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living together
My boyfriend and i have been living together for 8 months now.We decided to do this so that we could help each other through school and with other neccesities.I his girlfriend finished college first and already got a job,he is yet to finish,we have kept our living together a secret as we do not want our parents to find out that we are living together before marriage.We plan to formalise our marriage when he finishes college and gets a job.The only fear we both have is for me to get pregnant and we have tried to abstain or use condoms any time we wanna make love.Do you think we are doing the wrong thing?
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I think your right, fot letting you both wait till your done with school. Thats a smart idea, & what I plan on doing. Try birth control. The only thing, that is a little ehh risky, is your parents finding out. But, besides that.. its all good. & your doing fine. The only thing bad, about not telling your parents, is the small chance of them finding out, but not from you. From someone else. I'd want to be the one to tell my parents. But hmm. I don't know.
Good luckk.
kbyee
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There is never anything wrong with love! If you truely love him and he truely loves you back then yes you are doing the right thing. I know that its wrong to hide things from your parents but i kow they would freak if they found out that you were living with ur boyfriend. Try to lay off the sexual contact because the one thing you do not want right now is to get pregnet. try to hold out intell you guys get really serious about getting married and set the date and all that. I hope i helped! *Follow your heart* Americangirl <3
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Its up to you to decide about living together, but I still think you shouldn't have sex right now since your in fear that you would get pregnant. There are times when condoms AND birth control pills don't work, and trust me...that happened before. So just be careful I guess, but my advice would be don't have sex until you get married.
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FROM MIKE AND MORGAN:
You are both adults, and your parents have to now accept that you can form your own opinions, beliefs, and values. You are clearly a responsible person -- you've completed your degree and you are waiting until your boyfriend also does so before getting married, which is a very wise decision.
I think the only thing you've done wrong is to deceive your family -- this makes you appear irresponsible. As an adult you also have to learn to stand up for your own beliefs, even if that means disappointing your parents.
Unless you have a history of abuse from your parents and fear a violent response, you should come clean and let them know you have been living together and plan to marry. This is the responsible and honest thing to do. Hopefully they will be proud of you for your accomplishments, but chances are they might be upset that you have gone against their wishes.
Just let them know that you feel you are making the right choice -- you are in a loving and secure relationship that will lead to marriage, but don't necessarily hold the same viewpoints as them regarding living together before getting married, and you hope they can support you in that decision even if it's not what they would have chosen for you. After all, as an adult you have to learn to make adult decisions and sometimes make adult mistakes.
As far as preventing pregnancy, keep being responsible. Visit your doctor or local clinic and use hormonal birth control if possible in conjunction with condoms -- this is nearly a surefire way to prevent pregnancy. You should both also be routinely tested for STDs to prevent any other problems.
Good luck!
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