the manufacturing process can leave a hole in the latex smaller than the eye can see. Pulling out is largely ineffective because pre- come still contains semen and thus you can still become pregnant from this method of birth control.

Q: Ok, so does anyone know what the average GPA is that is required to get into big colleges(NYU, UCLA, ect..)? And what about SAT scores? Sorry, but I really want to get into NYU, UCLA, or the University of London. Thanks!
Average GPA/ SAT score required for enrollment at
NYU: NYU does not utilize numerical cut-offs when we evaluate applications for admission.
UCLA: Your academic and personal achievements are considered in the context of your educational circumstances, with an emphasis on the opportunities or challenges presented to you and your response to them. Because our admission process is comprehensive as well as holistic, no single attribute or characteristic guarantees the admission of any applicant to UCLA.
University of London: Each College sets its own entrance requirements.

Q: When somebody is growing up they always say their parents tell them the story of the birds and the bees. My parents dont even know this story, and I hit puberty early. I wuz a little girl and I had just had my first family life class and all the girls came out talking about "the talk of the birds and the bees" so asked my parents to tell it to me *funny i know* and they had no clue.
Could somebody please tell me the story?
It's just an expression dear, there's no actual story about the birds and the bees.

Q: i'm 17, i'm a guy, i've never been kissed, i've never had a girlfriend, i really don't have any kind of friends, i have speech problems, i've got social disorders, my face is a wreck, i don't leave my room because my face is a wreck, i hate 95% of the people in my school, i hate society and the nature of human beings, my life is trash and i'm completely nonexistent in the world. thats not the worst part though. the truth is, i really am one of the nicest kids you will ever meet when i'm not having to battle with my social problems and i'm a good looking kid too when i don't have acne. when i was acne free girls that i never met before told me that i look like johnny depp's twin but the acne won't go away and it has alot to do with me wasting away my high school years. over the last few months i had been talking to amazing girl and getting kind of close with her. seriously, she's better than anything i could have drawn up. she loves metal, in fact metallica, pantera, and tool are some of her favorite bands, she's got dyed black hair, wears black all the time, she's quiet like me, absolutely perfect but recently i messed that up completely. any color i had in my life has faded away and gone and i find it hard to believe that i can get it back. does anybody have any answers for me? i don't know where you would possibly start butany advice would be helpful.
You're 17 and you have the rest of your life to worry about girlfriends and kissing. High school might seem like the appropriate time, but honestly, most kids your age are too immature to engage in appropriate relationships at that age. And, if you're being honest about the social disorders you have, you should focus on yourself and stabilizing those rather than worrying about girls.
The acne happens the almost everyone your age and gets worse with stress. As you get into your 20s it will probably start to go away with fewer break- outs. Try washing your face 2 to 3 times a day with a good face wash- that will help with the basic problem.
"i hate 95% of the people in my school, i hate society and the nature of human beings, my life is trash and i'm completely nonexistent in the world."- This is the bane of many a teen's existence. In a few years you will probably figure out that you didn't like the kids at your school just because you didn't want to have to bother with socializing. Hopefully you will come up with a few worthwhile reasons for not liking society and the nature of human beings, otherwise you're just copying off the masses. And, well, your life doesn't have to be trash. Take control, do what it is you need to do and get on with life. You're not non- existent to the world, you probably just wish you were.
And this girl? She's not the last girl who will ever amaze you, and it's probably not the last time you will screw up things with a girl. The color isn't gone, you just won't allow yourself to see it. There are other things in life than girls, time to wake up and pay attention. As soon as you realize that you're wasting your life because of some teenage mistake, you will see the color again.

Q: when i get horny on my period, what am i supposed to do? like, i cant get any from my boyfriend and i dont want to stick my fingers up there. what can i do? i can't buy a dildo.
Masturbate in the shower or bath, or rub your clit to orgasm instead of penetrating yourself with your fingers. Although, honestly, it's only blood if you do masturbate in bed- it washes off. And tell your boyfriend to wear a condom- again, it washes off. Safe sex during the menstrual period is healthy.

Q: why do guys like bj's so much. what's wrong with a simple hj, its the same thing minus the spit. or does it feel different, i dont know i dont have a dick. someone please tell me why bj's are so much better
Blowjobs are much more similar to being in the vagina- a warm moist environment. The handjob cannot manipulate the penis as fully as a blowjob can. However, many men do not gain any enjoyment out of either the handjob or the blowjob.

Q: I am a virgin but I have given and recieved oral sex but when guys go to finger me i freak out, why do i do this and is it gonna hurt that bad?
You probably "freak out" because you know you are not prepared for what is about to happen. By the sound of it you are too young to be engaging in sexual activities, including oral sex. No, fingering doesn't hurt when done correctly. But, I cannot promise you that it will not hurt when done to you if the person you are with is not experienced or does something wrong.

Q: Okay there's this guy and he's 17 and he likes a girl thats 15 and he doesnt like me because im 14! I dont really understand! Why do people think there is such a BIG difference between them? It really makes me mad. Everyone always says im too young and when they see a 15 year old thats only a year older than me well they say no shes not that young but you oh no you, you are a year younger and thats way too young for sex or even making out! Oh my god you do not know how much this makes me mad! I've been waiting forever to grow up and nobody respects me because Im so little and i have sorta a baby face so they just all think im young and they think my cuz thats 15 is sooooooo much older than me and she's not she's a year and like 3 months!
Well, All three of you are too young for sex.
While there's only a year's difference between fourteen and fifteen, people do a lot of maturing in that one year. As they do between fifteen and sixteen.
Two and three years is a big difference in age when you are that young because of maturity issues.
So... simply put, he probably likes her because she is more mature than you.
That's my best guess. Even if that's not why, he still likes her, and not you, so best to focus your attention on someone else and stop rushing this growing up business.

Q: Im not sure if this category is best fit but it works.

I am 15/f and my friend is 15/m.
Although we are young we would like to help out children who have been abused and havent had the lifestyle we have been lucky to experience.

So my question is.. On Thanksgiving and such. How old do you have to be go volunteer at a shelter such as serving food ; cleaning up ; working with the children.

And... Are there any other things we can do other than donate clothes and such to help out?

We are in the Pehlam MA area.
Try volunteering at a nursing home. I have been since I was 11 (21 now) and it is one of the most rewarding things I do. Many of the people I work with do not have families who are interested in seeing them, or their families live too far away to come see them. A friendly, familiar smile is just what they need.- Someone to talk to, someone to thread their needle for them, paint their nails, help them play bingo- that type of thing.

Q: I am going to attend University of Eastern Shore for my first year. I am also going to be living in a dorm. Are there going to be like co-ed bathrooms, wild parties, and just really random and awkward things going to happen while living in a dorm. I heard living in a dorm in college can be really fun. But I also heard that like people video tape themselves having sex with or without the permission of the other person. Also that there are wild parties. Is this true? Um also what is the diference between a Delta and an AKA???
I assume you mean Delta Sigma Theta although you could also be referring to Delta Zeta, Delta Gamma, or Kappa Delta. In my region, I have found that Delta Sigma Theta has a better reputation than Alpha Kappa Alpha and as such is more impressive to employers on applications. However, you should base your application on what you desire in a Sorority, and on past actions by that sorority. For example, if the Delta Sigma Theta chapter at your university has a record for disorderly conduct etc, you may not want to join.
While individuals or sororities/ fraternities may throw the occasional party that may get out of hand, you are not likely to see any of these at your dorm. Usually these parties are thrown with the intent of being large, but not necessarily out of control or wild. At my university the university makes it a point to throw a university sponsored party or two a month to keep things fun for students and safe.
I don't know where you picked up the idea that individuals enjoy videotaping themselves engaging in intercourse, but, I'll tell you this- Some people like it, some people don't. It's not just limited to universities, and isn't a university fad. Taping people without their permission is illegal (especially if they are nude). If you find yourself in this situation, there are campus police readily available.
Some universities offer co-ed bathrooms, most do not though. Likely yours is not one of them. Women will have their own bathrooms to shower etc in, and likely women will either have their own dorm buildings or own floor within a dorm.
Living in a dorm is fun and being worried about it is perfectly normal. After your first few days though, you will be fine. Most universities impose rules about visitation hours etc that keep awkward situations from occurring. It's unlikely anything horribly awkward will happen to you.
You might drop your books, fall down or up the steps a time or two, have a bad hair day- that type of thing. But finding a nude man outside your dorm room door (refer gilmore girls)- not likely.

Q: does eating a lot of sweedish fish have a laxative affect? like will it give you diarrhea? thanks!
First, let's correct something said by another person: Fiber is not the only thing that affects your stools.
Second, How much is a lot? Swedish Fish contain white mineral oil, which, when taken in in large quantities can have a laxative effect.

Q:
i'm so scared of needles , i can't stand to see one on t.v and i couldn't dare try to look why someone is giving me one.

anyways, i'm going to get a cervical cancer shot , i was wondering where they would give me the shot, like on my body? also how often to you have to get them. thanx


:O :[
I've had my cervical cancer shots- it's over in a flash. You get the shot in your upper arm, either left or right, it doesn't matter. You will receive three shots total, with two months in between each shot (this is the rate at which the producer is releasing the shots). After those three shots you won't ever need a shot for cervical cancer prevention again. Since you are scared of needles, I suggest you look away when they give you the shot, close your eyes, and if you tend to clench your teeth, take a washcloth or something similar with you to bite on.

Q: ok, just wondering, does penis size have anything to do with weight?

because I've noticed that for the most part, guys that are much more fit, tend to have larger penises...
so, is there any connection?

thanks! =)
It's a total optical illusion thing. The more fatty tissue a man packs around abdomen and thighs, the more likely it is that his penis will SEEM to shrink. Men who have been overweight most of their lives and then drastically lose all that fat sometimes think that their weight loss gave them a larger penis. Actually, it's the same size, there's just no longer any fat in the way.

Q: ok so i got hot pink nail polish on a pair of while and blue shorts how do i get it out???? do i use nail polish remover with pure aceatone(i think thats how you spell it) or none at all???? please help these are like my favorite shorts
thnks a ton!!!!
peace out
This one will sound odd, but saturate the area you got the nail polish on with Off Skintastic (yes, the insect repellent), scrub it with a toothbrush (you should see the stain lift), and then wash the shorts.

bio
nonamecat
Nihilist. Pessimist. Realist.

Info
Gender:
Female

Location:
Kentucky

Occupation:
student

Age:
21

Member Since:
June 9, 2007

Answers:
129

Last Update:
August 21, 2012

Visitors:
11813

Main Categories:







layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker