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Fighting with mom
Every single day I feel like I'm fighting with my mom. And it's starting to get really annoying and old. And usually I'm not the one that starts it... she is. For example, I try my hardest to get a good grade. I get an 80. Then I get yelled at for not trying my hardest even though it's my toughest class. She tells me I'm a failure and that I'm in trouble when I go to college. We fight about things like doing well in a sport. She tells me that i should have passed the ball when i shot it and stuff like that. She tells me clothes to wear and how to do my hair. I know being 14 fighting with parent is normal... but is there such thing as over fighting? I don't know what to do anymore and it's really bothering me and kinda depressing now...
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It's your life, not hers. Tell her that remind her she's not your boss she's your mother. You will not always listen to her and she needs to understand it. Tell her that you want the chance to do things YOURSELF, if she continues your going to be a nervous wreck by the age of 16. Your not perfect, and no one is. She watch her life, you watch yours. Do what you liek and not what she wants. Mothers are to give advice, love, care, and comfort to their child not boss them 24/7. Hope I helped. And there is such thing and over fighting but its a word I forgot. Just say yes mom and do whatever you were doing before.
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Thats how my mom and i are and im 16 now. Things go from fine to worse and now even more worse since i have to start college apps soon. Your mom doesnt understand that being a student nowaday is a lot more stressful than back then where you didnt have all those SAT and SAT II requirements and schools were less rigid about who to accept and whatnot. You are not a failure and you wont be 'in trouble' when you get to college. A lot of people have issues in the beginning of college since they're still going from high school to college. Your mom needs to realize that she's demanding too much of you and that she should stop pressuring you so much. It's your choices and your decisions and she shouldnt believe that she has a say in EVERYTHING. other than the fact that shes your mom, there IS a boundary line between what she wants from you and what you can actually achieve. Talking to her might not help, but when she starts going on about what you should do and etc, try ignoring her or responding in short apathetic phrases that she cant argue against [like 'ok' 'fine']? Sometimes it'll just make her even more angry, but if you dont fight back she can't really go on. Theres the chinese proverb that two hands can make a clapping noise but one hand is silent (bad translation) but yeah. Just dont start screaming 'just shut up' like i do. It doesnt have a good effect; it might make her go quiet in shock, but what comes next is worse. dont be depressed because your mom is piling her expectations on you. It's your life and your decisions; dont let her try to make it her life too.
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she could be going through "The Change", or she could be crankey, try suggesting therapy family tharapy to her.
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Fighting is normal, but too much is bad. Sit down when your mom is calm and its a good time and tell her that you think you guys fight too much and that she shouldnt worry about little stuff like that because you are 14 and you can make most of your decisions and care for yourself. Just ignore her when she says that just be like "yes ma'am" and drop the conversation so it won't start anymore fights.
hope i helped =]
Jess
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