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Smoking and drinking...
I'm a 17 year old male and I've been seeing this girl (20 female) for a while, and she's really cool. She's really easy to talk to and I just generally enjoy being with her. We had a conversation about smoking and drinking (both of which I am vehemently opposed to) and she told me that she never smokes OR drinks, which was a huge part of my attraction to her.
I found out though, through her telling me, that she was at a party and had a few drinks, and smoked a couple of cigarettes... Now I don't know what to say, because I want to tell her how I feel about that (I don't associate myself with people that don't respect themselves enough to avoid things like this) but we're not really going steady or anything like that, so would it be weird for me to express my feelings towards a subject, or is it not my place?
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Definetly talk to her. It's always nice to know someone is concerned about you. Just be sure that when you say something, it doesn't come out like you are trying to controll her or something, just state that you are worried about her turning this into an addiction etc...
Hope i helped a little!
-DD
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By all means talk to her about it.
However, you are not her keeper or her judge. It's not your place to berate her for choices. Many decent, respectful, kind people have a drink now and again, or smoke cigarettes. So you have no right to insult her or try to punish her for that.
But you can and certainly should express your confusion over what you heard, and ask her to elaborate on her feelings and actions, since you thought you understood. You might find you just aren't as compatible as you thought you were.
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Well, it's up to you. Clearly she smokes and drinks sometimes....and lies. Is that what you are looking for in a woman? If you already told her that you have a problem with it then there is no reason to rehash your opinion, just stop seeing her and if she asks why- tell her straight up.
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If the subject should come up I think you should mention it.
I also think you probably should just forget dating her if you feel that strongly about those things. She has shown, as most will I'm afraid, that she is not as committed to a healthy lifestyle as you are. :)
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