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How do you keep a guy interested?
17/F
I'm dating a guy but we're not bf/gf... just dating open ended so we're pretty much allowed to date other people too. The thing is that I don't want to go out with anyone else; just him. So far he hasn't been seeing any other girls, but if/when he does I know that I'm going to feel completely crushed. How do I get him to like me enough to consider only me in a relationship? Lately he's been kinda cold to me, too. I feel like I'm losing his interest, any ideas on how I can spark up our relationship up?
Sex is not an option
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personally i would dump him right away. tell him your not a side thing.. be honest with him i guess.. just say what you feel and if he can't accept that tell him he can't have you! and go look for a guy who is gonna treat you right.
-Bess
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a. talk to him about it.. tell him you want to date exclusively and see what he says. the worst he could say is no.. and it stay the way it is..
b. try new things with him.. go on pic nics.. go hang out with his friends and do what they do.. just do cute little dates that would make yall like each other even more.. do things yall both like!
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Whether or not you want an exclusive relationship, unless both of you agree to it, fhugetaboutit! You are not interested in another guy, because you want him only, but do you want him only if he wants other girls, too? Probably not! That would be torture. Unless he wants to go with only you, keep an open mind about dating a couple more guys. You certainly don't have to be serious with any of them, just be upfront about dating other guys and give them a chance. You may at least have a good time and not be sitting around waiting for him to call. Also, it may prompt him to see that he does in fact want you all to himself and be willing to do the same if he gets a little jealous.
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It sounds to me like you want to be exclusive with this guy, but there's every possibility that he does not. That's a recipe for heartbreak!
HOWEVER, it's possible he would be open to the idea of an exclusive relationship. Have you asked him? His answer may surprise you. In any event, I think that before you invest more in this relationship, you need to make sure that it has the possibility of going in the direction you want it to.
There's nothing wrong with his wanting to date other girls, as long as you're both clear on that. And, it would not be fair for you to get upset with him for doing that, if it's something you've agreed on. If you can't handle him dating other people, and he won't agree to be exclusive, then you're going to have to let him go, because you can't build a relationship when there's a fundamental gap like that in the way.
Unfortunately, I think that the most likely scenario here is that he wants to date other people, but he knows that would bother you, so he feels trapped - even though technically, he could be dating other girls if he wanted to. He may be unconsciously blaming you for being upset about it, and that could be where the coldness is stemming from.
I suggest you approach him this way: tell him you've thought it over, and you want to date exclusively. If he doesn't want to, then you'll have to stop dating at all, because it just isn't what you're looking for. It would be decent of you to assure him that you would part as friends and that there would be no blame.
By the way, I think you're making the right move by not getting physical in order to jump-start the relationship. Sex is something you do to celebrate a relationship that's already sparky, not something to revive it when it's tired.
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-Hey,
I would say maybe you should find out what he likes, which I'm sure you probably already know, and use that to communicate and hang out with him. Instead of just a regular movie/dinner date try like doing an activity like bowling, mini golfing, going to the park, riding bikes, etc. The more time you spend with him, the better you chances are of becoming exclusive. Try and give him some space though, because if he feels too pressured or annoyed, then it won't end well.
Communication is key...
Let me know how it goes,
+HERE4YOU
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