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im turnin gothic i love my friends and hate my family
my 3 aunts and my mom and evry1 thinks im going gothic~but i dont think i really am atleast not as much as most ppl~i do love black nails and most of my clothes are black~i do hate my life i only have 7 friends~im a girl my friends are 4 other more gothier ppl a prep tht are all girls and my bffs are a guy and a girl who just has ther own styles~i just feel normal when im around friends and i hate being around my family~around my friends they act like nothings different~around my family there always sayin how they hate my clothes and how i act and tellin me to stop doing different things~i love spencers hot topic and clairs~i did want red or purple tips~and every1 thinks im gothic i guess kind but my mom says shed burn my black~i do not wear all black and not even evryday~i do really act like it but i try not to around them~yes i do think i am ~most of my cousins bffs are gothic but their 18~but they said they would kill me if i did and i no they wouldnt kill me but theyd do something~dont say talk to themthere not tht kind of family they dont care wat i say i can not talk to them~srry tht im gothic but its not my falut i like the style i hate my life and evry1 cuts me down on everything~wat do i do
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Ignore them. If you like the way you dress & act, and the music you listen to or whatever, then who cares what they say. Tell them to go fuck themselves. They should be accepting you, but if they can't do that, then that's their problem, NOT your's. My family used to be the same way. They hated the way I dressed, acted, and the music I listened to, but I never cared what they thought of me, and once they seen that, they just gave up because they know their words & whatever wouldn't impact me.
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There's nothing wrong with defining your personal style, so long as you don't let that style define you.
If you like the goth look and culture, then by all means explore it. However, be careful that you don't allow the look itself to begin to affect your personality. For instance, make sure that you're getting red or purple tips because that's the look you want, not because that's what goths do and so you're going to do it. I'm not picking on goth, by the way; I would have the same cautionary words if you said you were getting into any kind of labeled style. The point is that just because you're into the gothic style, it doesn't mean that you MUST write macabre poetry, hate your parents, pierce everything, or do anything else that's stereotypically goth.
Your family may be able to deal with it better if you can show them that you're able to turn it on and off, so to speak. So at some point, dig the bright yellow dress out of the back of your closet, put on makeup that isn't all shades of gray, and show them that you can still look "normal" when you want to. Then put the black back on and be yourself again.
There are a lot of negative impressions about goth culture. Many people seem to think that it's about drugs, death rock music, hatred of everyone and everything, barbaric rituals, weird satanic cults, and so on. This irrational stereotype is what your family is afraid of, and why they are so adamant about changing you. If you can show them that these ideas are false, then you can get some peace about it.
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the exact same thing is happenning to me. 1 time i was around my uncle (which is REALLY into the whole church scene) and i had my black nail polish on and he started giving me a lecture on how, in his words, "goths are evil satanists who sit there and mope around all day and cut themselves because they feel like no-one cares". I was just sitting there listening to him and after he walked away, i realized, I DONT CARE AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU. Do what you want. like the person before me said, you shouldn't apologize for being goth. goths are people too, you know? they eat, sleep, cry, bleed, think, and all that stuff. just because you like/wear black doesnt mean that you're goth or that you have to go goth. just be yourself. I hope I've helped in some way.
~Nikki
P.S: Red tips are awesome!!! ;)
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