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what can i do ???
after my dad died his side of the family completely abandoned us . leaveing my mom to do everything.
she has a lot of stress to deal with and im not sure how to help her. ive tried helping out with cleaning the house but i just get in the way.
and my little 9 year old brother is just makeing things worse. i dont know whats going on that little head of his but hes giving my mom big ass head aches. hes failing 4th grade. wich is like the easiest grade. and hes leaving all of his garbage every where. and is constantly doing stuf wrong.
weve tried everything to help him and i swear none of it works.
if any one has any sujestions PLEASE tell me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Yo.
I'm sorry to hear your Dad died. Try giving your mom a 'day iff' like a day she has off of work, and PAMPER her. make her breakfast, lunch, dinner, let her watch watever she wants on tv, take care of your lil brother and all that jazz. For your brothers failing, try talking to the schools (his schools) guidence counsler or the pricibal or even his teacher. Sylvan has a tutor for alot of stuff so maybe try to call them.
Hope you can get some things squared away
-YOLIV :)
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I speak from experience, on this because I went through just about the same thing when my dad died. His family became very mean, and we no longer speak to them anymore.
I'm sure that your mother appreciates the help you are trying to give, even though it may seem like "you get in the way" you're really not. She's grieving, and things may not be the way they seem if she gets upset or things like that.
Your brother is not intentionally trying to cause problems, it's very hard at any age to deal with you dad dying, especially, at nine years old. He's grieving his self, and he probably doesn't know how to handle it. It's anything but an easy thing to handle.
The best advice I can give you is to try to help your family as much as possible, and talk to them. Both your mother and brother. And when talking to your brother, make sure that he knows that he can always talk to you and count on you as his sister.
I'm very sorry for your loss, and I know it doesn't seem like it, but in time it will get easier. Of course, you will always miss your dad but it will get easier to handle. :)
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Your brother sounds like he is still grieving for his Dad. At 9 years old he is still very young and probably doesn't really understand why his Dad has gone or why he feels the ways he does.
Instead of berating him for being messy and failing 4th grade, try praising him for anything good that he does. Ask for his help and give him options on what to do - for example doing either the washing up or drying up. He may feel that as the main man in the house everything should fall on his shoulders and it is too much of a burden.
Give him time and your attention and things will probably improve, but it will take a while. There will also be times when it will all be too much and he may well regress again.
As for your Mum, she probably feels that as the only adult it is her entire responsibility to do everything. It may also be her way of coping with her loss and taking her mind off of what has happened. Just be there for her with a cup of tea or a quick cuddle. A few words of love will mean the world to her.
For yourself, please don't take on too much, lean on your friends and ask for help at school if you need it. People are much more understanding when they know what is happening in your life, good or bad.
I wish you and your family all the best for the future and hope that life gets better for you all. Take care.
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he's probably going through a really hard time, and probably misses his dad alot. but hes at that age where its not really cool to show your feelings. so its affecting his work, and he's acting up (by leaving his trash everywhere) to perhaps get attention, or just as an outlet for whatever he's feeling inside.
and remember fourth grade is the easiest grade for you, but hes only 9, and its allnew and probably a bit difficult and challenging for him.
you should just try helping him out in his work, sitting and talking with him about whatever topic he brings up, and just give him some sympathy and attention.
but don't spoil him either..be nice with limits.
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