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Petrified Single mom
im a single mom my daughter is one month old and im scared to death. Back in august my daughtes father proposed and i said yes. in sept i got pregnant and then her father told me he was going to fight for full custody of her. so i ran but now social services has required that i file for child support. and if i get it cant he reques visitation rights. what you need to know though is that he lied to me about everything hes a decade older then he told me he was he lied about his middle name and a lot of other stuff. i need advice i dont want him getting any rights to her what can ido
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Hi
I was a single mom for five years, and it was my choice to not collect child support from my daughter's biological father.
Can social services actually "make" you file for child support? I live in Canada, and it is the mothers choice whether she wants child support or not.
Now, if your daughters father is a fit parent, then he does have a right to see and know his child. If he is an unfit parent, then that is a different story.
It is highly unlikely that he would get full custody of her. He is likely just trying to scare you. As long as you are a good mother, chances are that won't happen.
Because none of us know your exact situation, and what he's truly like, we can only give you our opinions.
If it's that important to you to keep your child away from him, then I would suggest not collecting child support (if that's possible). If he wants visitation rights, then he can and will have to take you to court to get them. While you are there you can bring up any concerns you have about him as a parent.
Find a good lawyer. I'm not sure how the legal system works in your part of the world, but in Canada there is legal aid for people who can't afford their own lawyer.
Always remember, that your daughter is the most important thing through all of this, and you must put her needs before whatever ill feelings you have towards her father. If you just don't want him around because you don't like him anymore, then you are robbing your daughter of knowing her father...something she may resent you for later in life. If he's destructive and abusive, then you must protect her....for this you may need help.
If you want to tell me more about your situation, I could help you more...just dump a question in my inbox and I will do my best. I've been through both sides of the coin.
Good luck,
Brenda
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Hey there.. I work as a secretary in a lawyers office in Australia...I assume your from America?? correct me if i'm wrong.
I suggest you get a lawyer. Things may work differently to how they do here but if you make an appointment to see a lawyer they will be able to draw up a contract or orders, take it to court and you can gain full residence/contact of your child with visitation rights for the father.
It can be a long process.
If you don't want any visitation rights for him to see your daughter you must see a lawyer and tell them that.
You must tell your lawyer everything like that he lied to you and you don't think he's a fit father to be around your child.
If you need anymore information on how to go about getting a lawyer... ask me!
Hope I helped :)
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If he pays child support he will get visitation rights. You will probably need to go through the court system and get all that sorted out. He has rights to his child the same as you do.
Now if he is abusive or would endanger the child in any way, you may be able to keep him from having some visitation. You need to talk to social services about it and see what they suggest. They may help with your legal help or at least find you someone who can.
As for him getting full custody, its not likely to happen. The courts tend to favor the mother so long as she isn't an extremely bad mother.
The only way you could continue to hide from him would be to get a good job and not accept help from social services. That may not be so easy to do though because child care would probably be outrageous. Talk to your social worker and see what he/she suggests. :)
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