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Jerk Boyfriend
16/F dating a 17/m for over a year.
Today, I had plans to meet up with my mom to go look at prom dresses after school.
I told my boyfriend, "I'm not waiting for you after school" because it takes him a minute or two to meet up with me after school. But when I don't have to wait for him (I've always waited on him unless he's absent), I can get out of the school pretty fast and manage to beat the school traffic. He gets upset and starts to ignore me.
A few minutes after telling him that, my mom sends me a text message telling me she was going to check me out an hour before school dismissal. Of course, I told my boyfriend. He still continues to ignore me.
After I got home, we were IMing each other back and forth with this conversation:
Him: :-\
Me: what?
Him: what you said when i last saw you
Me: what? that I didnt want to wait?
Him: yeah, that was stupid
Him: saves you a minute and a half at the most
Me: no no, 4-5 minutes
Him: it takes me 4-5 minutes to walk about 150 feet?
Me: no, but have you seen me walk fast? Yeah, I do that when I dont have to wait.
Him: just shut up
Him: even if you were going to save time, big deal
Him: what did you need to rush outta there so fast for?
Him: that dress might sell out before you get there?
Him: doubt it
Me: to look at dresses?
Me: to beat hellacious traffic?
Him: you're ridiculous
Him: the whole thing was stupid
Him: waiting on me wouldnt have made you any late
Me: even your friend said it made sense
Him: he didnt care
Me: he said, "It makes sense", Andrew.
Him: and uh, i dont care
Him: forget what he said, it wouldnt have made a difference if you waited on me
Him: and it was ridiculous that you would argue with me about it and completely refuse to wait for me
Me: you're the ridiculous one who is currently overreacting. It doesn't matter anymore, Andrew. I checked out at 1:51.
Him: no, it doesnt matter that you checked out
Him: YOU WERE REFUSING TO WAIT FOR ME
Me: okay? So I could get out of there.
Him: that's stupid
Him: you're f***ing dumb as s**t f**k you im done good bye
He signed off at 7:42:29 PM.
What should I do?
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Hey. Well, he's way overreacting, I think. But, if you realllllyy want to be with him, you should apolagize, even though you shouldn't have to. It seems to me, if you want things to get better, you should mostlikely make the first move. Sorry about the situation ♥ Kathleen.
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Hmm. Actually if it's just a minute or two, why don't you wait for him? But really, there's no need for him to be so angry. Maybe you should've talked to him bout meeting you earlier and telling him not to dilly-dally all the time.
Don't fight bout this. You should try to see it in a more positive way. He was fed up with you cos he wants to spend time with you. And come to think of it, imagine yourself in his position. How would you feel if he told you the same thing, that he doesn't wanna wait up cos you'd delay him a few minutes? Would you have been slightly insulted? Or not?
Both of you are wrong, in the sense that
1)you are a little too uptight bout the waiting time ( come on, it's just 5 minutes? relax, it's alright. It's always like this when you meet up with people. I get that all the time)
2)he's being very petty bout it and he should've at least offered to be earlier instead of scolding you.
I'd suggest you say something like : "hey, sorry to have just left you like that. But maybe you could try to be earlier a little ok?" Do talk it out.
I don't know how your relationship works but an apology might come from him after that. In a relationship, try not to be so calculative and measure things like who should start apologising first. The person who starts apologising is in fact at the winning end cos not only does he/she get an apology back in return, but it also helps him/her to be more forgiving as well. And that's a really sweet deal. =)
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No offense, but it sounds liek he's a jerk. If he over reacts like that to something so simple than maybe you should think about finding another boyfriend. There are tons of guys who you'll probably like a lot more. You shouldn't have to waste your time with the same fight over and over again.
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Your boyfriend IS acting like a jerk. I don't think you should apologize for anything, and just let him come to his senses. Write him a note for tomorrow, and (rationally) tell him why you could not wait for him. Tell him you weren't trying to piss him off, you just had to get out of there fast and your sorry he took it the wrong way, but he has no reason to get so mad. Tell him he can come talk to you when he comes to his senses and chills out.
Im usually for communication, but when your guy is being a jerk, he needs to realize it. But try not to fight anymore. Dont give him that satisfaction.
Good luck!
-Abby
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ok well first off, i think you were wrong. U could have waited for him. He's your boyfriend right and any time u spend together is precious. A minute or two isnt gonna kill u, and y do you like getting out of there in such a rush. I know my ex was like you and basically ran out of the school like he didnt want to be seen with me or something and the face that he didnt wait was kinda hurtful. Now...the fact that he called you those names i totally disagree with! he went over the line there. Maybe he was mad. I think what you should do is calm down and let yourselves have some breathing time. Tommorow i would talk to him. Admit what you did was wrong but tell him that you dont appreciate him calling you those names, and that it was stupid to fight over something like that. Thats what i would do hun! Hope i helped and best of luck with that and on prom! :D
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