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new boyfriend/feelings
I'm 14/f and my boyfriend is 16/m. We got together pretty recently and things have been going great so far. But I've been having a problem dealing with his past. Sometimes I'll come across a picture of him drunk with a bunch of girls and it bothers me, but I know he didn't do anything with them besides maybe hooking up. (For the record, he doesn't drink at all like he used to and won't do it unless I'm there) Yet it still drives me insane to see those pictures on his friends sites. He isn't afraid to call a girl hot,(example being Tila Tequila) but I know he's kidding because when other guys talk about girls being hot or whatever, I'll go "Oh yeah, shes so hot" in a sacastic tone. Hes just doing it back jokingly to make me sound like a lesbian. Just the fact that hes calling another girl hot makes me jealous though. He knows I'd go insane if I ever foundout he was cheating or anything, but I just don't like thinking about that he probably thinks of other girls sometimes. I just don't know how to deal with that fact that all guys checkout every girl they see. Any advice? :/
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Welcome to reality. Girls seem to think that they themselves can check out guys, and say this or that one is cute, but that guys are evil for the same thing. We get insanely jealous and drive ourselves nuts for no real good reason. His thinking other girls are hot, does not make you less hot. Just like you thinking a certain guy is hot does not go away when you like him. Guys are simple creatures and do not see the point of trying to be any different than what feels good at the moment. Women have been given the burden of being the "good" ones and have been told to carry the morality of the entire planet as sacred virgins who cannot enjoy sex or think "dirty" thoughts etc...so, we naturally have a chip on our shoulder. It is not fair or even realistic that women accept such a false definition of femininity. Because it is impossible to fit such a holy mold, we decide that to make it just, and take on the role of virtue, we need to demand the same loyalty. This is where the charade unravels. Men will be jerks, but very few will successfully be smart jerks. Most will confess that they are pigs and happy to check out any barely breathing bosom. You could put a bag on a girls face and he would not notice anyway, so don't take it personally. Guys like sex, boobs, butts, legs, whatever. This is not all bad, because I am assuming that you are part of the group of females that would qualify in his mind as hot. What will set you apart and make you special is you. What will make him decide to be loyal is him. Faithfulness is about the one being faithful. It is not something that depends on how cute the other girls are. Supermodels get cheated on all the time by their boyfriends with less attractive girls! He is going to look, so don't waste your worry over it. Accept it and change the way you have been judging yourself for the same behavior. You are allowed to look, and enjoy the company of other guys. It is normal and healthy.
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If he was open and honest with you about his past then he has no worrys about getting drunk again and being with other women.
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If he doesnt drink like he used to then cut him some slack. If he has really changed then forgive his past. If he still gets drunk with you and acts the same way with you that he did with the girls in the pictures then you maybe uncomfortable with the fact he hasnt really changed. As for looking at other girls and thinking about other girls...he is 16yo that wont stop for a few years. The fact that he is upfront may tell you he isnt being sneaky and cheating. If he is just being rude about it and it hurts your feelings ask him to not do it. becareful about jealousy. If you treat him as tho he is cheating he will one day think "if she always gives me greef about it I may as well do it" If he has never givin you a reason to distrust him you need to trust him. Try sharing your feeling about it when you arent upset. Talk to him.
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i think you try your hardest to forget about the past,and move on to the future about the drinkingk thing. as for the whole "Hot" thing,i think you should trust him,lol,im sure maybe sometimes you look at a guy and automatically think hes hott,its the same wit guys, only he's just brave enough to admit that other girls are hot,i think you should chill,i mean he did pick YOU didnt he? lol,but to tell you the truth,i would totally call another guy hot in front of HIM to make him jealous!^_^ but i gotta warn you,dont take it too far,hope i helped!
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its first nature for guys to check a girl out when they see her. and i know for a matter of fact tht when guys do it, the first thing they think of isnt always sex, or seeing her naked, etc. ive asked my bf several times why guys do this, and its really somethnig they cant help. but i know this might be hard for you to believe, because it was for me- but alot of the girls that us girls think are drop-dead gorgeous, really arent to guys. my bf for example- cannot stand jessica simpson, or angelina jolie. i know ur thinknig - ok this guy def, doesnt know a cutie when he sees one- but for real, he jsut doesnt find them attractive. so, dont always assume that your man thnks a girl is hot justbecause hes lookin at her. its instinct for guys, and ultimately- they really cant help it/
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