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Help Quickly, please!
OK, I do not even know where to begin. I am 30 years old, married with 3 children. Lately, I have been feeling a real nervous breakdown coming on. OUr 2 younger children will not listen to anything we tell them & I mean ANYTHING. Yes, I understand they are little yet, but, we can smack their ass, ground them, put them in time out & they will keep on doing the very thing that gets them into trouble. My husbad has a decent job & I have a min wage job. Somehow, we are failng to make it! We have an outrageous mortage & other bills to pay & right now...we have no money & I mean nothing! Overdrawn in the bank & nothing in our pockets. I honestly don't know who to turn to right now. Everyone I know is sleeping & my husband is at work. I am crying & shaking as I write this now & my 3 year old is upstairs screaming as usual. I actually want to trash my house right now, which by the way is already a dump from no one picking aything up! I don't want to seem like a failure by checking into a mental hospital, but, I don't know what else to do! I don't think I can hold it in any longer. I hope someone out there is on here now. Thanks.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Oh Wow! I know it won't help to tell you this, but I have been there. Really we still live paycheck to paycheck. I used to be upset about the little things like a messy house and kids not doing thier homework, but then I moved on to bigger problems like--in trouble with the law and a host of other major issues with teenagers. Being a parent means a lot of joy and heartache. I have considered mental health, or running away. There has been countless days of frustration and tears on my part. You are not a failure, but a victim of circumstance. It's nearly impossible to seek out counseling or other resources without having the money, or being dirt poor. The middle class people seem to fall through the cracks. I know..been there too. Even though the day to day struggles are overwhelming. I did manage to do some things that made life a little more tolerable. The best thing is to turn to people who have been there. Since my answer is already so long, if you want send a private question and I will talk to you more in depth. For now, bless you and remember, this too shall pass.
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i believe the UK suppernanny said that the first step to helping children, is helping the parents. i think you should do one of those bad children shows, or get someone who could give you advice like it. a bit like the show you have in the US nanny 911.
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Just try to not smack them, because that will send the wrong messages. See if your other child can help too. Talk to someone of athority like a doctor. Good Luck!
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Take a deep breath and know that you are not alone. I know from experience (four kids of my own!) that motherhood is the hardest job and least appreciated in the entire universe! There are free financial and parenting advisors available in many communities through government agencys and local churches. Many cities offer safe places to drop off kids with no questions asked to give overstressed parents a much deserved break.
You are cleary feeling overwhelmed and I feel your pain. So many moms have been in your position and you deserve help and a break. The kids are probably stressed out, too. Spanking never worked for my kids either, so I stuck with time outs. One minute for every year seemed good, but a kid needs to be at least two years old first. You need to be so careful that you do not do anything rash, or that you will regret while you are upset. Ask a neighbor or friend to watch the kids even in your own house for a couple hours while you take a nap or straighten up the mess. You are not a failure. You are a woman who needs a little assistance, and that is okay.
We all need support and you will get through this, I promise. Look in your local phone book and make it your mission today to find as much help as possible. It really is out there and people will really help if you ask. I know in many communities and churches there are lots of volunteers that would be happy to come over and help you out by playing with the kids or going over other options with you. Just having support and people to talk to helps. Join a mom's or working mom's group to talk with other women who have been where you are, and can offer solutions and friendship. You are doing the right thing by asking for advice already, and I will say a prayer for you to get the real help in your life. God Bless!
One of a Kind
The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000
Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages
TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833
Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community
Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:
depression
suicide
running away
parenting problems
relationship concerns
physical, sexual, and emotional abuse
chemical dependency
mental health
anger
aggressive behavior
Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.
Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000
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Sorry this didn't get on the site sooner. Hope you got some sleep.
First the kids. My son has a wonderful thing he does
to keep his in line. He has 5 and they are all 11 and under. A handful is putting it mildly! They start not minding and they line up, lie down and do leg lifts. They used to laugh at first but after a few minutes of holding those legs a few inches off the ground its another story. They don't like it and will usually avoid it at all costs. Give it a try.
The only suggestion I can make to get you living withing your means would be to get rid of that mortgage. Sell the house and find something more affordable. That's easier said than done depending on where you live. I realize that, but do a look in the paper or online and see if something smaller and cheaper can't be found.
As for you mental state it is understandable. You feel everything is happening at once and there is nothing you can do. Add kids screaming in the background...I know the feeling! If it gets to bad
see your doctor. You could be suffering from stress and depression. One or both can be helped with medication.
I wish you luck. :)
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