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My Parents
I dont want to call them my parents because they do not love me.They love my brothers but not me. Its not a gender thing because when my brother dropped out and did nothing they did the same thing to him. But my oldest brother Scott is the success he can do anything and it wont madder they'll still love him.Hes probably going to jail for a DWI and my parents were planning to buy him a calling card and stuff because they wont let you bring in a cell phone... my mother told my dad not to tell anyone and im joking and im like too late and my mother starts swearing and says.."SHUT UP i wish i was buying it for you" so now my mother wants me to go to Jail be punished for scott being dumb. BUT she still loves him. Both my parents call me names too bad to put on here its swears and IM sick of.. I do nothing wrong why do my parents hate me...?
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I want to answer your question, because I think you deserve some answers and you're not getting them from your parents. However, please bear in mind that I have no experience along the lines of what you're going through. I was fortunate enough to have parents who were able to love all their children equally, and they were able to show it. I'm not saying this to make you feel worse about things, just to let you know that my advice comes from someone on the outside looking in, not from someone who's been there and done that.
I've observed that there are some families where one child somehow can get away with murder and still be treated like royalty. I suspect that this sort of behavior begins early, with a baby or young child who needs a little more affection or tolerance to get by, and as time goes on the situation escalates until he's committing actual crimes and still being coddled for it.
In other words, the problem here is not you. The problem is your brother Scott who won't grow up, and your parents who enable his poor behavior. They are frustrated with him and are probably taking it out on you, because they know that if they took it out on him he'd probably do something desperate and violent. Taking it out on you is "safer" because they know you will roll with it.
You have two practical options if you want the situation to change:
(1) You can confront the situation. Choose a time when Scott is not around and your parents are not actively upset over him. You will need to approach the problem cautiously, because it will easily descend into a shouting match if you let it. It might be best to start with just one of your parents. Tell them that you feel underappreciated, that you don't think you deserve the insults and names they throw at you, and that you aren't sure that they love you. They may surprise you by responding with compassion and regret. Don't expect change overnight even if it does go well, but hope for the best.
On the other hand, they may respond with more of the same, or they may brush you off. If that happens, then...
(2) You may need to start distancing yourself from them, and growing up faster than you might ordinarily have to. Accept the fact that you may never win their approval or affection. And here's the difficult part: you will have to stop caring about what they think or how they feel about you.
Don't concern yourself with what they will or won't buy or provide for you. Ignore the inequities of how they treat you and your siblings. Live for your own purposes and work on achieving your independence, so that when you turn 18 you can walk out the door and not come back. To do this is going to require discipline and hard work, but it will also give you the sense of self-worth and accomplishment that they are sadly denying you.
Do not make the same mistake your other brother did by "dropping out", and don't let your own life slip down the tubes to "get back at them". Work hard in school so that you can graduate with a good record and then get a decent job or go to college. You must start thinking seriously about your future and how you will get there. Don't plan to rely on your parents for ANYTHING, because they may disappoint you when the chips are down.
Hopefully, you can either save your relationship with your parents or at least make it possible for it to be saved at some later time. If things keep going like they are, though, you will come to truly hate them before long and there will be no chance at reconciliation.
I hate to use a cheesy metaphor, but think of you and your parents as a pair of spinning gears. Right now, the gears are spinning out of sync, grinding and chewing each other up. You must find some way of either bringing the gears together so they mesh properly, or pulling them apart so that they spin freely - and perhaps try to bring them together again sometime in the future. But to leave the gears where they are will eventually strip them down to nothing.
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Talk to them about it. Tell them how they make you feel. If they just get mad or whatever, ask to live with another family member. Maybe an aunt or an uncle?
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No one can really tell why they don't treat you as equal as Scott. But you deserve to be treated well, not like shit. Sorry for swearing, I don't normally but this type of thing gets me so friggin' pissed off as you can probably tell. There's really not much you can do, I think you should ask to talk to them in private and say,
"Mom, Dad... I would really appreciate it if you could please talk to me about something important. Well, I've noticed that you're sort of behaving differently with me than you are with Scott. I mean, you guys are my parents & with all do respect you should treat me for who I am, I deserve to be treated with dignity just as much as any other person in the world. You're my parents & it's not thinking you don't want me. I really mean this in a respectful way! I love you and I don't want anything to interfere with us. Could we spend more quality time together? It would really mean a lot to me, if you tried." I know it sounds sappy and mushy, but they need to hear the truth. And I would hate for this to continue. You're in my prayers,
I hope everything works out!
~ <33
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