|
Why does my Dad hate me so much?
I don't even know where to begin...
My Dad has been flipping out on me for things I don't even do. He makes everything my fault and I can't talk to him about it because he says "I'm overreacting" or that he doesn't do that. He is constantly telling me to be more like my little sister, who apparently can do no wrong. It always feels like he hates me, and just now he left the house mad because I FIXED my keyboard....I FIXED IT and he still is pissed. I don't know what he wants from me but it always feels like I'm never going to measure up to whatever it is that he wants from me. I don't know what to do, everytime I try to talk to him about ANYTHING he ignores me, or just doesn't care. I'll ask him about his day or tell him about mine, and he just says "mhm" or doesn't acknoweldge me at all. This has been happening for a really long time, about 5 months or so has he made me just bawl my eyes out. I was in the BEST mood today, and he accused me of not respecting him when I didn't even do anything to provoke it and I went up into my room and bawled my eyes out. I can't take it anymore...my Mom says it's "tough love"...but it's not like I'm even doing anything wrong!!! I just don't understand why my Dad hates me so much...I always feel like the unloved child, and I don't know what to do anymore.
Any advice?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Since none of us are your father, we can't possibly understand why he reacts the way he does. Usually however, there are underlying things happening that others don't realise are stressful on top of what is seen.
If trying to talk directly hasn't been successful perhaps you could ask your mum for guidance in how to approach him, with a more positive outcome.
If that's not an option, sometimes writing things down can be useful...perhaps write him a brief (but specific)letter asking for his help to understand what is causing the friction between the two of you. It could be a useful time to remind him of the things you like about him. Let him know you want to play a part in fixing the friction too, coz it takes two to make things work.
It is more likely that your dad doesn't understand your perspective (eg...he's not a mind reader, and dads can find it difficult to admit they don't have all the answers.
Just bear in mind he is human too, so is prone to making mistakes (as we all do), so try to be paitent while you work your way through this.
Best of luck to you and your family :-)
]
My guess is that there's stress in other parts of his life and he's taking it out on you... you might ask him about that. It's weird that he doesn't want to have a normal conversation with you, like about your day, but he'll go off and criticize you. I think next time he does that, you should tell him how you feel, especially if he says something about how you treat him (like not respecting him or listening)... use that opportunity to tell him how frustrated you are about never really communicating, just getting yelled out. Ask him if he remembers the last time you just talked about what was up in your lives, and encourage him to tell you about how he feels, not just how pissed off he is. A lot of times dads have trouble knowing how to approach their daughters, he might feel like you're in a different world and he should write off a relationship with you, and I hate to see that but it's all too common.
]
hey, well ive went through a period of my life like this. with my dad too. what i did was had a talk with my dad. my dad and i both agreed to try counciling. it took a while to make him agree, almost 1 year i believe. but we did it and everything worked out. we did counciling for about 1 year and a half. our relationship has been better ever since. good luck = ]. cait♥
]
More Questions: |