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Who's Right on This One
A little more than 25 years ago, I met a guy who became a friend. About three years after we met, he took my car out one night, got drunk and smashed it up. I had to pay to tow the car away, junk it, and for tickets. Cost me over $1,000 at the time. He never offered to pay me for the damages to my car.
He was doing bad financially at that time and I figured that later on, when he was doing well, over time he would find some way to compensate me because we were still "friends."
Fast forward 25 years. This "friend" is single and doing well, owns house, car, good job, etc. Last year I borrowed $300 from him to buy emergency plane tickets, and told him I'd pay him back when I could. About three weeks later, he began to demand repayment in full. He was nasty about it so I reminded him about his car wreck 25 years ago. Nobody made him pay then.
He was still angry; I was stunned. No, I did not ever pay him back. The crisis has passed but I want to know, who's right about this? Should he get his $300 back? And what about people who think the passage of time relieves them of their financial and moral obligations? Your help please....
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
LEGALLY, he has a claim, but you do not. Ethically, you both have claims. Cover yourself and give him his $300, definitely ask him for the $1000, but understand that you probably won't get it. Then kick him to the curb. He sounds like a loser.
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You are sooo right!! you spent all the money on him when he needed help but when you borrow back from him he is all nastly about it. He's not a good person!!
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Neither of you are right. But i do think that he should pay you back just as you should pay him back. Maybe you should just give him the 300 dollars back. But never lend eachother that much money again. I dont think it was right for him to not pay you back, or offer. But you made a promise to him & just because he never gave you the money back, doesn't mean that's an excuse for you to not give him the money back. But he sounds like a pretty mean guy to me.
♥ nicole.
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You should give him the $300 back if you can and then tell him that you keep your promises and pay him back and that he should do the same. Then, if he can't pay you back for a large mistake that he caused and an expensive one. Maybe you should talk to him about your friendship and if he still doesn't get it, he doesn't treasure your friendship. THis would be an entirely different story if now, he is in a poor financial situation, but as you exlpained, he clearly has the money to pay you back.
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I think you should give him his $300 back... and when you give it to him, mention something about the $1000 that he never paid back to you 25 years ago. Obviously there's something to be said for charachter in situations like this... Neither one of you is "right" because you both are guilty of screwing over a friend. Hopefully you both learned not to lend money or cars to friends in the future... it doesn't usually end well.
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I honestly think you should pay the guy back! I mean, you promised that you would pay him back, and if you have the money, you really need to do it! When he borrowed the money from you, he never said that he would pay you back, did he?
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Wow I'm going thru this to. Last year this friend of mine asked could she borrow my truck for the night, I said yes but jokingly remarked you wreck it, you bought it. Turns out, she wrecked it. I told her I would split the deductible with her to be nice which ment she owed me her half of $250.00 she NEVER payed. Fast forward, I sold my computer to her for $300.00 she gave me the cash and time went on.. I wanted to buy the computer back from her. I gave her 100.00 and promised to give her the rest later, times got tough for a bit and I didn't pay her and she demanded the other $200.00 I wrote her a letter and told her by me keeping the computer and not paying her the rest it made us even for her wrecking my truck. Yea we no longer talk. I feel as though I am right in this situation. When he wrecked your car and you had to dish out all that money the right thing for him to of done was payed you back. Don't feel bad for what you did. Just because time elapsed it in no way minimizes the 1 thousand dollars you had to shell out that nite so now really the only thing to be done to make the situation right is for him to pay you $700.00 and make it even. Will you ever see that money probably not, but you got $300.00 out the deal so call it even.
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I don't know how close you and this "friend" are or used to be, I think it really might depend on that. Personally, I wouldn't want a friend who would treat me the way he has been treating you (like a bum), especially after the EXTREME kindness you showed him when the situation was reversed years ago. I think you're right, in that he should have absoloutely paid you back as soon as he could. But just because he didn't and showed his true colors more recently with all his nasty behavior, that doesn't mean you go back on your principles. I'd pay him back. After all, you borrowed it with the intention of paying him back and you probably wouldn't have just taken it then, right? No, because you're not him. He's a taker. And a jerk.
After I paid him back, I wouldn't have anything to do with him ever again. I wouldn't even accept an apology if it didn't come with over 1,000 dollars, either.
Shade
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you are definatly right i dont think you should pay him back thats just rude to do somthing like that and keep reminding him about the thing 25 years ago he will soon understand
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