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Okay, what does this mean?
I've gone on 2 dates with this guy who's still in the closet. He's never been in a relationship and we've kissed and made out and did other sensual things, not sex. I asked him if he wanted to go out and do something with me next week and his response was, "maybe" I asked him why "maybe" and he said, "well I could be going on a date next week." I was like, "oh okay that's cool, keeping your options open."
He's like, "yeah" "are you okay with that?" I was like, "not really, but I don't want to act like i'm too attached." then I ask, "would you be okay if I went on a date with another guy between then and now?" he said, "yeah, i'm not clingy." Okay, now analyze this and asnwer this question. What's the difference between being clingy, and acting interested? In my mind, him saying that he might be on a date with another person between then and now, shows that he's not interested in me. And second, isn't it rude anyway to tell the person who you've gone out with two dates on that you might be going on a date with someone else? please help, this frustrates me.
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yeah its rude but atleast hes honest...red flag...obviously hes not the right one for you and the way he sounds i dont really think hes the right one for that many others...he more then likely wont give you a good relationship...clingy is when you call aguy 10 times a day ..get jelous when he hangs out with people who are just friends whether there male or female..bosses him around or drags him every where and basically never giving him a spare moment with out you. if you werent ok with him dating aroung while dating you then tell him...your not being clingy your stating what you want and if he cant comply then hes not right for you.
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We all have such limited perspectives on each other. He may have been in a prior relationship that was problematic because of jealousy or his partner being clingy. Maybe he is trying to test you out a bit and rule out any potential repeats of the bad scenerio of his past. It is not fun for our ego to admit that others can be attracted to more than just us at once, but it is a fact of life. He may have met you and another interesting fellow about the same time, and wants to explore his options. There is no harm in that, and he respected you enough to be honest at least. You have only gone on two dates, so do not overanalyze this. What may be rude to you, may seem honest and respectable behavior to him. Hold off on judging this or taking it personally. Consider getting to know him as you would get to know someone from a different culture. It takes time to find out how someone else defines the world and their place in it. Getting to see things from other's perspectives is not always fun, but it is always educational.
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He sounds like he's messing you about because obviously you must of been in some kind of a relationship and he abused that by seeing someone else without actually breaking up with you.
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I believe every relationship can have its own rules as long as you are honest about how you feel and both people agree and are on the same wave length. One person might want an open relationship the next a pickett fence children and a nanny. You two fall somewhere in between. but maybe not in the same place on the scale. I think the fact that he was honest with you is awsome! I think the fact that you were honest with him is wonderful and doesnt make you clingy.
The fact that you have had two dates and want to be exclusive might be a bit rushed. But I also believe when you find the right person he wont want to date around. When you find the person on the scale between pickett fences and open orgies you will both want the same thing at the same time. So you have a choice. Date this guy and others casually. Or move on. But continue to be honest.
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I think I would assume he wasn't real interested. I
mean if you really like someone I think you would be at least a little jealous. Certainly wouldn't be talking about dating others.
I think for now you can only call this guy a friend.
Try not to get to attached because if you do you will probably get hurt. He just doesn't seem ready
to be attached yet. :)
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