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I'm hurting!
I'm in love with a grown man, sometimes it feels as though he may like me too, but I can't do much about it because he's one of my teachers and I just found out he was married while overhearing a conversation he was having with someone else... he's never mentioned it to me... but I love him, and this hurts and being around him hurts and i can't stop thinking about him and he's such a sweet guy and we get along great.. i've tried avoiding him, but that messes up my whole day and I feel like shit. What can I do?
19/f
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Get over it. Love shouldn't be waisted. He's grown, married, and more mature than you are. You are young. It's difficult to move on, but you have to. Your being too gullible and your falling into pit falls. STOP. Move on! You don't need to love him. It's wrong. You need to stop. Your young...love is only a minor thing that should be on your mind now. You don't need to be married or loving a man at this moment. You can have a boyfriend but not loving. Loving is for mature people who actually know its right and now a lot about this person...more chance you won't end up in a divorce or murdered from your "mr. perfect."
My advice to you is LEAVE HIM ALONE!. He has children for crying out loud! If you were a parent, would you like your daughter crushing on her teacher? NO! Your 19...relax. It's maybe you get along great with him but guess what. YOUR THE STUDENT AND HE'S THE TEACHER. Let it go. You can still crush on him, but he isn't right for you!
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You're old enough to make your own decisions. If I was in your situation, I wouldn't really pursue him because for one, he's your teacher, and second, you're young. Even though you're over 18, it'd still be wrong for you guys to do anything.
And besides, he's married.
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well your old enough to make your own decisions but honey i know you cant help who you fall in love with beleive me but since he's one of your teachers thats not only bad for you it could screw up your whole academic and personal life including yours and his reputation also he has a lot to lose his wife and his job so think if he doesnt like you or your not sure he doesnt like you than try to leave it be i know it hurts and its hard but honey try to switch teachers and aviod him at all cost i know its gonna hurt but if you keep on going the way your gonna your gonna hurt yourself even more i know eaiser said than done but it'll be better for you in the long run and if you both feel the same way about each other and your thinking of doing something or makeing a move remeber every action has a conquence and not all things are worth it i hope ihelped and sorry so long but my inbox is always open if you need any other advice i hope it works out for the best i know love hurts but sometimes we gotta deal
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What can you do? You can find it in your heart to get over him and find someone else for yourself.
Seriously, look at it critically. There is a very very small chance that you two will end up together. He probably loves his wife and he may even have children. You don't want to be the other woman in that situation.
Figure out why you actually like him. What is it in him that attracts you to him? Maybe you're looking for mature men and because you can't find anyone who fits that criteria, you're looking towards him. Find out what traits you're looking for in a guy, use him as a base model and when you go out trying to meet guys, keep that model in mind. You should learn from this experience.
Before going out into the world, give yourself soem recovery time to get over him. You don't want to repress all your feelings for him because eventually they'll burst.
You seem like a smart girl and I bet before you know it, you'll realize that you've moved on.
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Again... I agree with Abby.
You may think it's love but I seriously doubt it. I can understand how you might mistake what you are feeling for love... Because sometimes even infatuation can feel very intense as well as painful. But whether you love him or you're just experiencing a bad case of infatuation... The hurt will pass. You will love someone else.
If you care about him at all... You will NOT initiate anything. Besides the fact that he is your teacher and could possibly lose his job if anyone found out that if you were involved... Think of his wife. You would hurt her by becoming involved with him, wouldn't you? Is that really what you want? To hurt a person you don't even know... To endanger his job as well as his marriage?
I'm a big fan of the clean break. I understand that you might not be able to do that since he is your teacher... But if you can't make a clean break, at least avoid spending time with him outside of class. I know it hurts now... But that will pass.
Focus on your school work, your hobbies, your friends... Start dating guys that are available. Chances are that once you become involved with someone else you'll realize that the feelings you have for this man aren't as deep as you initially thought they were.
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I know it sounds harsh, but you must get over him. Obviously, he's married, and there is no chance between you two, but other than that, he is your teacher. Do you know how much legal trouble that could be with even the hint that you like him? In the school system, they take things seriously. The only thing you can have with him is a friendship, so focus on that. There is no proven way to get over a guy, but to just wait it out. Going on dates and finding other guys to crush on can help you move on as well. Don't let this hurt you or stop you from enjoying yourself. It just sounds like a crush so it should be over soon anyway.
Good luck
-Abby
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