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ekk help we're dying
i'm fifteen yrs old. i'll be sixteen in 3 months. which isn't very far away. in november i met a guy and i really liked him. we talked for a whole day and then he asked me out. I said yes and i fell wayy hard. we had a relationship like no other. we deffently fell in love. he was 17. his birthday is in like two weeks. when we broke up i made an agreement with myself to get him back because i really did love him.. we were apart for a month and he dated people and so did i but we always found ourselves making out and holding hands every chance we got and talking on the phone everynight and still saying i love you. then he went out with my best friend and this completely killed me. one week later they broke up because she cheated on him and then he asked me back out. i didn't even hisitate to say yes. i had the love of my life back. this time we've been together for 4 months. it's been nothing short of amazing. we've seriously been through everything and we have an undying love for each other. last week my mom told me that she didn't want us dating any more being she thinks he's too old and she thinks he s a loser because he droped outa school. ive tried talking to her about this before and it worked. but she said this time her mind is final. this guy is really my everything but his friends don't like me. they think i cheat on him and stuff and are constinaly telling him he can do better. well we've been trying so hard to stay together and now he's ready to just give up. i think he got this idea from his friends but even tough we broke up last night.. nothing's changed.. i think he's coming over tomorrow to talk to me about it and i even wrote him a long email... if i dont get him back i swear i'll die. any advice for me...
i'm not goin gto move on so don't bother telling me that...
any questions about anything just ask.
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sorry, i dont know how to help you. but maybe try talking to him more and more everyday.
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first off, i think you should get his friends set straight on their story about you. your man should be standing up for you girl, or atleast you have to stand up for yourself. if its not true, dont let them think it! and as for your mom, she has a right to feel this way. i mean he did drop out and he is pretty old. as long as he has a job though, it should make the situation a little better. exaplin to your mom that your happy, and that your really wanna be with him. if you guys broke up last ngith, then i dont knwo what kinda advice you want me to give you abouty that..
hope this helps!! :] ♥
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aw, well i really wishi could give you the best answer, but i kinda understansd. i lost someone who i thought i couldn't live with out.
i told myself i wouldn't move on and i'd wait.
i'm not telling you to move on, becuz i know how hard that is,
since your mom doesn't really agree, i'm not sure how i can tell you what to say to convince her, just because i've not had a mom to do that with
but if yawl are stll togather bring him over for dinner or to wathc a movie with you mom, maybe she like him more
but if he really loves you and you love him, his friends won't get in the way
if youk now you haven't cheated oh him, try not to worry becuz as much as they try to convince him you did, you know the truth, so that should make you feel better
well i wish i oculd help you more, but i hope i did in some way..
keep me updated =]
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Oh you poor thing!! Nothing and I mean nothing hurts more than losing a loved one, whether you lose them because you break up or they pass on or they just leave.
However, even though I know you love him and can't imagine your world without him, he isn't necessarily going to be the only love you ever have. When I was 12, I was very much in love with a guy at my school and we were good friends. When he left to go to a different school and told me he never wanted to see me again, I felt pain that I never even imagined existed and it took me five whole years to truly get over him. Then, when I was 17, I met the guy I am with now and although I truly believed I loved the first guy because it FELT like love and I couldn't imagine life without him, it cannot compare to what I have now.
My point is that even though this feels like the real thing right now, you are still only 15 and the truth is, you have SO much life left to live that you can't just say "He's the one" and let that be the end of it. BUT, I'm not telling you to get over him. It's not that easy and in my experience, you need to be ready to get over someone and move on and you aren't there yet. By the sounds of it, neither is he.
Now, the main issue is resolving the problem with your Mum. I can truly understand her concern because although the age gap isn't very great, those two years can make a huge difference when you are young and to a Mother, the idea of her 15 year old daughter dating what she imagines to be a 17 year old Lothario is terrifying. In her mind, she probably imagines him seducing you into sex and young drinking and going off somewhere in his car with him......the worries of a Mother are endless. Please also understand that she has had to cope with seeing her beloved daughter heartbroken a number of times by this guy. I can sympathise with her completely on this one. I doubt she wants to see you go through that again. I know you say you tried to talk to her about it but, although I don't want to patronise you by saying this, how reasonable was the discussion? I only say this because it is only in this last year that I have begun to be able to discuss disputed matters with my parents without getting loud and very emotional when they disagree with me!!
If he is willing and your Mum is willing, it might be a good idea to allow your Mum to give him a 'grilling', so to speak. The only way her worries will be laid to rest is if she has a chance to confront him about them directly. I'm not saying this will be a comfortable experience for you or the guy in question but it might be a necessity if you wish to see him again.
On a side note, the fact that he dropped out of school is not necessarily a valid point. I also dropped out of school when I was 17 and it was the best decision I ever made. I now have a very well paid job, a steady boyfriend and a mortgage, while my friends that stayed on to go to university are thousands of pounds in debt. You need to stress to your Mother that education is something you can return to at any point in your life but he is currently working on life experience and if you miss out on that, you can never get it back.
As for his friends, if this guy is worth having at all, what his friends think should have no bearing on his relationship with you. There will ALWAYS be people who stand on the sidelines of someone else's relationship shouting criticism but the thing he needs to realise is that it isn't their relationship and the only people that EVER count to a relationship is the two people in it. If he can't stand by you while his friends are bitching about you then he's not a very good boyfriend to you.
Basically, he needs to ditch the friends, you need to let your Mother speak to him directly to qualm her fears and you need to accept that however much you may love him, sometimes thing just aren't destined to be and even if you don't want to or don't think you can, you may have to try to get over him and move on. Please don't rule this out as an option. I know it feels like it but you really won't die if you aren't with him because at only 15, you have no idea what sort of fantastic life is waiting for you out there. You can't throw that away on a guy, no matter how strongly you feel about him. It will all work out for the best but you need to be strong, whatever happens.
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hey! alright well i'm sorry all of this happened... it's a bit of a tough situation. obviously you must really like the guy if you forgave him for dating your best friend! on the other hand, im not sure why your best friend did such a thing to begin with?
anyway, there are two things you need to do to try and make the relationship work. as far as him and his friends go... you are absolutely right, he is starting to give up because his friends keep telling him bad things about you and the relationship. even though he might ignore their comments, some of them over time will get to him if they haven't already. let's face it... our friends have a big influence on our lives. he obviously isn't controlled by his friends, which is a good thing, but they do influence him a little bit which is normal. to solve that problem, talk to him about his friends. ask him what they say about you and why they say those things. don't yell or bad mouth them... they are his friends, and he will be upset if you do. talk about the whole situation, and be patient. tell him that you want to get to know them better so that they can like you and you can like them too. because friends have a big influence on people, once they like you, they will say good things about you to him and encourage the relationship, which will in turn encourage him to keep trying to make it work. you don't have to kiss their a**, but you should be nice to them and get to know them. they might try to resist at first, but eventually they should start to like you!
second problem is your mom. she thinks he is too old, even though he is only a year older than you? unless you mean that he is turning 18 in 2 weeks... which would mean he is 2 years older. but that's not a big deal either! i think she is just saying that to find more excuses to get you guys to break up. in reality, i think the reason she is upset about it is because he dropped out of high school. that is not something that parents see as a good thing... ever, so i can see why she is being this way about the whole situation. i think you should sit down and talk to her again. explain to her that it's not like you are getting married to this guy, so it doesn't really matter if he is a drop out. tell her that he won't influence you in any negative ways, and if anything, you might even be able to influence him to change and finish up school and maybe even go on to college. explain to her that he is a good person with good intentions, and that he cares about you and you care for him. tell her to put herself in your shoes and imagine if someone had told her who to date and not to date when she was young. reassure her that you are old and responsible enough to decide who to date, and that if you feel like the relationship is not right at any point, you can deal with the break up. it's hard enough dealing with a relationship to begin with, but having a parent stand in the way makes it nearly impossible. tell your mom you want her to get to know him better, and invite him over for dinner with the family so she can see he is a good guy!
let me know if you need more help, and i hope all of this helps. it might not all work out over night, but i think if you try to be on better terms with his friends and get him on better terms with your mom, things should go smoothly from there! :) good luck!
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Well it seems ya'll really love each other alot. Even though his friends tells him this if he loves you enough to trust u he shouldn't break up with you for that. Let him understand what you went through to be with him when he sees or talks to you next.
Ask him his reasons for breaking up with you and pay special attention to them. If he does say the break up is final ask for one other chance.
I hope all works well for you
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