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BLOCKED! What is a friend?
There's this guy at work that likes me. He's liked me for a while now... however I do not like him.. and his way of approaching me. His flirtatious words and all that I did not really feel comfortable with that. But otherwise if he's serious and we talk about useful stuffs such as computers and stuffs It's alrite. He helped me fix my computer last time and said he'd come over again today to help me come over however... he never showed up. This is because of our convo yesterday:
He: If there's anything else you'd like me to DL just give me a list.
Me: Nah it's ok. I dun wanna wast your time.
He: Time used on you is never a waste.
Me: But there's no way of me repaying you.
He: Do I really not have a chance at all?
Me: As friends very likely, but no more or less.
He goes on talkin about how we should give it a try and how you'll never know until you try things out since love is unpredictable.. I told him no.. I do not want a bf rite now nor do I wanna get involved in a relationship. He goes on and says well you're my type of girl but i guess Im just not ur type. and then he says well hope happiness and love will be your guidance angels forever and hope you'll find your true love soon. then i said thx.. and that was the last convo we've had... I dun get it how come we can't b fwnds? How come he has to act like he doesn't know me?? I'm glad I changed my shift to Fridays instead of Sat. otherwise it'd be even more awkward hafing to face each other. But.. I don't know I feel bad.. there's this thingy that's been eating at me for a while.. I just don't like it when I lose a friend... but is this a real friend? I mean when someone likes you that's why they wanna get close to you... but then it's not like they are nice to you because they wanna be fwnds... it's coz they are interested in you and wish to go out with you... Should I just ignore him too? Should I forget about it?? But wat if we haf this gathering at work... and I hafta see him?? what do I do?? ignore him? Get ignored? Man... I wish not everybody at work knew about him liking me... most people did tho.. even the boss..
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If he really has feelings for you, it may be hard for him to see you if you're not interested.
Being JUST friends isn't what he wants so being around you is difficult for him at the moment.
That doesn't mean it will always be awkward. After some time has passed and he maybe gets interested in someone else, you may be able to be friends then.
Rejection is hard for anyone to swallow. He may also be a little embarrassed about it. More so since everyone knew he liked you.
Give it some time. You may be friends one of these days. Until then be polite when you see him or have to talk to him, he will probably do the same. He probably just won't go out of his way to have contact with you. :)
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This guy has obviously had his feelings quite deeply hurt. That isn't your fault, as you've been honest with him and that's the best thing you could have done in the situation. But I think that it's unrealistic of you to expect him not to be hurt and immediately switch to friends-only mode, as he obviously had quite strong feelings for you.
Perhaps one day he'll be over you and you can have a friendship, but right now he needs some time and space to heal. He's had both his feelings and his pride hurt, and he can't just ignore those feelings and be just friendly with you.
The best thing you can do at the moment is remain friendly, polite and open so that he knows he can approach you as a friend if and when he's ready, but to, for now at least, give him space and not actively seek him out. If you see him at work, say hello and ask how he is, but leave it at that.
Becoming friends after some sort of heartache is a slow process, because somebody has to change their boundaries and bury some feelings, and that takes time and often considerable effort. Respect that and give him some space and hopefully with time you will be able to get along in a professional way again, and perhaps even be friends.
Don't be disheartened that he's not interested in genuine friendship just because he likes you as more than a friend. His deep feelings for you are a result of him seeing you as a great individual generally - attraction this deep is because he likes your personality as well as your looks. If he can get past his feelings, then I'm sure he thinks you are interesting and would like to get to know you as a real friend, but, as I've said above, this will probably take a considerable amount of time given how deeply he currently feels for you.
All the best.
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When a guy is interested in you and you don't feel the same way, the possibilities of having a friendship isn't that great and it's not something you should take harshly. He got rejected by you and that hurts him.
It really is hard to be just friends with someone you have romantic intentions for. So don't think of this as him ignoring you, he's just probably not happy that you don't want anything more with him so he doesn't like the thought of only being your friend. My suggestion is to stop feeling guilty and bad that he's not talking to you anymore because you have to give him space just as he's giving you. If you see each other at work, just act like you always have.
-TheTeenGirl
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Hello there,
Perhaps you don't understand how simple the problem is:
This guy fell in love with you. You rejected him. He doesn't want to be humiliated anymore.
It really is that simple.
The reason you can't be friends is that he is in love with you. Every time he sees you, it makes him miserable.
If you have never been rejected by anyone, count yourself lucky. Most people have, and they don't like to be reminded of it.
You remind him of rejection, so why should even want to see you, let alone talk to you?
Now, it is important to understand that by telling him how you really felt, you did him a great favor.
Many people will lead the other person on rather than say NO I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU.
Being told directly hurts now, but some people can recover from this.
Being led on, is the reason many people give up on life and turn homeless. They fall so hard in love that without the person they love, their life has no meaning.
It was a big risk for him to tell you how he felt. Now he is embarrassed, and the other people at work may be making fun of him. Don't be surprised to see him leave that job.
This is why people are advised not to get involved when they work together. It usually ends with one or both of them so humiliated they have to quit the job.
Who knows what will happen from here. Maybe he will find someone new, or maybe he will never get over you. Too early to tell.
Whatever you do at this point, don't give him any hope. His heart has been smashed to pieces. Let it heal, if it ever will, and maybe he can go on his way.
The usual way of dealing with this is for the person who has had their hopes destroyed to hate the other one. Don't expect him to just get over it. He probably never will
Enjoy.
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