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ummm uncomfortable
My friend hasnt admitted that shes a lesbian OR bi but me and my other friend are always freaked out because she gets really touchy feely & says she wants to have sex with us and were so hot/sexy/cute. I do this jokingly with my friends too but to a point...She actually seems serious about it. She'll say "Its so cute when you wear your hair down" and she wont say "LOL." Im not a homophobe, Im just not a lesbian. Im 100% straight, straight, straight! And I dont know WHAT to do..I cant just stop being her friend - shes nice but she gets so weird.
Also, I have kind of confronted her about it. When she does it Im just like "Ok, are you a lesbian or something..." And shes like "noo!!"
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The problem here is that you are confronting her about the wrong thing. Being a lesbian isn't the problem, and if she is, and there is no guarantee she is.
So don't confront her about her sexuality, it's not the problem and none of your business, talk to her about the real problem: The way her behavior makes you feel.
Next time she crosses the line, tell her seriously and calmly "I know you are just trying to be funny/nice, but you make me really uncomfortable when you say that." You don't need to tease her and don't accuse her, you just need to let her know, immediately after she does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, that you aren't cool with it and that it crosses the line.
Honestly though, I think straight people put a bit too much stock into the flirtations of your gay cousins. We know you are straight! We know it'll never happen! We just think you are pretty anyways and want to tell you so! So do try and take what she says as innocent compliments, because it's likely meant that way. Of course, when it does make you uncomfortable, speak up.
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Hi.
Best thing to do here is to just be honest and ask her to stop saying things like that to you because they make you feel uncomfortable. :]
From the comment you made about the 'LOL' I am guessing you talk to her over some kind of IM program too. When she does say something like that then that might be the best time to ask her nicely to stop because it makes you feel uncomfortable when she does that. It should hopefully solve the problem and that way you don't have to stop being friends with her.
Some people are just laways touchy feely I guess (seen it before) and it doesn't really mean anything at all. Same with the joking around about being gay/bi I do that with my mates all the time (and vice-versa). I think one of my mates girlfriends was very taken aback when all three of us were sitting around a table and started joking around about it - she actually looked like she was a bit shocked, hehe. We all know though it's all a joke and such so we don't take it seriously but it's just how some poeple are sometimes. All that said though it might be that she actually is gay/bi but feels she can't say (which might be understandable too). Either way though I think best thing is to just ask her to stop talking to you in that way because it makes you feel uncomfortable. :]
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Hey,
Maybe your friend's just nervous about coming out of the closet... I think she's expecting negative reactions from the circle of people around her that's why she's taking it one step at a time.
If you're 100% sure that she's a lesbo or a bi, then leave the issue..There's no need to squeeze it out of her and make her feel embarrassed or something. I'm sure the time will come when she herself will tell you.
And don't stop being her friend just because she's too nice in a gay way or too weird and feely and touchy. That's no reason to end a friendship. For the time being, you can try to bear it. If it gets too much and uncontrolled, try talking to her. Be nice and positive about it. Let her know you accept her for who she is.
My best friend's a bi - leaning towards lesboness. She's constantly commented on how hot I am, gorgeous, etc. and I kinda got freaked out, but I paid her compliments back and it all seemed normal. I guess it's a matter of trust when it comes to gay friends. To build the trust and strengthen it, stay real close to her. It'll work out miracles.
=) Best of luck.
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