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Depression
14/f
Hey. Basically Im depressed. About my whole life. I have different issues like school work and guys and i really do not want to go to an adult about this. I dont know if im really depressed or am i just bored. Like i havent had a boyfriend since october. I really dont know, i should be very happy right now because i won this contest, but im not. I cry everyday, and nothing big happened that i should be depressed about. I mean there are little things but seriously im so confused right now and i realy need help. I do talk to my friend but she has no adivce cuz shes going through the same thing. Please help
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
what you need to do hun is a get a decent size group of friends, (girls/or boys) and all hang out. believe me being with friends and stuff and being able to laugh takes a lot of stress out. you don't wanna stop hanging with your friends now, and be alone all summer, because you can get even more depressed and that's not good.
go to the movies, or pool, or something & make sure you don't get upset! keep yourself talking, and going, and continue doing this. you don't need a boyfriend it's summer! (:
this has happend to me before - it sucked. i constantly cried because of everything. get excited about winning that contest! obvisioly you did something good, BE PROUD. and your friend - make her feel comforted too.
good luck!
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Don't worry sweety, I went through the same thing! You do sound a little bit depressed, but not too far into it. When I was depressed, my grades went down & I thought I was some hideous girl who didn't know how to deal with her life. But the only reason I thought I was hideous was because I didn't have a boyfriend. I was depressed because the most popular girl in school, auditioned for a TV show & got the part & I wanted to be an actress, then I realized my "friend" only wanted me for his own sexual desires & I heard he was at the movies the other day with a whole bunch of other girls. I was crushed. Then my best friend turned the whole school against me! And when I got mad she told me she'd kill herself if I wasn't her friend even though she put me through so much. My grades went down, I had a weakened relationship with everyone around me & I began to alienate them all. I thought my whole life was falling apart. But then I realized, you only see things negatively when you choose to. In other words, you have control of when to be happy again! I talked to my mom about my depression, & she told me that all my cousins went through the same thing when they were my age. & It was my turn. It's a phase that everyone goes through around 13-16 because it's part of growing up. Hang in there, hun. It'll be okay, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! When I was feeling this way, here's what I did.
Step 1) Let the pain hurt. You HAVE to let it get to you, it's the only way to forget about it. That "friend" of mine who only wanted me for sex I was telling you about, transferred so I was really upset. I had dreams about him coming back to the school & all I did was avoid him. Weird, huh? Then later I found out that my dream was because I was ignoring the feelings I had about him, I cried off and on for a few weeks then I was totally over him.
Step 2) Write it all down. I write depressing poems, that's why my username is Depressed_poet. I write sad poems or stories I've been through that aren't the happiest, then I look back and I'm able to say, "Wow, I'm glad I got that outta me. I feel so much better, not that sad anymore." You'd be amazed at how much just writing things down or talking to someone can help.
Step 3) Think positively. No matter how many times you ask yourself, "Why am I so sad?" because you can't figure it out, you'll end up resultless. Because the truth is, there really is no particular reason, everyone goes through this phase. So don't worry, you don't sound too depressed. Exactly what I went through :D
And don't worry, because you can get yourself back again :]
If my advice doesn't help you, talk to an adult. I know you don't want to, & I didn't want to either but you'd be surprised at how much they know. And shockingly, they DO understand! & Since your parents are the ones with the least influence over you at your age, it's important you try to stay close to them. They can help you get therapy or medicine prescribed if it's too severe. But I don't think it's anything to worry about. Nothing you should lose sleep over after talking :)
Hope I helped you!
With Love,
Depressed_Poet
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I used to feel like this all the time, and it's completely normal. School, work, and guy problems, combined, is a lot to handle. And you might feel hopeless about life, like nothing's ever going to get better. I've been there, and I think the majority of people have too. Chances are, it may seem like noone else feels the way you do, but most people just hide it. You're not alone.
Grades 7-10 are and will be the hardest times of your life. For one, the work starts to get harder and expectations for school get higher. That's why 8th and 9th grade can be especially stressful. There's really not a lot that you can change about that, you just have to try to "break" school into pieces. Focus on getting one assignment done at a time, and don't overwhelm yourself trying to get a million things done in 5 minutes. Yep, school may seem horrible now, but once you get the hang of it, later in highschool, it gets easier to manage.
I tell people this all the time. You don't need a boyfriend to make you happy. I was single for a whole year, and every time I am single, I always think that I want a boyfriend. Then when I get one, I am completely miserable and want to break up within a week. It's not that big of a deal if you don't have a boyfriend right now. When you're 14, it's not really worth it because nothing lasts at that age. Besides, boys aren't really mature at that age either. It's better to wait until you get further into highschool. Actually, even having a boyfriend in highschool doesn't matter. You have your whole life to find a guy you really like. It's all about what you're comfortable with and if you are truly happy having a boyfriend. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with you. It's the boys. So if you can't find one you like, enjoy being single, or make up a fake one if you really want one. (Haha...I've done that many times.)
The little things in life are what matters the most! Noone's life is perfect, and if anyone seems like that, then they're obviously sweeping all of their problems under the rug and ignoring them. Of course your life isn't going to be wonderful right now, because you're only 14 and you can't do much. Try not to see life as "all or nothing." This means, don't think you're a complete failure because your life isn't perfect. Try to think of any good things about your life. You have friends, a family, maybe a house, maybe a pet, a bed to sleep in, food to eat. See, a lot of people don't have that so you should appreciate the things you DO have instead of what you DON'T have. Find a reason to smile every day. It may be the littlest thing, like winning a contest, but it doesn't matter as long as it can make you happy for that day. The other day, my mom told me that I was starting to look taller, and that made me really happy. If you can just find one reason to be happy every day, you will be a lot better off.
You probably are a combination of bored and depressed. You might be depressed BECAUSE you are bored. And it sounds like you need more than just my advice. Try starting a journal if you don't already have one. When it feels like noone will listen to you, your journal will. It could be a paper journal or, I have started to write my journal in a Document Writer Program on the computer. (Such as Word Processor, Word Pad, or Microsoft Word.)
You just have to realize that life WILL get better. It is not going to be like this forever because everything changes over time. In a year or two, everything could be totally different. You just have to stay positive about what the future could hold for you.
Sorry this is so long, but if you ever need to talk, I'm here! :]
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Im not really sure how to answer this, I mean I was depressed when I was a teenager, Sometimes going to an adult is the best answer there is. I know thats probebly not what you wanna hear but I would go talk to an adult you trust. I dont wanna give you the wrong answers but it might be something other then depression, so seriously I would talk with someone you trust.
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If you are spending a lot of time crying every day and feel down for no apparent reason that's not right. You could in fact be clinicially depressed. In that case you need adults to help you even if you don't want them around because it can get much worse.
Talk to your parents, your guidance counselor, teacher or an adult you trust in confidence about the way you have been feeling. these adults can either talk to your parents for you by saying "I've noticed a change in your daughter with her moods and being upset a lot. I would like it if you spoke with her as she may be depressed."
Your parents would then take you to your family doctor for their opinion and then you would be referred to an psychiatrist who would diagnose you and perhaps put you on medication to make things better for you.
In the meantime document your thoughts, feelings, how your mood is in a diary and keep it close by. Especially record dark thought down or spikes in mood as that could be sign of a mood disorder too. Present that to an adult you trust as evidence something's up and they'll get you treatment.
As for boys be patient you'll meet someone. Don't push too hard for a relationship as it will happen when you were'nt looking. as for your friend she tries to help the only way a 14-year-old or 13-year-old knows how. She's just as unsure about her ownself as you are about you.
Definitely, find an adult you trust and talk to them. They won't judge you but in this situation you need adult help only and perhaps professional help too if you really are depressed.
You have to also consider too that puberty which you are going through causes mood swings especially in girls every so often because a lot is changing and hormones are wonky. If you find yourself being unhappy usually towards the end of the month before or after a period or during it could be related to that and pre-menstrual sysmptoms.
For now though, take no chances here, write down how you've been feeling each day and if you're having dark or scary thoughts too and what has been making you upset and approach an adult and get things checked out. You'll feel better for doing it.
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I don't think you're depressed. But, you're heading down that road. Don't panic, though. I think all you need is to change your perspective a little.
No Boyfriend? Enjoy it! You can flirt with whoever catches your eye. You can be friends with guys and learn a whole new pespective on life. Seriously, once you've got guy friends who will talk to you about everything and anything... you think about life differently. Once you stop WORRYING so much about having a boyfriend, life is so much easier. You're not checking out every guy that comes your way, thinking OMG MY HAIR OMG DOES HE LIKE ME?! You appear a lot mroe confident- and confidence is attractive in ANYONE.
Little things can add up and become something big. I know this from experience. I dealt with a lot of shit all at once; my mom was in the hospital/psych ward being treated for depression, and this was about 3 months after she had two major surgeries. Once I got over this, two relatives died within 5 months [one was my grandfather]. Stuff happens in life, and you're going to have to get used to it. It's hard to do this once something actually happens, but you HAVE to believe that everything will get better. Tell yourself that all the time.
Tell yourself everyday that life is good- even if that morning, you don't quite believe it. There's a bright side to everything. Your life is better than you may think; you've got friends, you're healthy, and you've got your whole life to live.
Get a hobby, start an exercise routine. Anything that shifts your focus into something to better yourself will be extremely beneficial. And take your friend along too- she could benefit as well. If nothing helps, though, consider talking to an adult, like an uncle or aunt you trust, or even an older cousin or friend's sibling. Someone else's perspective can really help.
I apologize if my answer is too long- rate me down if it was :). But I hope I helped you, and feel free to ask me anything if you wanna talk. AIM= lauraxomichelle
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