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Jelousy
i guess i can say im jelouse, of when my boyfreind is with this girl in his classes and inbetween classes alot, and occsaionaly sits with her at lunch, i mean i trust him by all means, but i hate bein jelouse cuz it hurts me and effects my mood. but i hate seein them laffing together and im pretty sure what i see is a form of flirting... what should i do i mean do i have a reason to be jelouse if there kinda flirting...? he reassures me its nothing like that but when he first met her he was al like shes mad cool, we have so much in common , and shes in a lotta classes with me, and we walk together to our classes. it hurts, sometimes i just feel like shes on his mind when i want to b the one on his mind, and knowign that hes with her in gym and what not = / idkk i need advice
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i was having this probably with my boyfriend a while ago. and it sucks, i know. and you just feel frusterated .. and when you talk to him about it you feel like you're going to be a jealous girlfriend. and that's no fun.
i just talked to him about it and i was like i dont mind when you talk to girls, because i know you're friends with them .. and i dont want to take your friends away. but there's just this one girl that drives me crazy. when you talk to her i just get jealous and that's not good. maybe you do not realize it, but you do flirt with her and it makes me mad .. so all i'm asking for you is to be aware that you do sometimes flirt with her and maybe you could stop. i want you and her to still be friends, but maybe stop flirting so much.
so try that with him. but you've got to keep this in mind. he's with you, not with her .. and he likes you, not her. so be more positive, and dont let her get to you.
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I think your relationship is in trouble. It's time to have a talk with him about it.
Tell him that you see what's going on, and you can't help but feel that he's attracted to her in a way that affects your relationship. Ask him flat out - would he rather be dating her than you? If the answer is yes, then that's it; let him go (you could also choose to fight for him, but that's something that tends to work out a lot better in the movies than it does in reality). Try not to be too upset with him if he does say he wants to break up - at least he's being honest, and that's worth something.
If the answer is no, then the two of you are going to have to sort out some feelings. Guys will flirt - at least the more fun and interesting ones do - but you're not out of line to get upset about it when he focuses his attention on ONE girl who is not you. He needs to offer real reassurance that you ARE the first and foremost girl in his life right now, in actions and not words. Lunch, for instance - he certainly doesn't need to spend every lunch hour with you, but I don't think it's too much for you to ask that he not spend them with her (especially if they're sitting alone together).
Once you've "pinned him down" and gotten a yes or no answer, then hold him to it. He doesn't get to try going out with her and then expect to find you waiting if it doesn't work out. Likewise, he doesn't get to reassure you that everything is fine, only to end up kissing her in an empty hallway between classes. You ask him about how he feels about her in order to give him a chance to be honest about his feelings, and if he chooses to lie about them, then that's extremely disrespectful to you. At that point, you publicly expose him for the lying bastard he is. You might even want to tell his new girlfriend what really happened.
My gut instinct tells me, unfortunately, that he will choose to break up with you. That may be for the best in the long run. Good luck to you.
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Some things you have to remember though, is you're not married to him. Why don't you start hanging out with other guys? Seee how he feels. or why don't you go & sit with them at lunch? or walkup to them in the hallways? & just be like HEY! I'd be jealous too, & I also actually know how it feels. & it sucks. But, if you just have a positive atitude, it'll go better. & if you end up finding out that he likes her, well then it just wasn't meant to be. & theirs other fish in the sea. (:
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Wow, I relate to this so much latley.
My past boyfriend of five months did the same thing with a girl he knew I hated. When I asked him about it, he just brushed it off saying it was 'nothing.' Now he used her to get back at me and I've had the biggest heartbreak of my life.
Don't worry about being jealous, one man once said "To be jealous is to be human"
As for your boyfriend let him know you're hurt.
And hint to the girl that you really like your boyfriend ALOT, maybe she'll get the hint.
But for me, I couldn't take the constant
worry because I have a stress disorder and
trying to be sure if I trusted him or not
so I dumped him. But like I said, he asked
her out to get back at me and now I'm totally
torn and heartbroken.
So, since you still have the chance
to stop it. Let him know how you feel.
I never got the chance to tell my boyfriend
how much he was hurting me, but now, I wish
I had.
Good Luck <3
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This is what leads to cheating. Once theyre always hanging out, talking about them, eating lunch together you should just have a talk with him. tell him how you feel. say
" Hey, i know you say you dont like her like that, but its really bothering me. It's like shes always on your mind. It hurts alot. and when you always talk about her it hurts even more. I just want us to be alright. and if you think differently tell me."
make sure you let him know how much its bothering you. and if he still continues to talk about her, and always hanging out with him. you guys will not work out.
ive wasted 7 months with my ex boyfriend. He did the same thing. but i didnt realize what was happening until he kept cheating on me. and i still kept him! i dont know why. just dont do what i did.
remember there are plenty of better guys out there. and if he isnt willing to give all his love and attention to you. he isnt worth it!
hope that helped =]
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