I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. It was great at first. We agrue all the time now and he gets on nerves all the time. Every little thing he does gets on my nerves. I love him and i want to be with him but i am not sure what is going on, He says that its just me, and he thinks that nothing is wrong with our relationship. Please help me.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? VisualSlacker answered Saturday April 14 2007, 5:51 pm: Guys have learned time and time again that trying to second guess/ analysis their girlfriends actions is a dangerous and foolish thing to do, (I know this first hand since it has gotten me in trouble in the past when I misinterpret it). So what your boyfriend might be trying to do is 'wait it out' in the way that he feels his input would only start more arguments and frustrations, so he hopes that you can work it out on your own, (which works sometimes, but at this point I sort of doubt it from the way you speak of it)
I suggest that if you haven't already, confront him with your worries and fears, (don't wait until you feel it's too late to deal with).
I figure whether you have talked to him about it or not, that you feel like a giant jerk for how you feel right now about things, especially if your boyfriend still loves you and you love him and feel that bring it up with him will makes things worse.
Well stop that.
Nothing will be done to possibly help the situation if you feel too guilty to be honest about how you feel to him. Right now I think he's either aware that it is that serious and is trying his best not to push you to make any rash decisions you might regret later or he is unaware of how much this truly bothers you.
I'm not going to lie, if he loves you as much as you love him, (which is still quite a bit, since you're reaching out for strangers suggestions to make this relationship work), that this is going to hurt him if he knows how serious you're taking it.
So sit down, or go for a walk, etc and talk to him about it, start a dialogue about it. Be honest about how you feel even if you know it will hurt him and for that very reason make sure that he knows you still love him because otherwise he'll think this is some half-assed break up.
Just talk to him about it. You can ask as many people as you want for help but in the end you have to realize this is a relationship you're trying to keep, which involves two people and not just you and you need to share your concerns with him and brainstorm with him some solutions.
My final advice is not to try to fix things on your own and don't end it thinking everything will magically fix itself and you can start off where you left off. Come to terms with him and how you're feeling and both of you need to come up with some possible solutions that you can both try to make this work out.
I wish I knew what exactly what things he does that get on nerves are, (which would make this answer much more proactive and I probably could come up with some more useful suggestions). At the very least, just make sure to let him know and give him at least one suggestion or two on what he can do to solve the problem.
If you really love the guy don't give up on you and him being happy together, try your best to work things out before worrying about the last resort.
Best of luck to the both of you.
(If you come up with an actually solution to this that keeps you guys together (and not just for the sake of it) let me know so I can pass it on to my now what seems ex-girlfriend who is going through something similar.)
duckyville72 answered Sunday April 8 2007, 10:30 pm: i think that you should talk to him about it. but if things really start to get real bad then you should just break up becasue you dont want things getting out of control. Plus he might not see it as a problem for so many reasons but you see it differently, maybe you could try to think about what youve done to see why he doesnt thiks its a problem, but it this keeps happeneing and you just dont feel comfortable, then you really should break up.hope i helped
Lauren [ duckyville72's advice column | Ask duckyville72 A Question ]
Diane_Delilah answered Sunday April 8 2007, 10:19 pm: sorry babe, but you're hurting him more by staying with him then just letting it go. Maybe after time it will work out but for know thats what you have to do. just make sure you tell him it was fun wihile it lasted and maybe in time to prevent a messy break. Good luck. [ Diane_Delilah's advice column | Ask Diane_Delilah A Question ]
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