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my friend is basically a whore.
okay well one of my best friends is 12. she is one of the youngest people in the 7th grade. & she's like a complete whore. she's going out with a 16 year old & she likes to make out. she has made out like 7 times. one time it was a girl & one time it was with a girl & a guy. also, these people she's making out with are 4-5 years older than her. when she was 11, she made out with a 15 year old. she doesn't think there's anything wrong with the way she's acting. i'm really getting worried about her because i don't want her to end up pregnant by age 15. she has promised me she wont do this anymore but she always talks about how she LOVES making out. its disgusting. i've seen her make out. she does it all the time right in front of me.
so i have two questions. one, is this normal? & two, what can i do to help her?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Sadly, some girls just start experiencing things much earlier these days. I cannot tell you what it is "normal" & what isn't because it's been awhile since I was your age. But I can tell you that she's going to make her own mistakes in life. It's great you are looking out for her, but she's going to do things you don't approve of. All you can do is to address her & let her know you are concerned about her actions.
You can look on the brightside of things: it's just making out. Atleast she's not sleeping around. (Knock on wood.) Now even though making out is pretty much harmless, it doesn't make it right to be doing this with much older guys. 16-17+ year old guys are not interested in 12 year olds - I can tell you that. The only reason they are hanging around is because of what she has to offer. Eventually, they're going to want more from her.
For now, you can make one of two decisions: 1.) You can find someone new to hang out with. -or- 2.) You can accept the fact that this is her & she probably won't change.
If you decide to remain friends & things get worse in the future (i.e. she's sexually active with these older guys), I think the best thing to do is tell her parents. It's probably not the solution most people would want their friends doing, but if you care about her..you can stop her from making some horrible decisions. She may hate you & never want to talk to you again, but atleast you were a friend who cared. && she may not realize that now or next week, but she'll realize it someday.
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it's just the way she is. she's a not-so-normal teenager. she sounds like she should be in highschool. but, there's nothing you can do if she doesn't care. there isn't really anything wrong with making out. she just doesn't need to go any further, and if she DOES go further, tell her parents. when she talks about how she loves it say "that's not cool.. that's weird and disgusting.. who are you trying to impress? definitley not me or any of my friends! everyone thinks that's gross.. you're really about to lose your reputation AND your life!" maybe that will change her?
Kay.. it's not like I spent a LONG time typing all that.. for a 4...
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Is it normal? I honestly can't say. I know that kids didn't act that way when I was that age, but much has changed since then. It's been 17 years since I was a 12 year old girl.
How can you help her? You can't change her. You can't make her do what is right, or what you think is right. She chooses to be this way. She doesn't care what others think of her. (That isn't a bad thing, if you ask me. I don't care what others think of me, and that has made my life happy.) Those are her choices, and it seems as though she is happy with her decisions. You can't stop that.
What you can do is watch out for her. Like the person below me said, don't let her get involved with someone 18 or older. She is only 12, and someone that old would be committing a crime to involve themselves with someone so young as your friend. In that situation, you would do like they said, tell her parents, or some other adult who can take care of the problem.
Other than that, it is her life to lead. It is her life to potentially mess up, too. If she becomes pregnant at 15, it is a consequence to her actions. We all hope that she doesn't have children at such a young age, but we can't stop it, either.
She has to want to change her behavior, and she has to change it for herself. There is nothing you could say, or that I, or anyone else, can tell you to say to make her change.
That doesn't mean you can't stop trying to convince her to stop. It doesn't mean you can't be a good, supportive friend when she gets hurt or gets herself into a situation that is well beyond her years.
Keep caring about her and hope for the best. That is mostly all you can do right now.
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Just sounds like a boy-crazy phase to me. If it's anyone older than 18, watch out. It's at little weird about the girl, but sometimes girls do that to turn guys on. There are a lot worse things than making out. Hopefully she'll get over it, if not, you might need to talk to her parents (only if she's doing things with people over 18). Mention to her that making out with lots of people makes her look easy and slutty.
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