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is he gay?
he wants to please me.. but he doesnt want to recieve from me. he is waaayyy to nice (opens MY car door when I drive)... we try to do stuff physically and he always is giving to me (without me even asking). but when i try to give to him, he will stop me and say that he doesnt need that from me... just being with him makes him happy. i feel like he's not attracted to me or something (im pretty good looking as he says), but he swears he is & emotionally i know he's attracted to me. even with intercourse he will get soft & have to stop. is he gay because he doesnt want anything from me?! (i know that NO guy would pass up an offer by a girl). am i not pleasing him? i dont know what to think or do!!
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Are you kidding me!!! SWEETIE! You are dating the perfect GUY!!!! My god, I want that!!! That's called a gentleman. I know that you find it strange since we're all surrounded by assholes but my god he sounds so...perfect. Opening the car door. Isn't sex crazy. You shouldn't be thinking about whether he's gay! You should be thinking about your future MARRIAGE TO HIM!!!!
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he's making a mistake here in all this though. sure it makes you happy. but he's going to realize someday that he's got needs to, and by putting you and everything you could possibly want before himself at all times he is depriving himself of what he needs and wants, and is also showing that he's afraid to admit that he has desires and needs too. it's not healthy for him t behave like this and it could be detrimental to the relationship if he doesn't start speaking up and saying what he wants. i wouldn't say he's gay he just needs to come out and say what he wants, because as a human being we all have wants, needs, and urges. and if he never fulfills his he's going to end up hating you or hating himself.
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dont fret
he just wants to treat you like a queen
next time you want to do something for him
be like, i insist because you deserve to be treated well also
also, try talking to him about the situation
tell him that you feel as though he never lets you do anything for him
hope i helped =]
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I can see why you are wondering what is up if he isn't..but I agree with pootietang that he is not gay based on this. You have probably come across a guy that is shy, insecure, inexperienced, or something close to one of those. He most likely masterbates frequently which is normal and feels like his needs are taken care of. However, what he is not realizing is that it is your need to be able to please and be with him in a satisfactory way that is seriously lacking. Tell him how you feel and that the give and take is important for you. This may or may not be true for him, but it is a fact that a great number of guys (any age) that are used to masterbating and have little or no experience with women, will have difficulty relating to real women and being sexual with them. Many guys use porn, but some who solely use porn and prefer masterbation because of the false sense of control and freedom from criticism it allows them, will have difficulty in attaining normal sexual relationship and control over their own sexual functioning. I am telling you this for educational purposes, but also to warn you not to take his problem personally. There is little except being patient with him that you can do to affect this if it applies to him. In the future, you can decide whether or not it is worth being with a man who has this type of dysfunction, which can be a lifelong problem, especially if they do nothing to change it.
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Think about your question.
You're asking if a guy who pleases a girl is gay. Does that make sense..at all? Gay guys like to give pleasure to men, and unless I'm mistaken, you aren't a man.
Your boyfriend just sounds insecure. He may think that you aren't attracted to his body or that he's too dirty or you wouldn't enjoy it or something.
So no. He is not gay.
I would like to add that your statement "i know that NO guy would pass up an offer by a girl" is very stereotypical and untrue. Please don't make such comments on something so insulting.
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I don't know that he's gay, necessarily, but I do think this is something that you should bring up with him. Don't outright ask him if he's gay because, whether he is or he isn't, the subject is likely to be a defensive issue for him.
Just sit him down and tell him that you feel like he isn't attracted to you and that it's hurting you. Don't get angry at him, let him know that you care about him regardless. Talking it out will help more than anything else.
If he is gay, as much as you care about him and as hurt as you may be by it, don't get angry. Be there for him as best you can. Coming out is a painful, terrible thing - especially to loved ones. He obviously cares about you so just have his back.
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This exact thing happened to me with my now husband of 7 years. I come to find out that he had so much going on in his head that it seriously effected him being able to have sex. Have you talked to your guy about it? Is there guilt from a religious upbringing? Some guys get told they should not have sex until they are married so much that is does sit in the back of their mind no matter what they may want.
Talk to him about it! You may find it to be something so simple. As far as him being nice to you ENJOY it! Honestly this seems like a guy who has a ton of respect for you and maybe that is where it is steming from. It took my husband 5 months until he was able to get past his ubringing and I am SOOO glad I waited and didn't lose hope!
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