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Ex girlfriend
My ex girlfriend and I, of about 2 years, broke up back in Feb. It ended because I cheated and she didn't talk to me for like 3 months after it happened.
We've finally started talking towards the end of May. I know she doesn't want to get back together with me so I at least want to be friends.
So, now, when we hang out everything will be going fine until something reminds her of our break up and what I did to her. She then picks a fight with me and tries to get me to argue back with her.
How can I get her over this phase so we can actually hang out without her freaking out on me? Please don't tell me to give her time. I already gave her 3 months. 18/m
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Three months is nothing for a long and rather serious relationship that ended in a hurtful way. Yes, she obviously needs much more time. I would like to point out that as you get older, you realize that it is hard to be real friends with someone who you dated seriously (sometimes even casually). Most adults don't try to persue friendships after a break-up, especially one that ended in a hurtful manner. There are just too many complicated feelings involved that take a very long time to heal, and sometimes never go away. I would have to ask why you two are so hell bent on being friends if you really aren't interested in each other anymore. I think the best thing to do is to go your separate ways. It may not seem like what you want to do, but you'll be more inclined to this point of view as you get older. Often times, it really is the best thing.
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She obviously still feels a bit raw over the break up and the fact that you cheated on her. She may still care a great deal about you and perhaps still feels that there is a connection there. It is very difficult to put a betrayal behind some people and she probably needs to let you know exactly what it did to her. Give her the chance to talk everything over with you without interrupting her or picking a fight with her. Suggest that if she feels unable to tell you face-to-face, get her to write down every question she has. You could then read it and answer her verbally. You might have to take quite a bit of bitching but if it helps to clear the air and get back to a good friendship it just might be worth. I hope that helps.
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you need to talk to her and tell her what you think and try to understand her and if that doesnt work out i would just say "forget it" if i were you because that apparently shows that shes not making much of an effort to stay at least friends. you just have to decide if its really worth it because youre right you already gave her time she should b over it by now but there is also the possibility that she just needs to get some things off her chest. ask her that but dont seem too desperate!! just tell her what you think and ask her to talk to you about it. hope this helps. let me no how everything works out.
-Jenna-
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