|
best friends ex boyfriend? fair game?
ok so heres how it went.
my bff is kind of spoiled and high strung. she has mega high expectations for guys.
anyways..she was going out with this guy thats sooo nice and cute and just the perfect bf for her cause he was nice and she was a bitch and they "completed eachother".
but then she broke up with him because she said he was to clingy. like a week after that me and her ex started talking and i told him i was sorry about what my bff did to him and we just started to talk and now i really like him and im pretty sure he likes me too.
so is it ok to date him? my bff doesnt know we've been talking to eachother. what should i do should i act on it or just break it off? should i tell my bff?
any answers great.
thankyou
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
ok i have actually been in quite a similar situation before, except i'm the guy that it happened to.
so she broke up with him because "he was too clingy." that's bullshit. if you're gonna date someone then you spend a lot of time together. otherwise it's bound for disaster.
anyway back to my answer. my girlfriend broke up with me for the same reason. at first i was kind of hurt, but then i realized that we kinda just didn't work out.
two months earlier, i had met one of her good friends. we were still going out, but i immediately liked her. a lot. and it was obvious that she felt the same way (and she tells me now she did). i never told anyone this because i thought it was just a crush, nothing too big. we became pretty good friends.
two weeks after we broke up, i asked this friend to a movie, and later that night i asked her out. our relationship is absolutely amazing, and saturday is our three month anniversary.
unfortunately, as soon as the girl that broke up with me found out that we were going out, she immediately started acting like my new girlfriend (who, mind you, was her friend) wronged her for going out with her ex. she actually hates me (and my lovely girlfriend) now.
now, after all this back story, here's my answer:
act on it. see if he wants to go out with you. if said bff doesn't think it's right, screw her. she dumped him. it's not her place to say that you can't because she obviously doesn't care about this guy anymore.
i would advise telling her, though, before you act on it. if you don't she might feel even more hurt that you wouldn't tell her.
hell, she might not even care that you go out with him. but it's not right for her to care anyway; she dumped him. it's her problem she lost a guy that cared that much about her.
]
I hate it when girls treat their boyfriends like crap that treated them so well, and claim them as still theirs after SHE breaking up with him. It's not wrong what you're doing. It IS ok to date him but your friend might have a problem, pretend she doesnt care and actually do, or not care at all. You should talk to her. If she has a problem with it, you should ask her if she still has feelings for him and if she didnt there is no reason for him to be "off limits." She IS your bff so you should listen to her and how she feels unless you want to lose her. I mean, do you really want to be a part of a whole love triangle? First see if it's all worth it, and THEN do whatever you want and feel is right.
]
I think you should go for it. She broke it off with him so there shouldn't be any reason for her to get mad at you.
If he is clingy and your happy with that then there shouldn't be any reasons why you shouldn't go for it.
If she does get mad at you then try to get her to understand it from your point of view. She dumped him then you became friends and eventually had feelings for each other. It wasn't like you were out to get him while your friend was dating him.
But you didn't say how long they were going out for.. if it was only a short period of time then that should be fine. But if they were together for a long time well then I would leave it for a while. She could have at one stage been 'in love' or had a lot of feelings with this guy and it might hurt her to see you with him.
But your friend also needs to understand that she just can't dump people because they are too clingy. She knows she's got it perfect for herself so she's taking advantage of that. Perhaps you should have a girlie friend talk and make her understand that guys are human... just like us. :)
Hope I helped and good luck!
]
the best thing to do in this type of situation, almost always, is to TALK TO YOUR FRIEND. find out if she still likes him, how she would feel about you being with him. after a week, i'm guessing she won't be too happy but you never know unless you talk to her. not talking to her and just trying to get with the guy will just cause problems and she'll most likely be mad. so talk to her about it, even if you don't get what you wanna hear, trust me it'll be better that way.
hope i helped :)
]
More Questions: |