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Talking to my Parents - Rules
15/f (16 in a week, Grade Ten)
So, I'm getting older and I want more freedom. In the past I've always just lied to my parents if I wanted to go out late, but I want them to know where I am. I am responsible, I get straight A's in school and I 'never get in trouble' - or so they think.
I have never in my life asked if I'm allowed to go to parties or drink, and I'm too afraid to ask.
Should I just wait out the rest of being young, and wait until I move out to party and have fun? Why might I be so worried about asking my parents if I'm allowed to go out, anyways?
I know I'm responsible enough to handle myself (and I have on several occasions), but they still are my parents and I don't want them to worry about me. Please help, any advice is appreciated. Thanks! =)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
You sound torn between being a party girl with friends maybe because of peer pressure and wanting to fit in, BUT, love and respect your parents and concerned about them.
Go with the loving and respecting your parents with justified concern.
You are a better daughter than most and I hope they realize and appreciate you.
Since you said you make excellent grades and haven't been in trouble, you are in an excellent "bartering" position to barter with your parents.
You are too young at 15 to be out too late and to drink alcohol because of the severe consequences of drinking, i.e. getting drunk and doing something stupid, etc.
So forget the alcohol to avoid any trouble and risk blowing your chance for more freedom. Once you get caught drinking and getting into trouble, your freedom will be taken away entirely.
Talk with your parents as a family, maybe at the dinner table over supper one night, and tell them since you make straight A's and don't get into trouble, (name all your good points) and are now 15, you'd like a little more freedom to stay out later extending your curfew, go to friend's parties, and have the opportunity to do more things.
I'm sure they will compromise with you for more freedom.
Even if they don't extend your curfew as long as you'd really like, compromise on it. Let's say your curfew now is 11pm. You want it to be 2am on a weekend, but they feel that's too late. Then compromise on 1am. That's 2 hours more than you originally had.
That's compromise.
If they haven't allowed you to go to parties, then ask. You might not get to go to all of them, but going to more than you have been allowed is more than you had to begin with.
Do not talk to them about drinking as no parent will condone under age drinking. And do not drink at these parties. If you feel out of place by not drinking like other friends, then drink an iced drink from a cup/glass where no one will know it's a soda and not alcohol. You don't have to have a beer can or beer bottle in your hand to be hip.
Take the compromises your parents give, obey the rules and curfews, stay out of trouble and as time passes proving yourself to them, they will soon extend the curfew to a later time and allow you more parties, more freedom and more dating.
Don't screw it up or you can loose it all.
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I'd say wait. I didn't touch a sip of alcohol without my parents being around until I moved away to go to university. It doesn't mean I missed out on any fun; I had tons of fun just hanging out with my friends doing more innocent things.
Just be honest with your parents about what's happening. If you're going to a party where there's going to be drinking, promise them that you won't drink... and follow through on that promise. It'll show them that you can be trusted.
Don't worry about going partying and drinking, because it's not an essential part of being a high schooler. Enjoy your youth while you can!
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Just ask if you can go to a friends party! Start off smaller; dont say you want to go clubbing or anything; just ask if you can go to parties at your friends house; that way they know where you are; and can get in touch with parents. Then once they can trust you with that; start mentioning group outings to places; like out of town, or to the movies at night; keep going farther and farther, but not too quick; and just enjoy the freedom you do have, without the freedom you dont have making you miserable!!
Charming Ashlie
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I wouldn't suggest telling them that you go to parties, you can tell them who's house your going to be at, where its kinda located, and you have some good friends with you. If you have a cell phone let them know they can reach you at any time. I don't understnad why you would want them to know you party.... Parents are always going to worry about their children no matter the circumstance. You could maybe call and check in 4 hours or something. Sorry if this didnt help, I didn't understand the question fully
<3 trixi
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