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my boyfriend and i hav gone far and im scared of wat will ha
Ok. Well Im 14 and I'm a girl. My boyfriend is just a few years older than me. Me and him have gotten sexual, but we haven't had sex before. I don't want to have sex, but he's older and he would do it if i did. And that kind of puts pressure on me. He isn't making me have sex or purposly putting pressure on me. He is a really nice guy and has a very nice personality and I could so see myself with him years from now and we have been together for 6 months. We have touched eachother in certain places before and like the other night we took it a step further. He touched me between my legs bare but I let him. I always get caught up in the moment and I am afraid I will get caught up in the moment and end up doing something I will regret. I won't have sex till I have no doubts I want to be ready and my mom said that if i want to have sex she will put me on the pill. So I want to wait another year or so and then i will if I'm ready, but I'm afraid he exspects I will have sex with him even though he's told me many times it's will always be my choice and when I am ready he will be to! I am scared! What should I do?
Oh sorry if it was so long, but if you can could you please give me some advice? :)
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first of all you shouldnt do anything you dont want to. its good he isnt putting presure on you. most guys who do that are definitely not the ones for you. they will end up leaving you after they know they will get some from you. Just talk to him about it. tell him you love him but your not ready yet to have sex. tell him youre fine with the other stuff he does. hopefully he will understand and it wont happen. and most likely if u really like him you shouldnt regret it. as long as youre doing it because you love him alot, youre most likely not going to regret it. hopefully i helped you
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of course, its your choice ultimatly. just tell your boyfriend your limits before the situtation happens. if he knows your limits and you know them beforehand, it'll be easier too stop. but of course be ready just in case things do get out of hand have protection with you.
just try to take things slow.
goodluckloveely<3
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I understand your position. He may think that if you are mature enough to date him, then you are mature to have sex. That isn't true. Not feeling right is a good dign. It is letting you know if you step out you are pushing yourself away from HIV or even sudden pregnancy.
I would just let him know how you feel about all this. Its up to you. Just remember that the power you have over your man is your voice. TRUST ME he'll understand.
Oh yea, I'd use a condom instead, because he doesn't sound like a virgin to me. HIV is like so dangerous. I mean it used to be from ages 18-25, now its like 12-18. You're not the only one :) :)
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Tell him that your not ready. He'll understand. TEll if that you sometimes get caught up in the moment, but you don't want him to think that you'll have sex with him. If he's the great guy you said he is then it'll all work out.
hope i helped =D
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You just have to be as careful as possible. If you are afriad something else will happen than try to stick to kissing because if he respects you and gets carried away then set boundaries for him. tell him your thoughts too. When you feel you are ready for sex than ask your mom to take you to the doctor to get the pill and always use protection when you do.
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You know what...you are in the exact same position as i was in a few week ago! In the end...i just told him that i wasn't ready just yet and he was fine with it..im sure your bf wil be to as he has already said whenever your ready he wil be. Dont feel pressured into doing it though because by the sounds of it he isnt bothered when you do it :)Just make sur your ready before you do :) Hope i Helped xxx
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Ok, this problem seems to come up alot with young adults. Before you do something stupid, think of the consequences. Aids,messing up your rep., or screwing up something internal.
be careful about who you let touch you and where. he may be very trustworthy, but if you feel uncomfortable don't do it.
i would wait till your married so that you don't have any guilty feelings that give you emotional stress. don't do it, you'll regret it. and your bf said there was no presure so don't feel anxious or edgy.
take care
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you seem like a smart girl, and i know stuff happens but if you're not ready then don't do it. if he says he will wait, and he truly means it, then wait. you want your first time to be special and you know its the right time when you are no longer nervous. you're only 14, i'm the same age as you and i'm, still a virgin and i know i want my first time to be special. even if you're on the pill, you can still get pregnant. and yes my best friend had sex on the pill with a condom and now has a baby. so i'm going to warn you don't just think "oh yes i'm on the pill now i can sex him" it doesn't work that way. when you can handle a baby, that's when you're ready for sex. 6 months may seem long, but truly it's not.
is your boyfriend a virgin? if hes not, you don't know for sure he doesn't want to get in your pants. i dont know either of you and i'm not saying he's just trying to get in your pants, but i'm just saying boys will say anything.
if its been 6 months and he still respects you, chances are, he's a good boyfriend. but still, if your not ready, than wait.
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Honestly if you get to that point just tell him straight up. You are younger so he sould understand that your not ready, and if he is a good true boyfriend then he will respect your for it. You have to make sure you dont do anything you will regret.
Jess
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