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Should i let him back into my life?
My dad used to be really mean to my mom, and would treat me and her badly, and alot of stuff, I wont go into detail, but now he says he is sorry, and how he wants MY MOM bak, not really me. He just uses me to get to MY MOM. Like he willl only take me to the movies if my mom comes, and so on. But i like to be with him .But the thing is that the last 3 years i cut him out of my life, becuase he was so mean to us, and now he wants to a part of my life. I kno it is good to 4giv, but i 4 gave him so many times. I stood up 4him so many times, when no one else wud. Is this the last straw or no? Can you plz give me some advice?
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If you really believe he is taking you out to do things just so your mother will come along then you have two choices. Dont go. Or ask your mother not to. If she doesnt go and he stops asking you out then he hasnt changed. The relationship between your mother and father shouldnt be your main concern. Even if you did forgive him it doesnt mean you have to forget what he did. He needs to prove to you that he has changed. Ask him to do this. If you really believe he doesnt want you but he is using you. Dont let him. It will hurt not to spend time with him. But wont it hurt more if you are right about getting used? You can always stand with someone with out having to stand up for them. It is his resposability to stand up for himself.
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talk to both your mom and dad about it. togehter or either seprataly. i would say that you should go with what you think is right, i mean he is after all your dad but remember the stuff that he has done. do what you think is right.
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My step-father is similiar. He and I have never really gotten along and I never appreciated the way he treats my mother and my siblings.....and i even went away for a while because our arguments got so very serious...now that I'm back home....I don't even try to be his friend, or fight at all....I spend as little time as possible around me.
I don't want to be hurt anymore..so I won't allow myself to be hurt.
It's really the same for you, a zebra cannot change his stripes.....the same for people....he might be different right now, but he will go back to his old ways once he feels comfortable.
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You need to stand up for yourself this time. No more standing up for your father. You obviously love him and he'll always be your father, but the way he is treating you is horrible and not something you need in your life. I hope your mom makes the right decisions and does not take him back. You need to talk to your mom and discuss how you feel and what YOU would like. You are HER daughter and she should respect YOUR needs, over your father. It will be hard, but I'm sure you will be strong about all of this. No man should ever treat a woman badly and constantly leave then beg to come back. He is not acting like a father or a husband. Moving on from this will make you a stronger person, because he will just bring you down, and probably your mom too. You need to develop a strong relationship with your mother and maybe talk to a counselor in school or even a best friend. Remember - focus on you and only you and what will make you happiest in the end.
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