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Something doesn't feel right
I know that I trust my boyfriend and I know that he would never cheat on me because he honestly loves me and it's a mutual feeling, but he's been talking to this girl that he said he met about a year ago and she lives about an hour away from where him and i live, but when he visits his dad he visits her, and she is suposidly one of his best friends, but for some reason whenever i'm hanging around with him and a girl calls h sits there and texts her or talks to her, and it bugs me alot, and i said something once and he said that he would never cheat on me, but for some reason i'm still scared that something will happen. I'm also upset because I was looking at this girls MySpace and it had some comments on there from like almost a year ago him saying on her pictures stuff like "Or you're so sexy.." and stuff like that but he posted those things before him and i started dating, but it bugs me that they are still there and i tried telling him i didn't like it and asked him to delete it but he told me that i shouldn't worry about it and it shouldn't be a problem but for some reason i still don't like it, and he talks about his ex's alot and it bugs me alot and i told him and he said that i had nothing to worry about and i shouldn't worry about, but i really love him but it bugs me so much and i try to ignore it but i can't and whenever i try to talk about it with him he gets pissy and moody and says that i'm not listening to my heart and i'm only thinking about his past.
I'm sorry that this is so long but i needed to get it out. Thank you so much.
-Beanie
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I'm sorry to hear about your problem Beanie. It's a tough question because it's hard to know when we can't see it for ourselves; how he acts around her or when he talks about her or even when he messages her.
I can relate to you in a small sense that my current bf of 8 months knows a girl (who's prettier than me; Blonde, small and petite and skinny and well...has bigger boobs!)
He went to school with her and was best friends with her (if you'd call it that!) for four years before they started liking each other and then started 'fooling around' on just a few occasions (although they never slept together). That was 2 years ago- maybe 3 now?
When she started working at the same place as me and my bf, she then started paying my bf a lot of attention and whenever she passed us, she never acknowledged me at all...she'd look straight at my bf's face as we passed her and she'd smile at him and her eyes would just light up.
That clearly got me jealous. When she started poking her toungue at him playfully, and tugging on his top when she walked passed him and when he made her laugh and he'd come up to me with this 'Glow' upon his face....it broke me on the inside.
Sometimes he gets snappy at me if I bring her up and I guess as much as I'm happy he's with me and no longer goes out of his way to talk to her (and she no longer tries with him anymore), I'll never full accept that he isn't still keen on her.
I think that your problem relates to mine...in a small way. My advice for you is...make him put a stop to seeing her when he's away from you....instead, make him take you along if he wants to see her. That's your right~!
He needs to respect your feelings otherwise lovie, you're gonna risk getting your heart tread on.
How can you put a stop to it? When I caught that blondie tugging on my bf's top, I asked my bf straight out if he thought that it was OK what she did? When he said no, I said that he then needed to set an example if she tries it again...and this of course was to avoid her whenever possible, and no eye contact- until she gets the hint! It worked and you know what Beanie, I realised that my bf loved me enough to do what was right for our relationship to remain at it's best. Other than that..at least get him to show you the messages or...just get yourself a male friend- preferable who's better looking than your bf and make him jealous. Fill me in. Good luck
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yepp. this situation sucks, because i was just in this same deal. you just have to trust him, and make sure he's not lying to you. like someone else already said, try making friends with her and it'll be a little easier to find out. if your really suspicious, you could go on his myspace and look for messages or look through his cell phone, although that's bad and i don't recommend that. ah. but you just gotta trust him. it's the best thing you can do.
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well, he should not be telling you to "not worry about it" when it bugs you. he has no right to visit another girl and talk to her when hes with you. he should be paying attention to you, not her. if he doesnt like her and shes not that important to him, he would hear you out and actually do something about this other girl. if he really cared about how you feel then he would at least take off the comments that they left eachother, even if it was a while ago. i have the same problem with my boyfriend so i know exactly how you feel. even though he reassures you that he doesnt like her, it is still going to make you uneasy when hes hanging out with her because he shouldnt be. you need to tell him that he needs to stop talking to her so much and give you his attention when you guys are together. dont let him tell you not to worry about it, talk to him about the situation in depth and dont let him stop you by saying "dont wworry about it". even though you should trust him, i think hes pushing his luck.
good luck
hope i helped
Danni<3
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The fact that he keeps telling you not to worry about it shows that he doesn't care about your feelings. If he was such a great guy, and you really DIDN'T have anything to worry about, he'd just delete it and pay more attention to you. Now I'm not saying he's cheating on you, but it is obvious that he's not 100% into you. If he loved you so much he'd want to spend every minute with you, and not spending time talking to someone else. Let him know that it is really bothering you. And if he says not to worry about it tell him that if he truly cared about you he'd care about your feelings. I hope I helped <3
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lol dont worry about tha length just make sure you read err thang imma say...
First of all with this chick in tha other town, try to make friends with her, if she gut a myspace become one of her friends, and if she gets curious on why you wanna get to know her just be like well (ya boys name) says your mad chill. And if you two become good friends she will spill err thang.
And about tha comments just try to ignore them, because are guys, like even my homeboys leave messages like that saying how sexii, or damn ya man is lucky, or i want sum of that, they just goofy.
And when he texts or calls a chick when you around, wait until he is really focused on what hes doing and try to sit on him or lay on him or lean on him real close so he will feel your body, and then start making out with him, or do a quick tongue down, or kiss him hard suck his lips, and use ya teeth, make him want you and forget about tha chick.
When he starts talking about his ex's say i'd rather talk about you n me then sum people i hardly know. But say is in a sexii voice taht will turn him on. And make him feel guilty that he dont spend enough time with you and when u on tha phone with him, be like oh i really wanna be with you right now or i want you to hold me tight or i wanna kiss them juicy lips of yours but you probably busy talking to one of them girls. And let him know how much you feel for him.
hope i helped
.Da One'n Only.
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Okay boo I don't know which direction you should go in leaving or staying because young men will be young men. But, first of all you never said but do you know for absolute sure that the girl knows about you and that you are his woman you say he writes on her myspce page so he must have one too if you are on his and it is self-evident that you are his main girlfriend that is a plus because even if he is snooping around on you you are his main squeeze. Men cheat all the time but they have this one girl that is in their heart and that may be you. Now you say he wrote some stuff about her being sexy it is for absolute sure that he is sexually attracted to her is they aren't having sex and if they haven't had a more serious relationship in the pass. He has feeling for her no doubt boo, he may not be acting one them for sure but that id only a maybe. But, it had crossed his mind and he is thinking about it and maybe just maybe if she came on storng enough one night he would. But, you say when a girl calls he sits there and talks to them now i don't know if you are talking about her or just other girls in general. But, if it is other girls nothing maynot be going on with them. So he can sit there and talk with them without incriminating himself. But i think he is trying to use reverse psychology on you trying to pretend he is being open while hiding so much if it is her he is just trying to seem innnocent. Why should he be getting mad at you when you inquire about something that hurts you and makes yo uncomfortable he is flipping the script so that you won't continue to ask questions and get to the bottom of it. The bottom line is i know you are trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and be an understanding girlfriend but take it from someone who has been there before. In situations like this listen to your heart because your intuition doesn't lie. If you would like to ask me any specific questions or soemthing i didn't fully answer that you'd like to know don't hesitate to ask BEY.
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The same thing happened to me. My ex-girlfriend was nagging (in the nicest way possible) me about how I was talking to this girl that she didn't like. I've known this girl for years and years, but to avoid conflict, I said I wouldn't talk to her.
To tell you the truth, I don't believe that you should feel worried; he's told you numerous times not to feel worried, so you shouldn't, and you owe that to him as his girlfriend. If he doesn't want to take down the comments, which mean absolutely nothing to him, then it shouldn't matter much to you. It is just myspace after all. What really matters is how you connect in person, but as you say, he does text other people. This, frankly, is rude, but you shouldn't be mad at him. He's just nervous, like any real boyfriend would be, around you, and might not have much to say in fear of embarrassment.
All in all, I think you should not be so worried about his past. Its whats in the present that counts.
Now I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but I'm just trying to tell you the truth about how I feel about it. I really hope the best for you and your boyfriend.
--Jack
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