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confused.. idk what to do
this is the conversation i just had with my boyfriend.. i dont know if he was just really stressed or like if i should take it seriously? help!
me(10:55:21 PM): what
him (10:55:28 PM): I dont know whats wrong... I cant stand this
me (10:55:34 PM): stand what
him(10:56:14 PM): School, life
me (10:56:21 PM): yeaa i know how you feel
me(10:56:34 PM): i have like soo much work to make up still from wen i was sick like a week ago
him (10:56:55 PM): There has to be an easier way
me (10:57:06 PM): what is that supposed to mean
him(10:57:23 PM): And no you dont know how i feel
me (10:57:33 PM): okay then whats wrong?
him (9:58:07 PM): i i cant stand it
him (9:58:15 PM): i think im going crazy
me(10): i know what you mean though
him (9:58:34 PM): this has to get easier
him(9:58:53 PM): for the past half hour ive been thinking of ways to kill myself
him(9:59:00 PM): maybe itd be easier
me (10:58:57 PM): **** shut up
him (9:59:15 PM): i cant stand this
me (10:59:11 PM): stoppp
me (10:59:14 PM): thats not funny
him (9:59:26 PM): its not
him(9:59:32 PM): im crying right now
me (10:59:42 PM): it it just because you have a lot of work to make up?
him (9:59:52 PM): no
me): then what
him (10:00:00 PM): i dont know
me(10:59:55 PM): just like school in general
me (10:59:58 PM): or like something else
him (10:00:15 PM): i hate how so much is always expected of me
him (10:00:20 PM): and i can never do it
him (10:00:36 PM): i hate how everytime i finish something
him (10:00:39 PM): huge
him (10:00:52 PM): that i obsess over forever
him(10:00:56 PM): theres another
me (11:00:52 PM): yea
him (10:01:06 PM): thing just like it
him (10:01:08 PM): and
him (10:01:17 PM): i cant deal with it anymore
him (10:01:34 PM): i feel like i cant make it through life like everyone else
him (10:01:55 PM): and i dont know what to do
me (11:01:56 PM): thats really weird
me (11:01:59 PM): because like
him (10:02:08 PM): i just
him (10:02:19 PM): i jus want it to be easier
him (10:02:24 PM): i wana be an actor
him(10:02:27 PM): they dont do shit
me (11:02:22 PM): i was saying something 2 my mom about that today
me (11:02:23 PM): hahah
him (10:02:34 PM): but i cant do that
him (10:02:39 PM): im not good enough
him(10:02:41 PM): i hate it
him (10:02:55 PM): i dont want to have to worry about everything all the time
him (10:03:10 PM): i just want to relax
him (10:03:20 PM): i hate life
him(10:03:51 PM): i mean
him (10:03:54 PM): all of this
him (10:03:56 PM): work
him (10:04:02 PM): i ts for nothing
him (10:04:12 PM): i want it to stop
him (10:04:20 PM): but then i think
him (10:04:21 PM): wait
him (10:04:29 PM): i have another 8 years to go
him (10:04:38 PM): and the i cry some more
him (10:04:52 PM): and wonder if itd hurt to hang yourself
him (10:05:11 PM): please
him (10:05:18 PM): dont tell anyone about this
him (10:05:39 PM): hang yourself
him (10:05:45 PM): i meant myself
me (11:05:55 PM): **** stop
me(11:05:58 PM): seriously
me (11:06:43 PM): sry it took me so long to answer
him (10:06:56 PM): its fine
me (11:06:52 PM): i was doing something
him (10:07:03 PM): please dont tell anyone
me(11:07:02 PM): about what
me (11:07:05 PM): ?
him (10:07:18 PM): what ive been saying
me (11:07:26 PM): youre not seriously thinking about that right...
me (11:07:27 PM): ?
him (10:07:40 PM): i dont know
me (11:07:38 PM): **** come on stop
him (10:07:54 PM): it would be so easy
him (10:08:01 PM): and id be in a better place
me (11:08:00 PM): thats so weird.. because today i felt like the exact same way.. but i didnt think about killing myself....
me (11:08:04 PM): its just stress
me (11:08:15 PM): okay just think about how in a week its gonna be spring break okay
me (11:08:20 PM): and you wont have anything to worry about
him (10:08:43 PM): ok
him (10:08:44 PM): ok
him (10:08:50 PM): im gunna see you right?
me (11:08:48 PM): yeah
him (10:08:57 PM): ok
him (10:09:02 PM):alright
me(11:08:55 PM): of course
him (10:09:06 PM): i feel better
me(11:09:03 PM): okay good
him (10:09:15 PM): ok
him(10:09:28 PM): now i have to stay up all fucking nighht
me (11:09:26 PM): why
him (10:09:38 PM): because ive been putting this shit off all night
him (10:09:40 PM): all week
him (10:09:44 PM): and
me (11:09:37 PM): yea i know how you feel
him (10:09:47 PM): omfg
me (11:09:43 PM): what
me (11:09:52 PM): ?
him(10:10:03 PM): I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO
him (10:10:04 PM): dsfsgalhk
him(10:10:04 PM): ad gsj l
him (10:10:05 PM): s;nroaV UAK
him (10:10:06 PM): LDF'DFL' K
him (10:10:08 PM): FOJA
him (10:10:12 PM): i hate life
me (11:10:19 PM): **** relaxx everythings gonna be fine
the **** is his name that i starred out. =]
he said a lot of other stuff too but thats just an example and i was trying to calm him down and tell him all the good things about life but i dont know if he was serious or not.. because i doubt he would ever do that to himself. i think hes just frustrated.. what should i do?
if it helps im a frosh in highschool
thanks. =]
oh p.s. later he said...
me (12:52:42 AM): are you sure ur okay?
me(12:52:46 AM): you really wouldnt do that right?
him (12:53:30 AM): Lol right im sorry for scaring you
me(12:54:10 AM): are you sure you wouldnt?
him (12:54:34 AM): Yess go to sleep
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
umm wow thats really scary to think about. I think he was just stressed, and well all crack every once in a while.
But if he didn't trust you then he woudln't have spilled it all out on you.
I'm sure taht he was just extremely stressed and jsut broke. We all do that though....we reach that point where we just can't stand life anymore. you can't tell me you've never felt like that before?
but yeah idk thats a really scary sittuation and that sucks that he kinda put you through that, but if he didn't trust and love you then it wouldn't have been you that he spilled to. and acutally lukcly you were able to talk him through this hard time, and calm him down.
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omg! first off, you should deff. not let him kill himself. i mean you are his gf! i know it's not easy and i went through this same thing with my bf. just remind him of better things in life other then school and the things he rly stresses about. maybe you should hang out with him and help him study, or just tallk to him so he can relieve all his stress.
good luck xox sammz =]
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Well,if anyone says they should kill themselves,its deffinatly serious. But in this case i think he was panicking (sp?) Just tell him "please,never say that again,because you have me,and i have you. With out you,where will i go?" and say "everyone stresses out at times,dont worry" also, offer him help,if he wants anything. and say "well,you know what your perfect at? being my boyfriend" that would make him really happy. :D you just have to keep him up,and support him. and look for signs. if i knew him well,i'd be able to answer this in a snap. but because i dont,its up to you. do you notice him act any different,towards you,or anyone else? it could mean hes fakeing a smile, and he could be depressed. but if this episode is only a one time thing,and with in about 5 days,hes back to normal,theres nothing to worry about. i really hope things get better,and good luck!!
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It looks like he's just really stressed out and is looking for attention and support. In this situation do NOT just tell him that you understand how he feels or that you are feeling the same thing. He thinks that what he is feeling is totally new and original from any sort of pain anybody has felt ever. In reality, he's totally off base. Everybody feels what he is feeling at some point or another in their lives. Just because the situation may be unique, the feelings he has are not any different from what you or I have felt before. He's having egotistical, self-centered thoughts because of the stress that he is feeling. If you tell him that his pain isn't really pain and that everybody is the same as him it'll make him feel like you don't understand him. He needs to feel understood right now to get through this, which he will. He needs to get some self-esteem, inspiration, and motivation and telling him that his problems are just like other people's, even though that's the case is going to hurt more than help. What you should do is tell him that you can't understand what he is feeling. You aren't him and you'll never be able to feel exactly what he feels. This is true in a sense, so it's not like you'd be making crap up just to make him happy. Another thing he needs is something that you did. EVIDENCE that it's not as bad as it may seem. Spring break is coming up. Pretty soon he'll be able to relax and everything will get done as it always does. You can say that it'll be over soon all you want, but if you don't back it up with evidence, you won't get too far with that, so good job. Keep doing that. Make it even less time. Have him look forward to hanging out with you or taking showers or something because during those times he can relax. There's no use worrying because it won't get you anywhere. That's pretty much straight from the Bible. If he's religious try to work that in someplace too. God gave him his life and it is the greatest gift anybody could ever receive. Even though he would be in a better place if he died, God would be disappointed that he threw away His greatest gift. He'd have his place in heaven, but he would always regret giving up his life because his place in heaven will always be there for him, while his life will be gone before he knows it and he'll wish he had been able to do so much more.
So, the next time you talk with him ask him if he's feeling better. If he says yes and he seems to be being honest, let it all go. Don't try to help him through something unless he gets upset again. Talking to him about this might make him upset again if he's already gotten over it. So, basically, save all my advice for when and if he gets really frustrated again. Until spring break though, be there for him. Don't just pretend like nothing happened. He is still in some pain even if he's gotten over the bulk of it. If you're feeling bad about something don't talk to him about it, talk to someone else. Don't make any more stress for him than he already has. If something goes wrong with your relationship don't deal with it until spring break. More stress could make his empty ideas actual ones. Right now he's not suicidal, but he's definitely thinking about it. Everybody thinks about it at times, but it's a whole different thing to actually be considering it. With more stress he may start considering it and that's when you'll have a lot of trouble. Be as nice, supportive, and helpful as you can be. If you believe that everything will turn out fine, your attitude will help him and you make this belief a reality. Good luck. :)
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Well, he's stressed and maybe you can ask him if you could help him with his work. Divide it in half. But to me, this maybe not the only thing that bothers him, there could be something else.
He said: so much is expected of him so I'm guessing people are vying for him to be perfect,and he's trying his best. But be careful this can be just him manipulating, some people use suicidal thoughts to get what they want or to get out of things they don't want to do, just like he says, to get out of school work. If he's talking about suicide, this is serious though,he needs to talk to someone,have a heart to heart with him.Talk about it more with him, see how he responds, and if it sounds like this is really serious,he needs to go to a professional counselour or a pysch. Hope this helps.
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Okkk.... So this guy is just freaking out because he has too much work...Rite? So why dont you help him by sharing his work...if you can that is... I mean if its something related to his studies then why dont you do it together? And if its something you cant share then just ask him to take a break atleast for an hour (which is not too long) and go out for pizza or something or just hang out... And yea he is just stressed out...Tell him that just because of some stupid work he cant kill himself... there are so many people who care for him like his mom, dad, sibblings and YOU!! He has to stay alive and face all problems atleast for the people who care for him... I mean tell him stuff like he makes you complete and w/o him You are nothing...
Best of luck sweetie xxxx DaRkSiDe89 xxxx
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