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healing after emotional infidelity


Question Posted Tuesday November 14 2006, 9:23 am

i think about what my husband did to me all of the time, i can't stop. i know i need therepy for it but in the meantime...
i found out about an affair he had through finding love letters written to a co-worker that he claims is just a friend. what makes me even angrier is she came to our baby shower and baptism. what a lot of nerve! i would love to have it out with her too. she is married with two kids as well. i know it wouldn't give me the satisfaction that i want because if she is that low to come to our family functions, well..
how will i ever trust my husband again, he is so secretive i hate that more than anything. i have talked about everything with him but i just can't trust that the answers he gives me aren't just a waste of my time. what am i going to do? i want to fix our marriage esp. for our child.


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lalalovely17 answered Tuesday November 14 2006, 9:02 pm:
Well i'm not married or do I have kids, but the only way you can get on with your marraige is to gain all your trust back. I think you should go to marriage counseling and while there tell him you know he had an affair, and it really hurt you. Then you will be able to work towards gaining your trust back. Always remember, if you aren't happy it's not worth staying with him. Sometimes a divorce is the best thing, but i hope everything works out for the best!

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sizzlinmandolin answered Tuesday November 14 2006, 3:36 pm:
Marriage counseling is the best thing you can do right now. You're not going to just start trusting him again. He needs to earn that trust somehow and a marriage counselor can help this happen. Only with help, can you get through this. It sounds like you want it to work out badly enough, so I believe that it will. You need to be confident that it will too. If you seek the help that you need, you'll have every reason to be confident. Remember that it's okay to get help. Sometimes even married couples aren't on the same page. You would still be solving your problems on your own. The counselor would only be giving you guidance. Good luck. :)

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MissxJacky answered Tuesday November 14 2006, 12:32 pm:
Hm well I've never been in this situation because,
1) I'm not married.
2) I don't have kids.
3) I'm probably not even close to your age.
But..
If I were in your situation I would talk about it with him and if you have enough trust in each other..
I'd ask him, 'Hey, are you hiding anything from me?'
Just see what he says..
Also if you can't get through to him, maybe you should talk to a psychologist.
I'm sure that would help to.
I hope everything goes well for you.

I hope I helped.
=]

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