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Moody friend.
I met a new friend a few months ago. He's pretty cool but we are pretty much exact opposites. He can be really moody sometimes and takes things out on other people. He wallows in self pity and always complains about how life isn't worth it. Then he gets irritated by me whenever I have a different opinion and express it.
I've tried talking about this with him and it isn't working.
I really can't afford to lose him as a friend though even though he isn't much of a friend sometimes.
Still, I can't afford to lose him since he knows way too much about me.
And he is really fun to talk to when he's not in one of his moods.
Any advice on how to deal with him? Besides for talking it out, which I've tried numerous times?
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Punch him in his face.
But seriously, I think everyone has a friend like that/ or at least did at one point. Unfortunately like most forms of depression it's pretty much a personal inner war with themselves. It doesn't really matter what you say (unless you're helping him rip on himself), because it's all about how he feel about/ see himself.
My advice is to first try cheering him up by hanging out with him etc.
(Note: If you're a girl that you think he could potentially like and you don't feel the same way about him, don't lay it on too thick because he will be much more moody if he likes you and you turn him down. At the same time, don't go on like a pity-date with him; it may temporarily make him feel better, but he won't change.)
If the whole spending time with him and/or cheering him up and looking at the positives of his life does work, try judging the negatives of his life. Example, say he's upset or moody about people not calling him to hang out, ask him whether or not he would call somebody up if they were in an upset mood, or find out if he's been try to call anybody himself.
If all else fails, try the tough love approach and maybe spend some time apart. Sometimes moody people use their friends as their outlet for their complaints and are ever-so slightly content being the the #1 winner of the #1 loser award among their friends.
Anyways it's really late/early here I wouldn't be surprised if none of this makes any sense to you (/or me if i re-read it later)
So I'll just end this by giving the simplest advice on this matter.
NEVER give sympathy or pity to his causes, it just fuels the fire.
(while it's not much better, it is better to be apathetic than to be sympathetic to their woes.)
Best thing to do:
Skip the sympathy and go right to try to help him find a solution to his problem(s).
If he doesn't want your help then there is nothing you can do.
...but punch him in his face.
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oh WOW. the same thing happened to me too. i made a friend and he was a real jerk to me for a while, just like for no reason! butttttttt now me and him are best friends. and we were talking about it the other day, he said he was like that because he was going through alot of stress of liking a person who didn't like him back and his friends getting mad at him and homework that he would build up all the stress and explode on anyone. basically all i did was take it and give him advice. don't talk to him about it! it will only put him in a worse mood. if you really want to be fiends with him, listen to what he has to say and what he is mad about .. and try to help him figure it out.
hope that helps (=
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I have a friend exactly like this. Whenever they go into their things, I just try and cheer them up and help them the best I can. But if nothing seems to be working, I just tell them I'll be back later and I'll just leave them alone for awhile and let them be by themselves, and I just tell them "Well I'm gonna go upstairs for a bit. Text me or call me if you want to talk or anything." So whenever they're ready, they know they can talk to me.
And as for the opinion thing, this happens to, so whenever we start to talk about our opinions I'm just like,"Ok, that's your opinion, and this is mine." and if they keep talking about it, I'm just like,"Haha, okay, that's your opinion. I'm not going to argue or anything about it." and then I just move onto another subject.
Whenever people get into bad moods, it's really hard to try and get them out of it. It's just sometimes something they just need to think about and be alone for a bit. And they just have to help themselves get over it and nobody else can. Believe me, I've tried hundreds of times and it never seems to work. But I'm sure your friend appreciates the fact that you're trying to cheer them up.
I hope I helped. <3
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