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Friends With Benefits
I have been friends with this guy since Sophmore year in High School, I'm now a freshman in College (19 years old), we are going to the same college. Anyways with all the stress of college none of us have time for a boy friend or girl friend but we both do enjoy sex, yes, I will put it that bluntly. We both started this friends with benefits relationship with no strings and no questions asked and this started in the beginning of the school year. I recently met this guy who I have feelings for, actual relationship feelings for and really want to give it a shot. He has admitted his feelings to me on occasions before and we are now going out. The guy I had the friends with benefits relationship I tried to end it off with but he got mad and psycho! He started yelling at me and calling me a slut and all these names. I think he had actual feelings for me! The other day we met up because I had to tell him that there is no future for us and I don't need a friend with benefit anymore and he got even more mad, and I have never seen him like this before. I reported him to the police because I was terrified. He is now in the hospital and got 'evaluated' and he has bi-polar disorder and is taking pills. I feel guilty, should I? Isn't this my fault, if we never started this maybe this wouldn't have happened? Should I talk to him about the situation now that he is on meds or should I never see him again? He is still my friend and I don't want to back down on him... what should I do??
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You shouldn't feel guilty. In a way reporting him got him help he needed. Bi-polar can become dangrous. Don't feel upset with yourself, you did nothing wrong. You can try and still be friends with him, I don't see why not. If he continues to call you name & things in that matter I would end the friendship. You don't need friends like that.
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Everything will be okay :) & good luck with the new guy.
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Bi-polar is bi-polar. If it wasn't you, then it was going to be someone else. People with bi-polar can be completely reduced by very surprisingly small things actually, although I suppose it depends on the degree. You shouldn't feel guilty about it. You two had a casual relationship, and it's not like he should expect you to keep having sex with him when you've found somebody who you want to be in a more serious relationship with. He shouldn't be like that even if you'd just decided for no reason that you didn't want to have sex with him anymore.
You could try talking to him about it indirectly, carefully, such as introducing it through another subject. If he starts to appear distressed, completely change the subject, and deny anything that sounds like he is self-depreciating. He might become very desperate sounding, and you should do your best not to agravate that, while also not promising anything that you know you don't want to give or do.
If he's just psycho on you about it, then it's possible he's just not a very nice person at all when he senses there are no "benefits" in a relationship for him. That would be nothing to do with bi-polar at all. That's an entirely different syndrome known by names such as jerk and prick. I hope the suggestion doesn't offend you too much. I don't know the situation, but in these kinds of situations I find it's always best to be careful in re-evaluating people who appeared to be good, nice people under other circumstances.
Good luck,
-K
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it's not your fault. & honestly, there isn't a thing you could do.
if he scared you, then basically you had the right to go to the police.
everything's okay. i promise/
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You should definatly keep beeing freinds with the guy, its not his fault he had an bipolar episode he can't control that. About talking to him about the situation, if you feel like you still need to go ahead... but i would hold off on talking to him about it a little... maybe to see what he says.
well hopes this helps!
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