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Age and Love
okay...first off i am 20 years old and I am a virgin and dont plan on EVER having sex until after marriage, so any relationship I have will always be innocent. so now my question...
There is this guy, who really loves me, and whenever I am with him I feel great. He is like the perfect guy that every girl dreams of meeting. and I love him very much. The thing is he is only 16 years old. :S so I feel like its very wrong for me to have any type of relationship with him, other than friends.
he keeps telling me it doesn't matter how old I am, and he doesn't care. but i feel like its really really wrong. and i told him that once he turns 18-19 to call me up. i could tell it really hurt him, and i cant stand the thought of not being with him. :( have i completely lost my mind? please give me your opinion and advice. negative or postive, as long as your being honest. and please no jokes.
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Dear ___,
I understand completly where you are coming from and i would love to help you, If you asre truly having theses feelings, you shouldnt worry about age, i mean im not sayin that you should date a 40 year old i am jus saying that 4 years isnt a big deal in age. my parents are 5 years different in age as long as you have these feelings for him you should go adn date him.
Good Luck,
Lauren
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It's kind of odd because there is typically a big difference in maturity between those two ages, but if there is no sex involved there is nothing at all wrong with persuing a relationship if that is what you want to do.
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I have to admit, I can see why you might feel a little weird about it. A lot of women don't feel comfortable dating a guy who is younger than they are. That being said, one of my Gran is a fair few years older than my Grandfer and they have been together for 51 years!
What I'm trying to say is that yes, it might seem a little weird right now because the age difference means that in comparison, he is still relatively young but that doesn't mean it can't work. If you really care about each other and you aren't breaking any laws, those four years really aren't a huge deal.
It might be worth giving the relationship a try. He already knows how you feel so you can tell him that you want to give it a try for a while and see how things go. If you find it too weird after around a month, you could suggest taking a break.
My only other concern about this is that you say you are both in love with each other. It sounds as though you have a sensible head on your shoulders, so I'm not disputing that, but 16 is still very young and it might be that he's not old enough to sustain a long-term relationship. At 20, you may well be looking more towards settling down with that special someone and opinions, particularly of young men at that age are very different. Before embarking on any sort of relationship, you need to discuss what you both want from it and where it might lead in the future. That way, you both know where you stand before you get in too deep.
I wish the best of luck to you both.
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You're absolutely crossing the line with this guy. You really made a great choice by saving yourself for marriage, but come on, a 16 year old? I thought your decision for sex meant you had morals!
I don't mean to insult or offend you, but 16 is far too young for a 20 year old and you know that. It's common sense. There is a guy that every girl dreams about that is around your age too! Maybe when this guy does turn 18 you can continue things, but do you really want to go through the pain of waiting one or two years to continue this?
I'm not saying this is true, but I think any 16 year old guy whose with a 20 year old woman is in it for the "older woman" attraction, to turn him on more. Do you seriously ever wonder if maybe you are living in a bizzare world when you think about this?
Your wrong feelings are very right. You don't belong in a relationship with a minor. It's the law basically. It may not be the law for a typical romantic relationship, but it should be.
-TheTeenGirl
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ok well i think that if you love him and he loves you then you should go out with him because true love only comes once in a lifetime!
Yes he might be like young and like the columnist below me said it dosent sound bad when somebody is 44 and the guy is 40 but then again it does when somebody is 13 and they go with a 9 year old lol!anyways i seriously honestly think that you should just go out with him because it seems like you really really like him and since your older and more mature you can help him out while you are happy 2=]well i hope everything turnz out great!
mucho luv~~~
(p.s. i think its so good that your waiting to get married to have sex!;])
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First of all i think its illegal for you two to be dating with him being 16 and you being 20!
Besides that, if you feel strong towards this person well don't put your life, or his for that matter on hold.
If you truly love each other well then date! It doesn't sound so bad when your 44 and he's 40 now does it? Yes people might judge you but if you love each other none of that will matter!
ok so the bad part of the advice...
He is only 16! In the future he might regret being tied down at such a young age. You have to remember this.
While all his friends are going out to parties and getting with girls and having different experiences he will be home with you.
ALthough at the time its great for the both of you but don't let him take it out on you if he realises on how much he would have missed out if he was to be in a full on serious relationship with you.
The choice is totally up to you, go for what makes you happy!
Hope I helped :)
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Hmm. You have to do what you feel is best. In my opinion, it would be best to wait a couple of years, since is younger, still in highschool, etc. he needs to focus on highschool. If he loves you like he says he does, he will call you up in a few years. Do whats best for you, if you think you two should wait a couple years, then wait, if you dont want to, then you don't need to. People might say stuff, but, it doesnt matter, as long as you dont have sex.Hope I helped! Happy Summer :)
-Brina
P.S- My advice is always positive, and honest never negative :)
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