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He thinks I wasn't a virgin
Yesterday I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. I didn't bleed and it didn't really hurt (but then, I WAS drunk.) I ride horses a lot, I use tampons, and I DO masturbate. He asked me seriously if I was a virgin before that and I told him yes, but I don't think he believed me...Is there any way I can convince him?
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Hi
no i dont think there is anyway to convince him if he wants to believe you then he will. Sometimes that happens if your a virgin and you hav sex some girls dont bleed because sometimes they can pop thier own cherry by masturbating and etc. Well if you have anymore questions feel free to ask me anything!
~katelyn~
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I don't understand why he wouldn't think you're a virgin. You can tell when a girl is one. They're usually really tight. But there is no way to convince him.
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Ask him why he thinks you weren't. You can explain to him why his reasons aren't valid. Does he know you masturbate? If not, telling him may help. If he doesn't wanna play nice, you can be a little mean about it. Was he a virgin? Is he comparing you to someone else? If so, chew him out. Maybe it was just better with you because he likes you more. Maybe it was better because he is better now. Maybe it was better because you like him more than that other girl did. Plus, you're a different woman than any past girlfriends and if he doesn't like your body as much as he liked theirs, he'll never have to see it again. If he was a virgin what is he basing all this on? Nothing! If he can't get over this and he's going to hold it over your head, he's not mature enough for you at this point in your life. Seriously consider breaking it off with him. You need to know that you have his trust. A relationship without trust is never going to work out. I really hope that things get straightened out between you two. Don't give up on things too soon, but be ready to just in case. Good luck. :)
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This exact same thing happened to me. Believe me, I know that it sucks not to have him trust you but then again, maybe he just felt like you were really good for your first time!
Talk to him.
Tell him the truth and tell him that you have nothing to hide.
If he doesnt believe you, theres nothing more you can do.
<3 Good luck
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Ask him why he thought you weren't a virgin. If the answer is vague, just explain to him that tons of girls break their hymen before they lose their virginity and you probably did because horseback riding is a pretty intense activity.
If he still doesn't believe you, there isn't much else you can do other than that except reanalyze your relationship to see why it isn't ticking right.
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What?
Is he questioning your virginity?
Therefor he is calling you a lier and taking away from you something important.
The fact that you gave yourself to him. You gave him something so important, your virginity and he is questioning it.
You do not have to excuse yourself or even defend yourself. Act mad at him and make him never ever mention it.
You can also have fun by telling him he is a niddle dick every time he sais that. See if he likes that lol. Something tells me if you do so, he ll never say it again.
Do not let him take the upper hand.
Repeat
Do not let him take the upper hand.
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You cannot convince anyone of anything ever. They always will end up making up their own mind even with facts or statements like this. If he doesn't believe you you really cannot fix it.
All you can do is tell him what you told us. It's that old saying "you can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink." You cannot make him believe what he doesn't want to I'm afriad.
However, the fact he thought you were experienced is really kind of a compliment here. Also, he's believing a MYTH and a giant one at that about virginity. Girl's do not bleed all the time or sometimes not at all during sex.
The only reason they do is if their hymen is being stretched for the very first time. Most times the hymen has long ago been stretched by tampon use or masturbation. So, he's ill-informed about that and you should point it out to him it hasn't a thing to do with virginity.
You cannot prove if someone has had sex before either even by looking at genitals etc so how would he know? Take it as a compliment that he thinks you know exactly what you are doing with him. Obviously, he isn't complaining ;) You're doing something right.
You can tell him again that you were being truthful and tell him about the myth about a girl needing to bleed but beyond that if he doesn't want to believe you nobody can make him.
Also, I don't want to lecture you but please, please, please never have sex again while drunk. This is how someone can take advantage of you without your consent or you can get pregnant. I know you're with a guy you trust but even still when you are drunk you cannot make sound decisions about anything important such as sex.
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Uh, why convince him of anything? If you trust him enough to sleep with him, he should trust you enough to tell the truth. Otherwise, you're not in a good relationship. You should tell him that you were a virgin, that it's the truth, and that any further questioning will lead you to believe that he doesn't trust you and will put a serious damper on your relationship. That should be the end of the discussion.
Sabine
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well... i dont think it really matters anyway...
but i would just tell him.
Be like 'seriously...i was a virgin before we had sex, you know that right?'
but not like out of the blue...
and obviously in private.
just tell him again and if he is like 'yeah...OKAY' be like 'why would you tihnk im not?' (not rudely)
and respond to whatever he says
just stay calm with him though..
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