|
i hate my mom more than ever
gothic 13 girl.my mom doesnt know the real me anymore because she just says all thats wrong with me then and how i dress and my friends my music my personality. she just says turn that crap off they just sing about hate when im listening to music even if their not singing about hate. my friends and clothes she still thinks im someone totally different she thinks im all preppy and wears pinks and shit and is friends with the preps. me and the preps got in a huge fight that changed alot of people a long time ago. and when my mom sees gothic kids she says they have no life. i am just about to slap her every time. i cant tell her because. she said if im ever a gothic whore shed kill me and id be grounded for life. which i am the gothic whore now i pretty much am grounded everyday and she couldnt kill me shell be charged with merder to her daughter. i put on a hoodie and jewelry then change my hair. every day for school and when i go places. im in the gothic group i now have true friends. i hate my life. how do i tell my mom in a better way i was thinkin of blowin up in her face well she does it to me i learned well she does it a usual basis. im the sneakiest of all people. im gothic so face it. get over it. help mee
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
hmm. your not really gothic. your a poser. gothic kids, don't believe in labels. i mean, wow. way to label yourself, what a way to keep you from liking anything else. have you ever tried being more yourself. then some label. don't wear just one type of clothing. go try other things, maybe.. yano some things with color. make some new friends, listen to another type of music. try things out. you cant stick to just being in that category.
wanna know what most people consider a 'goth'?
they most likely suck at school, argue with everyone, because they have no life, and are on drugs. and are mean.
is this the label you want?
do you want to label yourself, as this? do you want people to see you like that?
well, i know i would never want people thinking about me like that. and no, don't even say, you don't care. because you should.
so wonder why you said, you hate your life. your not letting yourself try anything out or be who you want. and hey, maybe you'll find out, that being 'gothic' is who you want. but you'll never for sure, inless you try everything out.
you can't keep living a lie either. dont tell your mom the truth, intill you've tried everything out. then once you have, then you should tell her, who you really are. and show her the postives about you.
i hope that helped, sorry, if i came off mean or something, but i didn't want to beat around the bush. if your open minded, you'll try those new things out.
]
write a letter, a long letter saying exactly how you feel as if you were gonna give it to your mother. then one day when the time is right give it to her. its a lot better than exploding in her face. my parents are the same way with me sometimes they cant accept who i am. so write her a letter. tell her how she ruins ur life. be truthful. most likely it will hurt her but she will end up understanding better. yelling at parents never helps it just makes things worse. tell me how it goes if you actually do it. hope it works.
SAM
]
I think you should talk to your teacher in confidence or your guidance counsellor. Why? They can talk to your mother about your confidence level and self-esteem having taken a nose-dive and ask your mother why she thinks that is?
The teacher or counsellor could then bring up who you hang out with and your physical appearance and the fact you and your friends are gret people/students that he notices dress in goth and get picked on by people who don't understand.
She will then be forced to either show how ignorant she is about things (which she is) or take his info and facts about goth and you and motivate her to research it and learn more.
She will never know you approached these people who believe it or not are on your side about how she treats you. Really, you MUST find an advocate in them or another adult who can really have it out with your mother about how she's treating you.
Do you have a therapist or family doctor you trust? They can confront her on this and the fact she's bashing you and your confidence level up against a cliff all the time.
As far as I'm concerned listen to your music, dress the way you dress and be yourself. Don't hide or cower because of this as you cannot hide who you really are and shouldn't even if she maks you.
She's from a different era (decade) and ignorant about teens today and what the music means, what goth is etc. You need to try and educate her. Find a book, articles, etc. that talk about being goth and make her a CD of your favorite artists with lyrics and put it in her purse or on her bed.
Write her a letter to go with it explaining how bad she makes you feel and how your self-confidence and esteem is low because of it. Ask her to listen to it, read the articles, research and get to know your friends and see that you're not a whore, into drugs etc.
You probably should use your teachers/counselor/therapist to confront her as well as your letter, research, music, lyrics and friends at once to show her how wrong she is and that she's judging as well as putting you down.
Kids should be appluaded by parents for experimenting and trying to figure out who they are and for developing their own identity. She needs to wake up. When other adults confront her she'll get it.
]
I answered a question written by a gothic girl your age not too long ago so some of my response I'm going to copy from what I wrote to her. I'm sorry if this bothers you, but I like what I said before and I still feel exactly the same way.
Your mom isn't handling this well, but she does have a point. She is very concerned about your FUTURE, you should be too actually.
You're a teenager. You need to start thinking about your future. It's closer than you think. People don't take goths seriously. Yeah your
mom hates it, well so does everyone else too. You will have a really hard time finding work if you plan on staying goth into your adulthood. If you're not into drugs or alcohol yet and you remain goth, the chances of you becoming so are much higher. Even though you may believe that you'd never do that, you must admit that it does come with the territory. People will think you're on drugs anyway even if you're not and that can be just as detrimental for you. If your time being goth leads you to become a drug user, that will affect your future even more in a negative way than just the way you dress and the music you listen to. While you are goth, do your best not to get involved with the drug aspect of the culture. Druggies are seriously the scum of the earth and will forever be the victims of their own obsessions. You're stronger than that.
I'm not saying that it's not okay for you to be goth in dress, music, and such, for the time being. It's perfectly fine as long as you realize that you just can't stay that way for the rest of your life and still be a successful person. I'll admit goths are pretty cool. I like the gothic culture minus the drugs. The goth look is amazing. Stay with it, but drop it in a few years. You'll be really happy that you did. Tell your mom that that's what you're going to do. She'll have a lot more respect for you and not bug you so much about things.
Other people's opinions of you are very important and define who you are more than you do yourself. It sucks, but that's how it works. If you want to spend the rest of your life "expressing yourself" you need a huge reality check. You need to make people other than yourself happy through the course of your life to get anything. Nobody's going to hire a goth. It makes the business look bad. As a goth, you'll probably only be able to get a minimum wage job if anything and minimum wage doesn't really cut it.
Talk to your mom about this maturely. Since she isn't handling it well, you need to. You are only a teenager. You are entitled to and should be able to express yourself in whatever way you want (as long as its safe) for at least 4 or so more years without getting too much crap from her. Make sure she knows you are going to change in the near future. If you, after reading all of what I said, which I hope you did, are still considering remaining goth for the rest of your life, I hope you get a clue really soon. Everybody hates the gothic culture. That's the way it is. There's no point in purposely being something that everybody hates. You don't have to change who you are inside or what you believe, just how you present yourself and how you act in public. Nobody's bashing who you are. Just how you act. People don't walk around naked, they don't crap in the middle of the street, and they don't scream "Hail Hitler" out their windows. Some people would sure like it if that's the way the world worked, but it doesn't. To succeed in the world you need to be able to succeed socially. As a goth, you won't.
I hope that you read what I'm saying to you and really think about it. I don't expect you to understand it now because you are only 13, at the peak of rebelliousness and egocentrism. I can only hope that someday, hopefully sooner than later, it'll get across to you. Please don't base your response to my advice on whether or not you liked what I said to you. Please base it on the quality of advice that I am giving to you. Whether you want to take it or not, it is probably some of the best advice that anybody will ever give you. I'm not tooting my own horn here. I've heard this advice given to girls like you many times before and when it was actually followed, I've seen it do a whole lot of good. I know it's good advice. I can only hope that I presented it in a way that you will think so too. It could be the difference from being in poverty to enjoying a great life.
]
More Questions: |