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Girlfriend Or Family- Pick One.
I'm a bit older than the people that usually answer questions on this sight. I'm 28 and my girlfriend will be 27 in about a week.
We have been dating for about 7 months when I was in medical school in Cincinnati. I had to move to Rhode Island to start my residency, but she stayed in Cincinnati. I love her and I miss her terribly.
It gets difficult because my family is from a very traditional Indian family (Asian Indian), who do not believe in cross culture dating (or anything fo the sort). My girlfriend is caucasian. I kept the relationship secret for a while, but then I told my parents. My vacation is comign up and I want to spend it with her, but now my mum says that if I go to see her- she will not let me see my family anymore. I would be disowned. I love my family, but I love my girlfriend, and this is really tearing me up inside.
I don't know what to do, personally I wish I coudl just leave everything and everyone behind, but this is really affecting everything- my heart, mind, and soul.
What do you think that I should do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are in America! Here, as a general rule, we live our lives and don't let others live them for us. I'm sorry that your mother is taking such a hard stance, but if she loves you (like I'm sure she does) she will eventually come to the realization that you doing what is best FOR YOU is all she really wants. If you love your girlfiend, then treasure her and don't let your family sway you. In the end, you are the one who will hurt otherwise. Take a stand for the woman you love!
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Boy, this is a decision no one should ever have to make.
You don't say, are your parents in the United States? I guess it makes no difference but I'm wondering if you spent a couple of days with them
during your vacation and sat them down and talked to them would it make a difference? If they met her would it make a difference?
Does your girlfriend feel the same about you? Boy, I am full of questions, but if she doesn't
then of course you don't want to alienate your family.
I really can't imagine any mother shunning her child no matter how old he is. I realize I don't
understand your background and I do no it happens. I have to wonder though if you spoke to your mother face to face if it would make a difference. I know you want to spend vacation time with your girl but visiting mom and talking may be a better investment for your future.
Regardless of what you decide there are going to be some rough roads ahead. If your mother doesn't accept her will you be able to have a relationship with your girl without blaming her?
Is she strong enough to handle your families rejection?
I really wish I knew the perfect answer for you. I hope you can talk to your mom and get her to understand.
Best of luck. :)
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if i were you, i would go for the family UNLESS you are sure taht this girl is like, the one. because what if in the end, things dont work out between you and the girl, and you become girl-less and family-less? that wouldnt be very comforting. good luck. i hope you make the right choice
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Okay this is a very hard question :(
I'm sorry your put in this situation.
In my shoes what I would do is, go for the girl.
The companion, as long as you have friends, close friends, and are sure about this girl. Go for her, because love conqours all. I know losing your family would be devastating. But I dont understand how people can say only certain people of a certain race can love each other. Love is easy yet complex. And love is free, maybe your mom will relize eventually in time, that she made a big mistake. Maybe not, but take a chance, or let it pass you by.
Think about it.
<3
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